Third time's a charm.....hopefully. Actually, Y-E-S. I feel pretty good about this one. It's amazing what a few classes will do.
The first video, I was excited, and nervous. My hair looked better because it was straight (yes, there is a bit of vanity involved, when you know you will be viewed by a stranger, and by me, of course!), on the second video I left it curly and I looked like a wet, messy poodle (see why I don't want one of those?) plus I was nervous, I knew what I needed to work on and I was stressed about it.
Today? What was the difference? Other than the fact that my muscles were SCREAMING at me for teaching a 5th class this week and putting them through yet another tough class, as I upped my weight? I don't know. I straightened my hair (dumb, I know since I sweat like a pig and it curls up again!), bought a new red/black top so I "looked" the BodyPump part, but really? I was just more confident, I guess. Alex commented that I was way more relaxed, had an attitude like "Whatever will be, will be" so it just flowed better. I am always nervous during track 1, the warm up. My arms always shake, I feel nervous for some reason. By the second track I am fine. Today, he noticed I was more relaxed, conversational. I had a couple of friends come try the class for the first time and I was so happy to have them there. I was conscious of the camera but not obsessed with it. One of the participants told me afterward that I even cracked a joke! Huh? I need to watch the video now because I have no memory of that! I hope it wasn't cheesy!!
Overall the class went great. I don't believe I messed up any of the choreography, didn't drop any weights, the iPod did have a couple of moments when it wanted to mess with my head - I would pause it to stretch between tracks and it kept playing. Oh well. And after the tricep track, the sweat was pouring in my eyes and my savior Stephanie tossed me her towel.....it looked like I was winking at her but she knows me well enough to know that it was stinging sweat dripping in my eyes! I was VERY conscious of NOT tapping my toes but a video viewing will tell me for sure. I also tried hard not to bounce to the music during biceps! The video may not be perfect, but I am fairly confident that it is good enough to submit. I mean, I AM a beginning instructor.....with LOTS of room for improvement! I told Franklin today that I can't wait until like 5 years from now, to go back and look at this video and say "Wow I was horrible back then!" hahaha!!
After class, I was able to work with a couple of friends on technique, then after packing up, Alex and I went off to our usual Starbucks/Chipotle location and after a bit, Franklin and the kids met us there. We were able to sit outside, as it was finally a bit sunny for the first time in a week. Had a nice time, then Alex had to tape my video "introduction". Had me put on his cool driving sunglasses.....hee hee can't wait to see how THAT turns out!
Lunch, then home, then laundromat (yes, my stupid washer, while brand new, and hoses finally installed correctly, is still unusable because the washers on the faucets must be so old that they are now leaking, making me go to the laundromat to wash and then home to dry) while the boys are at the soccer field. I am feeling it now, that fatigue in my muscles that is making me PRAY that I don't get called to sub for the next few days........because if I get called, I know that I will say yes. Sigh. I am looking forward to a massage I scheduled on my birthday on Friday......it can't come soon enough!!
I can't wait to see this video, once Alex uploads it for me......keeping my fingers, toes and eyes crossed.....
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Third Times a Charm
Tomorrow is my third and final taping for my BodyPump assessment video. I am ready. I know what I need to improve upon. The trick is to put it all together and try to hit it all without forgetting anything!
I know my choreography. I mean, really, I have been teaching so much lately that I should have this down perfectly. Just in the month of February I am teaching 13 classes. In a 28 day month. And I have been called twice to sub outside of this that I have turned down. Wow. Never in my wildest dreams, when I began this journey, did I think I would be teaching this often. I am not complaining. I have had more opportunities than other new instructors to practice in preparation for filming the assessment video since I have two classes a week that are mine. I am very fortunate. I am also very fortunate to have the feedback from long time participants on how each class is progressing, to have new participants who are excited and keep coming back to class, to have a friend and mentor like Alex who willingly gives up his time to tape me numerous times and give me feedback and suggestions to make me a better instructor, to have other instructor friends like Kimi, Amy, Jozi, Christelle, Donna and Pam for emotional support......not to mention my family for their patience with my mood swings, time away from them to teach and practice......geez I sound like I'm giving an acceptance speech or something!
Tomorrow will be my 17th class. Feels like more. I've been teaching for 5 weeks. Today was the fourth class I've taught this week. I will not lie. It was tough. I am very sore, and I went down on my weights today knowing that I have to increase tomorrow and be on my game. I guess there is such a thing as too much BodyPump! What I need to work on is balance - with my fitness program, with accepting sub jobs, with my work and home life. Why is it that balance is such a hard thing to achieve? I know that part of it is that I love what I am doing so much. That makes it harder to say no to it. There is also the pressure to tape the video, so the more practice I get the better. In hindsight, I should have gone a bit lighter on the teaching this week so I could be fresher tomorrow, but I know that the adrenaline will kick in as I am teaching and I'll be fine. After I submit this video, I am going to plan in my cardio workouts - Stephanie and I want to start running again and if I can do that in between my teaching BP, then I can be a bit more well rounded.
I will be 43 next week. Exactly 3 years ago, on my 40th birthday, pictures were taken of me that ended up being the perfect "before" pictures. If I could have foreseen, on that day, what my life would look like today.....I wouldn't have believed it. Never in a million years. Sure, I dreamed about being thinner, being fit. But......where I am now? Wasn't even on the horizon of my thoughts.
This just goes to show....your mind is a powerful thing. "Life can be magic if you choose to see it."(taken off Alex's FB post tonight). Wallowing in negativity gets you......more negativity and a life that is not happy. Change your thinking.....hope for the best......see yourself doing the impossible, living a dream........DREAM BIG........don't be afraid of shooting for the stars......because you just might get what you wish for. And if you don't? Then come up with a new dream, a new reality. Nothing is impossible, even when all seems low....
