Deflated

I was flying high tonight. WAS. I had a great class, although smaller than the last. Got all the tracks in again! Felt like I had hit my groove and was figuring out this timing thing.


Then Julie, a long time participant who has been sick for the last week and a half, came to me after class and said "Kristy, I know I haven't been here in a week and a half or so, but (and here I thought she was going to say something like she really felt it, it was hard, something like that and instead she said) it was like you were a different person! You have improved so much it's like you have been teaching this forever! You are so much more confident!"

I hugged her. She totally made my night. It meant so much to hear that.

And now, for reasons I can't get into, I am feeling a bit like back at square one. Not totally, but feeling a bit defeated and like I have a mountain to climb instead of a hill. I have no more classes to teach to prepare for this  Sunday's taping, and I can feel my stress starting to rise. I know it's partly hormonal and I need to get over myself and just do what I need to do to perfect this taping. But the emotional, irrational part of me feels like I don't really know what I am doing. I felt good after watching my video last night, felt like I knew what needed to be corrected and that I have been doing that. It took me 3 days to process Alex's suggestions. And now I feel like I have even more to worry about. I know it's ridiculous, but you can't control emotions so I guess I just need to let the feelings take over me, hopefully sleep on it and tomorrow's another day.

Sigh. I hate being an emotional woman sometimes. Pisses me off to no end.