The Power in Strength

I worked out so hard tonight that I literally thought I was going to throw up. I felt sick to my stomach. I thought they only threw up on the Biggest Loser. Now I know what they feel like. But the crazy thing is, I worked out harder and more intensely tonight than I ever have. And I had SO MUCH FUN. There was a little drama surrounding Franklin taking the van to the city tonight for practice and I wanted to strangle someone at the thought of missing my favorite Tuesday classes. Super Jess to the rescue, picked me up and off we went. I am actually already sore - 2 hours later, so that tells me I worked out really hard. My legs, my butt, my shoulders, my upper back, my biceps and triceps. My entire body except my ears.

For the first time, and at the risk of sounding vain again, but you need to understand that I don't ever really look at myself in the mirror, not for very long anyway and not too closely. But tonight, especially as I lifted the bar during the biceps and shoulder tracks. Jessica pointed it out to me when I took off my hoodie, and I was actually embarrassed to look at myself. But during class, and I'm in the front now, I had no choice and for the first time, really was proud of what I saw.

Combat was the most crowded I have EVER seen it. I practically had my face shoved up against the front mirror! I have entered what Alex calls "the zone". I shared with him last week that I can hear his instructions, hear the music, but am focusing only on myself in the mirror and the movements. I tune out everyone around me. I think that's where I am supposed to be. The cardio is so intense. I tried to step it up a notch, jumping higher, raising my knees higher as we ran, punching harder. I literally felt like my heart was going to explode. I even told Alex under my breath that I hated him and wanted to kill him! That's true dedication :) The truth is, as an instructor, he is the one that motivates me to work harder. Yes, I have discovered an internal determination that spurs me on, and a desire to change my body and my life, but without the right instructor, it makes that part of the journey so much harder. Thank you Alex. I know I tell you that weekly.

I really felt strong tonight. It felt so good. I felt invincible. Now I feel wiped out. During class I couldn't see straight. I still can't see straight. Time for bed. I think a couple of Advil are in order. I have a very strong suspicion that I am going to wake up in pain tomorrow. And I know that it's gonna be a great day.