I did. I am living my dream. My health, my family, my friends, are all part of the best dream. I still have a long way to go, more dreams to realize. I don't know what they all are going to be, but that's okay. I'll think of them along the way. I'll come up with new ones when I see something that I want, something I want to do. When I think of something that seems impossible? I won't, or at least, I'll try, not to negate it. Because there is NO way, almost 3 years ago, that I thought I could be a fitness instructor. NO WAY. It took time, little steps along the way, for me to begin to hope, begin to wish. It was terrifying.
Now? It's so much FUN. Sore muscles and all.......
I know my choreography. I mean, really, I have been teaching so much lately that I should have this down perfectly. Just in the month of February I am teaching 13 classes. In a 28 day month. And I have been called twice to sub outside of this that I have turned down. Wow. Never in my wildest dreams, when I began this journey, did I think I would be teaching this often. I am not complaining. I have had more opportunities than other new instructors to practice in preparation for filming the assessment video since I have two classes a week that are mine. I am very fortunate. I am also very fortunate to have the feedback from long time participants on how each class is progressing, to have new participants who are excited and keep coming back to class, to have a friend and mentor like Alex who willingly gives up his time to tape me numerous times and give me feedback and suggestions to make me a better instructor, to have other instructor friends like Kimi, Amy, Jozi, Christelle, Donna and Pam for emotional support......not to mention my family for their patience with my mood swings, time away from them to teach and practice......geez I sound like I'm giving an acceptance speech or something!
Tomorrow will be my 17th class. Feels like more. I've been teaching for 5 weeks. Today was the fourth class I've taught this week. I will not lie. It was tough. I am very sore, and I went down on my weights today knowing that I have to increase tomorrow and be on my game. I guess there is such a thing as too much BodyPump! What I need to work on is balance - with my fitness program, with accepting sub jobs, with my work and home life. Why is it that balance is such a hard thing to achieve? I know that part of it is that I love what I am doing so much. That makes it harder to say no to it. There is also the pressure to tape the video, so the more practice I get the better. In hindsight, I should have gone a bit lighter on the teaching this week so I could be fresher tomorrow, but I know that the adrenaline will kick in as I am teaching and I'll be fine. After I submit this video, I am going to plan in my cardio workouts - Stephanie and I want to start running again and if I can do that in between my teaching BP, then I can be a bit more well rounded.
I will be 43 next week. Exactly 3 years ago, on my 40th birthday, pictures were taken of me that ended up being the perfect "before" pictures. If I could have foreseen, on that day, what my life would look like today.....I wouldn't have believed it. Never in a million years. Sure, I dreamed about being thinner, being fit. But......where I am now? Wasn't even on the horizon of my thoughts.
This just goes to show....your mind is a powerful thing. "Life can be magic if you choose to see it."(taken off Alex's FB post tonight). Wallowing in negativity gets you......more negativity and a life that is not happy. Change your thinking.....hope for the best......see yourself doing the impossible, living a dream........DREAM BIG........don't be afraid of shooting for the stars......because you just might get what you wish for. And if you don't? Then come up with a new dream, a new reality. Nothing is impossible, even when all seems low....
I did. I am living my dream. My health, my family, my friends, are all part of the best dream. I still have a long way to go, more dreams to realize. I don't know what they all are going to be, but that's okay. I'll think of them along the way. I'll come up with new ones when I see something that I want, something I want to do. When I think of something that seems impossible? I won't, or at least, I'll try, not to negate it. Because there is NO way, almost 3 years ago, that I thought I could be a fitness instructor. NO WAY. It took time, little steps along the way, for me to begin to hope, begin to wish. It was terrifying.
Now? It's so much FUN. Sore muscles and all.......
Lots and Lots of BP
I'm pretty exhausted. Being sick for more than a week, plus working and being hunched over testing kindergartners, and teaching lots of BodyPump makes for one tired lady.
Tomorrow I'm subbing for Kristin at 9:00 am and I need to sleep. I've been watching my videos again in preparation for my final taping on Sunday. I need to nail this. I want to be done with it so I can alleviate some of the stress I'm under. I'm not nervous about it, but I've had such specific feedback about my technique that I'm beginning to wonder if I can remember it all and hit everything. It's a lot to remember!
Today, even though I had it off and I needed a rest day, I felt the urge to go to the gym and do some mirror work. I was surprised when Franklin said he'd come along and do it with me. I've been trying to get him to try my class but he's afraid of not being able to finish, which is a valid fear but there are many participants, (myself included before I became an instructor), who need to take breaks during tracks. I mean, I don't think I ever finished a lunge track until more than two years of taking the class!
We set up in the GX room and it was surprisingly hard to coach him. Maybe I was conscious of the people using the room, and the music was playing on my phone because I wasn't going to use the stereo. We could both hear it alright and I wasn't too concerned with the coaching, mostly the cueing and the thrill of actually seeing myself in the mirror again. It's not a matter of vanity - I have not watched myself and my form other than in videos for so long. It's a strange sensation teaching in front of 30 people and not being able to see your form and technique - you have to FEEL it and trust that you're doing what you are coaching. It was good to see myself again! I need to do that more often.
Franklin was a champ. He struggled, especially with work that had us on our knees. I put him through the entire class except the chest track, as I didn't feel like I needed to practice that one. Lunges and squats were hard for him, and the clean and press. He has seen me practice HUNDREDS of times, heard the music more than that, watched my class from outside the Group X room, seen my videos........but he said the greatest things to me when we were done. He said, "I have way more respect for you now", and "I'm SO proud of you" and "I'm so impressed" and "It looks so easy from the outside - it kicked my BUTT!". It was so nice to have that validation from him. He still doesn't feel ready to join me in a real class but I figure if I can get him to practice with me, get him to feel more comfortable with the technique and the choreography, then he will come. Right now it is midnight and he is at the gym with his friend, for a two hour workout. He has been going 5-6 days a week. I mean NIGHTS. They are nuts but like to go when it's almost empty and get their workout in. Whatever works for them!
I am very sore. I will have to lower my weights tomorrow for class, but I am treating it like I am taping, in preparation for Sunday.
Yawn. Off to bed.
Tomorrow I'm subbing for Kristin at 9:00 am and I need to sleep. I've been watching my videos again in preparation for my final taping on Sunday. I need to nail this. I want to be done with it so I can alleviate some of the stress I'm under. I'm not nervous about it, but I've had such specific feedback about my technique that I'm beginning to wonder if I can remember it all and hit everything. It's a lot to remember!
Today, even though I had it off and I needed a rest day, I felt the urge to go to the gym and do some mirror work. I was surprised when Franklin said he'd come along and do it with me. I've been trying to get him to try my class but he's afraid of not being able to finish, which is a valid fear but there are many participants, (myself included before I became an instructor), who need to take breaks during tracks. I mean, I don't think I ever finished a lunge track until more than two years of taking the class!
We set up in the GX room and it was surprisingly hard to coach him. Maybe I was conscious of the people using the room, and the music was playing on my phone because I wasn't going to use the stereo. We could both hear it alright and I wasn't too concerned with the coaching, mostly the cueing and the thrill of actually seeing myself in the mirror again. It's not a matter of vanity - I have not watched myself and my form other than in videos for so long. It's a strange sensation teaching in front of 30 people and not being able to see your form and technique - you have to FEEL it and trust that you're doing what you are coaching. It was good to see myself again! I need to do that more often.
Franklin was a champ. He struggled, especially with work that had us on our knees. I put him through the entire class except the chest track, as I didn't feel like I needed to practice that one. Lunges and squats were hard for him, and the clean and press. He has seen me practice HUNDREDS of times, heard the music more than that, watched my class from outside the Group X room, seen my videos........but he said the greatest things to me when we were done. He said, "I have way more respect for you now", and "I'm SO proud of you" and "I'm so impressed" and "It looks so easy from the outside - it kicked my BUTT!". It was so nice to have that validation from him. He still doesn't feel ready to join me in a real class but I figure if I can get him to practice with me, get him to feel more comfortable with the technique and the choreography, then he will come. Right now it is midnight and he is at the gym with his friend, for a two hour workout. He has been going 5-6 days a week. I mean NIGHTS. They are nuts but like to go when it's almost empty and get their workout in. Whatever works for them!
I am very sore. I will have to lower my weights tomorrow for class, but I am treating it like I am taping, in preparation for Sunday.
Yawn. Off to bed.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The BEST Energy.....
Tonight was, by far, the best class by far. Teaching, I felt was pretty on top. And the energy of the class was definitely over the top. The moat fun. I'm getting to know the participants, they are making eye contact, smiling, grunting and I noticed tonight, several members pushing themselves harder, increasing weights and doing pushups and hovers on their toes - including me!
I felt better tonight, not so foggy although today at work was tough. My patience level was low and we had an interesting lunch meeting with team members not pulling their weight. After school and our grade level meeting, I had BodyPump to look forward to.
Arrived at the gym, had a nice conversation with a participant that is a regular now and found out she is also in education. It's nice to make personal connections with members. She reminded me of me in a way. The previous class ended 4 minutes early which gave me a jump start on my class.
In general, it was just an awesome class. Great members and energy. I'm beginning to feel bonded with this group and now feel a sense that I want to give them more, so I can't wait for the next release. I felt high after class, energized and physically so much better. I challenged the group to do one set of hovers with the pointers on their toes, as I'm working on my own core strength. After audible grumblings from the class, I noticed that a bunch of people did the first set with me! It was tough but I did it and so did they. I'll get there. I also did some push ups on my toes. Each class gets better. I even showed Alexander at home later the hover and we did some together.
I'm not sure what I need to improve yet on my video but I think I know where my weaknesses are so that's where I'm concentrating on moving forward.
Oh, and I got my second paycheck today. This is so cool that I get paid to do something that I find so much fun. Bonus!!
I felt better tonight, not so foggy although today at work was tough. My patience level was low and we had an interesting lunch meeting with team members not pulling their weight. After school and our grade level meeting, I had BodyPump to look forward to.
Arrived at the gym, had a nice conversation with a participant that is a regular now and found out she is also in education. It's nice to make personal connections with members. She reminded me of me in a way. The previous class ended 4 minutes early which gave me a jump start on my class.
In general, it was just an awesome class. Great members and energy. I'm beginning to feel bonded with this group and now feel a sense that I want to give them more, so I can't wait for the next release. I felt high after class, energized and physically so much better. I challenged the group to do one set of hovers with the pointers on their toes, as I'm working on my own core strength. After audible grumblings from the class, I noticed that a bunch of people did the first set with me! It was tough but I did it and so did they. I'll get there. I also did some push ups on my toes. Each class gets better. I even showed Alexander at home later the hover and we did some together.
I'm not sure what I need to improve yet on my video but I think I know where my weaknesses are so that's where I'm concentrating on moving forward.
Oh, and I got my second paycheck today. This is so cool that I get paid to do something that I find so much fun. Bonus!!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Another Almost Useless Day
Not totally. I did make it to my meeting, stayed till lunch and then took off. Tried to nap at home but there were tree trimmers in our complex and they were chopping up branches outside my door so there went nap time. I ended up playing on the new MacBook all the teachers just received and was absolutely useless.
After dinner, dishes, making lunches and packing my gym bag for tomorrow's class, and seeing Franklin off to the gym AGAIN (I think I'm officially a gym widow, as his friend has joined with him and they now make 10:00pm their gym date time)I finally had a bit of time to myself, and what do I do? Practice BodyPump. I'm hopeless. Even more hopeless? Saw another Saturday class come up to sub the day after my birthday. I almost claimed it.....then thought that it would be two weekends in a row with pump on Saturday and Sunday, which don't mind but......well, I didn't claim it yet but it's in San Carlos so I still may. Its not like I'll be out partying on my birthday and then will have to get up early to teach....43 years old. Crap.
Feel like the fog has lifted. I am coughing up something fierce, though, but that is a good thing to get my chest clear. Could use one more day but I need to begin assessing my students and so back to work I go. Tomorrow will be "easy" with library, art, computer lab, early dismissal for the kids even though I have a staff meeting, then my favorite class at 6:30.
Still didn't watch my video again today. I know what I didn't like but have not received feedback from alex so once I do, I can review again and start applying what I need to on Sunday.
Off to bed. Early day tomorrow.....
After dinner, dishes, making lunches and packing my gym bag for tomorrow's class, and seeing Franklin off to the gym AGAIN (I think I'm officially a gym widow, as his friend has joined with him and they now make 10:00pm their gym date time)I finally had a bit of time to myself, and what do I do? Practice BodyPump. I'm hopeless. Even more hopeless? Saw another Saturday class come up to sub the day after my birthday. I almost claimed it.....then thought that it would be two weekends in a row with pump on Saturday and Sunday, which don't mind but......well, I didn't claim it yet but it's in San Carlos so I still may. Its not like I'll be out partying on my birthday and then will have to get up early to teach....43 years old. Crap.
Feel like the fog has lifted. I am coughing up something fierce, though, but that is a good thing to get my chest clear. Could use one more day but I need to begin assessing my students and so back to work I go. Tomorrow will be "easy" with library, art, computer lab, early dismissal for the kids even though I have a staff meeting, then my favorite class at 6:30.
Still didn't watch my video again today. I know what I didn't like but have not received feedback from alex so once I do, I can review again and start applying what I need to on Sunday.
Off to bed. Early day tomorrow.....
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
A First
For me. Teaching while sick. Now, I have done this PLENTY of times, as a school teacher. It takes an enormous amount of work to create sub plans to be out for 7 hours......so at times, you just suck it up and go to work. Well, today I stayed home. After sending the kids off with dad, Cassie throwing a fit because she wanted to stay home with me, I crawled back into bed. From 8 am till 1:45. I have not slept that hard in a LONG time. I must have needed it. Of course, as I sat up, with my head pounding, I could only think, "Damn, where did the day go? I need to do this.....and that......and do this paperwork.....and watch my video again........." and instead what did I do? Grabbed my water, made some soup, curled up under a blanket on my chaise lounge in the living room and watched tv. I even only checked FB maybe twice. I literally did nothing.
As the day quickly wore on, I began to wonder how in the hell I was going to pull it together to teach BodyPump. Wondering how do the others do it? I was thinking that once I was there, the adrenaline would kick in, like it has in the past, and I would be fine. But the pounding in my head wouldn't go away.......popped more Advil, pounded more water, and hoped for the best.
I remembered what Alex said, and walked into the gym with confidence, ready to teach. Janet saw me, knew I was not at school today and asked how I was. My response? "I'm GREAT!" said with as much confidence I could muster. Of course, she knows me well enough to know that I was putting on a show....like Donna suggested, I turned on the Instructor Switch. Let's hope it stays flipped on.
Class went well overall, the faces of the participants are becoming familiar. As a teacher, I have this need to want to know everyone's name and even though I have asked some, for the life of me I can't remember them! There was a guy who came for the first time on Sunday, and we spoke before class and he shared with me that he was still sore, that class kicked his butt! I explained that this class is not like lifting weights on the floor, which he agreed, and he said it was much harder. He struggled a bit during class, actually walked out during squats, and later told me that he bikes to work and didn't want to do more leg work. Then he told me that he can only handle my class once a week. How to respond to that?
It was a totally packed class, 40 or so. We ran out of equipment but I was so out of it that I didn't know till someone told me at the end. I felt okay during class, ears felt weird as I lay down to teach chest, but by lunge time, I was DONE. My bench top kept slipping so halfway through I went to the floor, and I'll be damned, doing the lunges on the floor felt HARDER than on the bench top. Huh???!!! I really don't understand that one. I felt so good during shoulders, though, since I didn't lose any plates this time :)
I did have to cut a bit short.....did all 10 tracks but shortened abs and rushed through the cool down. Don't know why that happened, running short on time, other than that I was moving a bit slower with a foggy head. I'm not beating myself up about it though; I'm just lucky I showed up!!
By the time I left the gym, I was feeling pretty fuzzy, and not in a good way. Head pounding, not much of an appetite. Going to attempt my District meeting tomorrow, with doctor note in hand, to make an appearance and then leave early. I know I won't make it all day, but I feel like showing up, however briefly, is important. Then I'll come home and take a nap.
I will write tomorrow about my video, I watched it last night, saw some things that I am not happy about but hopefully with some additional guidance from Alex, and more practice, one more taping will be all it takes.
Fingers crossed. Eyes crossing too. Off to bed.
As the day quickly wore on, I began to wonder how in the hell I was going to pull it together to teach BodyPump. Wondering how do the others do it? I was thinking that once I was there, the adrenaline would kick in, like it has in the past, and I would be fine. But the pounding in my head wouldn't go away.......popped more Advil, pounded more water, and hoped for the best.
I remembered what Alex said, and walked into the gym with confidence, ready to teach. Janet saw me, knew I was not at school today and asked how I was. My response? "I'm GREAT!" said with as much confidence I could muster. Of course, she knows me well enough to know that I was putting on a show....like Donna suggested, I turned on the Instructor Switch. Let's hope it stays flipped on.
Class went well overall, the faces of the participants are becoming familiar. As a teacher, I have this need to want to know everyone's name and even though I have asked some, for the life of me I can't remember them! There was a guy who came for the first time on Sunday, and we spoke before class and he shared with me that he was still sore, that class kicked his butt! I explained that this class is not like lifting weights on the floor, which he agreed, and he said it was much harder. He struggled a bit during class, actually walked out during squats, and later told me that he bikes to work and didn't want to do more leg work. Then he told me that he can only handle my class once a week. How to respond to that?
It was a totally packed class, 40 or so. We ran out of equipment but I was so out of it that I didn't know till someone told me at the end. I felt okay during class, ears felt weird as I lay down to teach chest, but by lunge time, I was DONE. My bench top kept slipping so halfway through I went to the floor, and I'll be damned, doing the lunges on the floor felt HARDER than on the bench top. Huh???!!! I really don't understand that one. I felt so good during shoulders, though, since I didn't lose any plates this time :)
I did have to cut a bit short.....did all 10 tracks but shortened abs and rushed through the cool down. Don't know why that happened, running short on time, other than that I was moving a bit slower with a foggy head. I'm not beating myself up about it though; I'm just lucky I showed up!!
By the time I left the gym, I was feeling pretty fuzzy, and not in a good way. Head pounding, not much of an appetite. Going to attempt my District meeting tomorrow, with doctor note in hand, to make an appearance and then leave early. I know I won't make it all day, but I feel like showing up, however briefly, is important. Then I'll come home and take a nap.
I will write tomorrow about my video, I watched it last night, saw some things that I am not happy about but hopefully with some additional guidance from Alex, and more practice, one more taping will be all it takes.
Fingers crossed. Eyes crossing too. Off to bed.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sidelined For a Bit......
Just a bit. Spent the day at school feeling crappy and decided first thing that I was NOT going to go to work tomorrow. Since I have a District wide Kindergarten training day on Wednesday, I had to do 2 days worth of plans so it took twice as long. This is why many teachers just continue to work while sick - you cannot just call in and let work sit until you return, like I used to do in the corporate world. It is more work, most of the time, to create sub plans and prepare for it than to just go and work yourself. But I have learned.....it ain't worth it.
So I have two days covered....one personal sick day and one district day....and went to the doctor this afternoon. I normally would not go this early in a sickness but because of the walking pneumonia I had almost a year and a half ago, keeping me home for 6 days and weak for 2 months (it was October, and by that December, that was when I went back to BodyPump and in January, added BodyCombat and the rest is LM history for me!!!) I have gotten to know my body pretty well and knew that this was about to develop into something more if I didn't address it. I am not a "I'm sick! Give me Antibiotics NOW!!" kind of person. In fact, the doctor, before examining me, said to just let it ride with OTC meds for 24 hours and if I don't get better, then I would do the antibiotics. Well, she looked into one ear (the one that felt funny yesterday) and saw fluid, then the other ear, which was worse - no infection but lots of fluid. My chest sounded clear, thank goodness, but my throat was red but not swollen. Even with Alexander in the house with Strep, I was okay there. In the end, because of what I am coughing up (ICK) and my ears, she put me on the meds starting today.
She also told me to stay home and rest, which I already was, but when I told her I am now a Group X instructor, she told me to take it off. I explained to her I had to teach tomorrow, and it's not cardio, but strength training, so she said I could teach as long as I go down on my weights, drink lots of fluid and not overdo it. If I'm feeling better Thursday, business as usual. Phew.
I reminded her I had a complete blood work up done in October but she never called me with the results so she looked them up. Good and not so good news. My cholesterol is great, kidneys and liver function good, lipids, all good. No risk of diabetes, my thyroid levels are all good (YAYAYAYAYAYAY, since it has been 2 years since I had my thyroid levels checked but all is normal - yay remission!!).
But......my red blood cells are low. From August's test they were low, then compared to October, they went down a bit more. So it appears I am anemic. I had some issues with my cycle over the summer, could be the training for the 1/2 marathon, all the exercise, pre-menopause....who knows. But everything has been fine all through the Fall. So I will go have another blood test this Friday to re-check. I am bumping up my iron rich foods this week, and if I need to take a supplement, I will. I am hoping that's all I need to do.
I talked to her about all the exercise I'm doing. She said not to worry, keep it up, just take it easy while I am sick.
The worst part??!!! The nurse weighed me before the visit.............I GAINED 4 FREAKING POUNDS!!!! UGH!!!!! Ok, I'm done. Yes, I know it's that time of the month, plus I ate a donut yesterday, I admit it. Oh, and two chocolates at school today. So it's either that or all the BP I'm doing, building more muscle. My clothes feel the same, so that's good. Stupid doctor scale. I haven't weighed at home since my scale's batteries died and I haven't replaced it. Now for sure I won't. Ugh.
So excited....my friend Christelle read my blog yesterday and suggested I buy my own set of weight plates with hand grips so the shoulder thing doesn't happen again. So after the doctor, off to Big 5 I went, had to go to 2 different ones but I am now the proud owner of my own set of 5 lb plates and I will never have to adjust for slippage again!! Yippee Christelle!!
Got a call from my General Manager at the gym today...asking if I could sub for Rosa in San Mateo at 6:30 because she had to pull her to go to San Jose to cover for someone else......I cannot TELL you how tempted I was to say yes, hated saying no, but explained to her my dilemma being sick and that I am taking tomorrow off to rest so I CAN sub tomorrow.....and had to decline. She said it was fine, and I told her normally I would be all over it. Oh well. Actually kinda proud of myself for saying no. Cause I really wanted to say yes. I MUST be sick. :-//
Alex sent me the video from yesterday. Haven't had time to watch yet, but I have ALL day tomorrow to watch, critique, obsess, whatever, over it. It's gotta be more entertaining than daytime television. He won't share if he's watched yet or not, the brat......so it's up to me to see what I think about it. At least I am not freaked out about watching it.....that was last week :-/
I just don't know if I have the energy tonight.....Cassie asked if she could stay home tomorrow and sleep with me....yeah, right, kid. She didn't let me take a nap yesterday....Love her but she is not a "rest and cuddle" type of girl......I am hoping tomorrow I can actually REST and sit and not do one of a million things that need to be done around the house.....Franklin is taking both kids to school so even though I have to wake up early, wake all of them up and get them out of the house....I get to go back to bed.....aaahhhh.....
Maybe I should be tied up. Or down. ;-)
So I have two days covered....one personal sick day and one district day....and went to the doctor this afternoon. I normally would not go this early in a sickness but because of the walking pneumonia I had almost a year and a half ago, keeping me home for 6 days and weak for 2 months (it was October, and by that December, that was when I went back to BodyPump and in January, added BodyCombat and the rest is LM history for me!!!) I have gotten to know my body pretty well and knew that this was about to develop into something more if I didn't address it. I am not a "I'm sick! Give me Antibiotics NOW!!" kind of person. In fact, the doctor, before examining me, said to just let it ride with OTC meds for 24 hours and if I don't get better, then I would do the antibiotics. Well, she looked into one ear (the one that felt funny yesterday) and saw fluid, then the other ear, which was worse - no infection but lots of fluid. My chest sounded clear, thank goodness, but my throat was red but not swollen. Even with Alexander in the house with Strep, I was okay there. In the end, because of what I am coughing up (ICK) and my ears, she put me on the meds starting today.
She also told me to stay home and rest, which I already was, but when I told her I am now a Group X instructor, she told me to take it off. I explained to her I had to teach tomorrow, and it's not cardio, but strength training, so she said I could teach as long as I go down on my weights, drink lots of fluid and not overdo it. If I'm feeling better Thursday, business as usual. Phew.
I reminded her I had a complete blood work up done in October but she never called me with the results so she looked them up. Good and not so good news. My cholesterol is great, kidneys and liver function good, lipids, all good. No risk of diabetes, my thyroid levels are all good (YAYAYAYAYAYAY, since it has been 2 years since I had my thyroid levels checked but all is normal - yay remission!!).
But......my red blood cells are low. From August's test they were low, then compared to October, they went down a bit more. So it appears I am anemic. I had some issues with my cycle over the summer, could be the training for the 1/2 marathon, all the exercise, pre-menopause....who knows. But everything has been fine all through the Fall. So I will go have another blood test this Friday to re-check. I am bumping up my iron rich foods this week, and if I need to take a supplement, I will. I am hoping that's all I need to do.
I talked to her about all the exercise I'm doing. She said not to worry, keep it up, just take it easy while I am sick.
The worst part??!!! The nurse weighed me before the visit.............I GAINED 4 FREAKING POUNDS!!!! UGH!!!!! Ok, I'm done. Yes, I know it's that time of the month, plus I ate a donut yesterday, I admit it. Oh, and two chocolates at school today. So it's either that or all the BP I'm doing, building more muscle. My clothes feel the same, so that's good. Stupid doctor scale. I haven't weighed at home since my scale's batteries died and I haven't replaced it. Now for sure I won't. Ugh.
So excited....my friend Christelle read my blog yesterday and suggested I buy my own set of weight plates with hand grips so the shoulder thing doesn't happen again. So after the doctor, off to Big 5 I went, had to go to 2 different ones but I am now the proud owner of my own set of 5 lb plates and I will never have to adjust for slippage again!! Yippee Christelle!!
Got a call from my General Manager at the gym today...asking if I could sub for Rosa in San Mateo at 6:30 because she had to pull her to go to San Jose to cover for someone else......I cannot TELL you how tempted I was to say yes, hated saying no, but explained to her my dilemma being sick and that I am taking tomorrow off to rest so I CAN sub tomorrow.....and had to decline. She said it was fine, and I told her normally I would be all over it. Oh well. Actually kinda proud of myself for saying no. Cause I really wanted to say yes. I MUST be sick. :-//
Alex sent me the video from yesterday. Haven't had time to watch yet, but I have ALL day tomorrow to watch, critique, obsess, whatever, over it. It's gotta be more entertaining than daytime television. He won't share if he's watched yet or not, the brat......so it's up to me to see what I think about it. At least I am not freaked out about watching it.....that was last week :-/
I just don't know if I have the energy tonight.....Cassie asked if she could stay home tomorrow and sleep with me....yeah, right, kid. She didn't let me take a nap yesterday....Love her but she is not a "rest and cuddle" type of girl......I am hoping tomorrow I can actually REST and sit and not do one of a million things that need to be done around the house.....Franklin is taking both kids to school so even though I have to wake up early, wake all of them up and get them out of the house....I get to go back to bed.....aaahhhh.....
Maybe I should be tied up. Or down. ;-)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Taping #2 DONE
How will it look? No clue. I do know it went well overall. Janet told me it was the best class I've taught by far. I think I agree with her, in terms of confidence, coaching and motivating. Alex said the coaching was better and my voice carried much better over the microphone. Of course, there were some bloops.
After spending the early morning hours feeling anxious about coaching and motivating, I slept a bit more and was able to wake up, eat and get ready without incident. However, as Franklin was driving me to the gym, I was fidgety and nervous again. I did feel better once I got to the gym and met up with the gang before class. Alex showed up and set up as I was setting up, then called me to the back of the room to privately tell me a couple of pointers and to let me know he would be stepping out and would leave the camera. So there wouldn't be the watchful eyes like last time. My anxiety level dropped right there. He explained to the class that he was there helping me and then had me do the intro over again and started the filming and left.
Overall, I think it was a great class. I set my bench and weights up in a more organized fashion, but next time will place all the weights in a pile because I find myself reaching and scrambling a bit to change weights. Alex's suggestions for organization and keeping those transitions rapid fire are really helping to move the class along. Again today I finished in under an hour. I went up on the weights as suggested, as I have been doing the last two classes. Triceps were a KILLER because I went up to a medium plate (which is 5 or 6 lbs, can't remember) and the tricep pushups.....well I did a couple on my toes but let's be real here. I have to keep training because I just don't seem to have the upper body strength to do pushups on my toes. Wimp.
Back track - check. Biceps - caught myself tapping my toes inside my shoes once and promptly stopped. Got the mid-range pulse down, lower than my chest this time. Lunges even went pretty well. I added a plate.....which is a first. Just one, though. With my foot on the bench. I'm getting there!
Where I blew it......shoulders. The problem? Because I had to go up in weights, I went to the medium ones. Which would have been ok but I was tired, sweaty and during the side raises or the alt mac raises, or both, I can't remember, the weights began to slip and I had to re-adjust. These weights have only a hole in the center and are pretty impossible for someone with small hands to grip. I have no idea how that will look in the video but Alex says that I just have to explain on the assessment form that I turn in with the video what happened during that track. I hope it is that simple. I'm just afraid my form suffered because of it so I hope it came out okay. The hover with the pointer, didn't do all on my toes, only a couple so I hope that's okay. I know people have had to tape up to 5 times but I REALLY hope it doesn't come down to that.
After class, Alex and I went for lunch, coffee and plant shopping (for him because I kill plants unintentionally). He will look at the video later and give me feedback but wants to hear from me first what I think about the class. ????? What???? I need to know what HE thinks because I don't know if it will be good enough to submit. However, I understand that I need to take ownership of my class, be able to critique myself and objectively look at it to see if I think I hit all the compulsory cues, coaching, chorey, etc. I'm pretty sure I can do that this time without too much whining!! He did tell me that since he spent the class time out of the room he wanted to see if I was projecting my voice and he was able to hear me much better than last week. The mic guard made a big difference in the audio quality, plus I paid attention to how I projected my voice in general. It will be interesting to hear myself on the video. I have a bit of a cough and was just praying that I would not have to cough during the video. For the most part I held it in!
Spent time with Cassie at the park while Alexander was working with his trainer and it felt SO good to be in the sun. I wasn't feeling great today, just really tired and kind of blah. Well, by now, almost 8:00 pm, I am officially feeling crappy. My head is pounding and I just want to go to sleep. Now I know why I felt off today. I refuse to get sick; too much to do this week. I'm subbing Tuesday for Rosa, teach Thursday and Sunday, have a District Kindergarten day and I will be out of the classroom yet again. I cannot afford to take a day off but I think a trip to the doctor may be in order, as I have a bit of a cough, can feel it in my chest and with my history last year of pneumonia, I want to nip it in the bud. Overall, though, I think with getting healthier and exercising, my immune system has gotten stronger so I have been able to fight illnesses much better over the last year. Many people have been sick around me, and even if I get a touch of a cold, it goes away quickly and I don't contract it to the same degree as others. I just hope this one goes quickly because this is the worst I have felt in a long time. I am hoping it's the lack of sleep last night, and the residual emotional stress of the last week. My voice is now hoarse and will make for fun tomorrow in class :(
Hope to crawl into bed early tonight.......but the guys are not home from a Superbowl party yet and Cassie did not let me take a nap this afternoon. If I feel this bad tomorrow, then it's sub plans and a day at home for me on Tuesday so I can rest up to teach that night.
Sigh.
After spending the early morning hours feeling anxious about coaching and motivating, I slept a bit more and was able to wake up, eat and get ready without incident. However, as Franklin was driving me to the gym, I was fidgety and nervous again. I did feel better once I got to the gym and met up with the gang before class. Alex showed up and set up as I was setting up, then called me to the back of the room to privately tell me a couple of pointers and to let me know he would be stepping out and would leave the camera. So there wouldn't be the watchful eyes like last time. My anxiety level dropped right there. He explained to the class that he was there helping me and then had me do the intro over again and started the filming and left.
Overall, I think it was a great class. I set my bench and weights up in a more organized fashion, but next time will place all the weights in a pile because I find myself reaching and scrambling a bit to change weights. Alex's suggestions for organization and keeping those transitions rapid fire are really helping to move the class along. Again today I finished in under an hour. I went up on the weights as suggested, as I have been doing the last two classes. Triceps were a KILLER because I went up to a medium plate (which is 5 or 6 lbs, can't remember) and the tricep pushups.....well I did a couple on my toes but let's be real here. I have to keep training because I just don't seem to have the upper body strength to do pushups on my toes. Wimp.
Back track - check. Biceps - caught myself tapping my toes inside my shoes once and promptly stopped. Got the mid-range pulse down, lower than my chest this time. Lunges even went pretty well. I added a plate.....which is a first. Just one, though. With my foot on the bench. I'm getting there!
Where I blew it......shoulders. The problem? Because I had to go up in weights, I went to the medium ones. Which would have been ok but I was tired, sweaty and during the side raises or the alt mac raises, or both, I can't remember, the weights began to slip and I had to re-adjust. These weights have only a hole in the center and are pretty impossible for someone with small hands to grip. I have no idea how that will look in the video but Alex says that I just have to explain on the assessment form that I turn in with the video what happened during that track. I hope it is that simple. I'm just afraid my form suffered because of it so I hope it came out okay. The hover with the pointer, didn't do all on my toes, only a couple so I hope that's okay. I know people have had to tape up to 5 times but I REALLY hope it doesn't come down to that.
After class, Alex and I went for lunch, coffee and plant shopping (for him because I kill plants unintentionally). He will look at the video later and give me feedback but wants to hear from me first what I think about the class. ????? What???? I need to know what HE thinks because I don't know if it will be good enough to submit. However, I understand that I need to take ownership of my class, be able to critique myself and objectively look at it to see if I think I hit all the compulsory cues, coaching, chorey, etc. I'm pretty sure I can do that this time without too much whining!! He did tell me that since he spent the class time out of the room he wanted to see if I was projecting my voice and he was able to hear me much better than last week. The mic guard made a big difference in the audio quality, plus I paid attention to how I projected my voice in general. It will be interesting to hear myself on the video. I have a bit of a cough and was just praying that I would not have to cough during the video. For the most part I held it in!
Spent time with Cassie at the park while Alexander was working with his trainer and it felt SO good to be in the sun. I wasn't feeling great today, just really tired and kind of blah. Well, by now, almost 8:00 pm, I am officially feeling crappy. My head is pounding and I just want to go to sleep. Now I know why I felt off today. I refuse to get sick; too much to do this week. I'm subbing Tuesday for Rosa, teach Thursday and Sunday, have a District Kindergarten day and I will be out of the classroom yet again. I cannot afford to take a day off but I think a trip to the doctor may be in order, as I have a bit of a cough, can feel it in my chest and with my history last year of pneumonia, I want to nip it in the bud. Overall, though, I think with getting healthier and exercising, my immune system has gotten stronger so I have been able to fight illnesses much better over the last year. Many people have been sick around me, and even if I get a touch of a cold, it goes away quickly and I don't contract it to the same degree as others. I just hope this one goes quickly because this is the worst I have felt in a long time. I am hoping it's the lack of sleep last night, and the residual emotional stress of the last week. My voice is now hoarse and will make for fun tomorrow in class :(
Hope to crawl into bed early tonight.......but the guys are not home from a Superbowl party yet and Cassie did not let me take a nap this afternoon. If I feel this bad tomorrow, then it's sub plans and a day at home for me on Tuesday so I can rest up to teach that night.
Sigh.
Anxious
Sigh. It's almost 6:30am and I have been awake, laying in bed, since 5:00, not able to fully go back to sleep. Keep thinking about the taping today, my cueing, how FLAT I sounded in my video and wanting to put some energy into it without sounding false and ridiculous. It's funny because I really thought after seeing my video the other day that I was over the anxiousness that I felt last Sunday. Now that I know what I need to work on, I truly felt ready to apply the feedback and do it better. I did do it, on Tuesday and Thursday. So why is it that I think it will be different today?
Of course, there's always the fact that I will be filmed that raises the level of anxiety a bit. I know that I won't have the same qualms about watching it as I did last week. This has been such an emotional rollercoaster week for me and I think that contributes to how I am feeling right now. Plus, Alexander has had strep, I'm feeling exhausted, haven't had a working washer and dryer, testing coming up in school.....lots of other stressors happening around me that I have no control over and I tend to feel overwhelmed when that happens.
I need to nail a video down so that I can send it in and feel like I've accomplished and completed something. I just don't know how many more times it's going to take before Alex feels like it's acceptable to submit. Then I can focus on all the other stuff happening and get through it. Not that sending in the video means I am done; I just mean that pressure can be lifted, I can have fun just teaching my classes, and I can put some energy into school and getting ready for report card time yet again.
I'm going to watch the DVD one more time again now and try to get some inspiration and motivation from them to add to my class. It's so hard, though, to want to turn up the energy but feel like it's false or over the top because my class is so damned quiet......thank goodness for Stephanie and the others who will respond when I ask....I just remember how vocal we all were for Alex and Kimi's classes and wonder what it is.....is it me? The group? They are all too new to BP and don't know we like to Turn it UP? Sigh. Maybe in time, as I get more confident, they will too.
Yesterday marked 2 months since this part of my journey began. December 5, passed the BodyPump module, and then freight train speed ahead......practicing and learning choreography, auditioning and getting hired by 24Hour Fitness, getting not one but two classes in less than a week, the launch, teaching, taping. When I stop and think about where I was a mere 2 months ago, and where I am today.....it never fails to boggle my mind. So I know I need to cut myself some slack. Give myself a break. It is happening SO fast......and I am able to enjoy it, but I need to keep in mind......I am in this for FUN. Not for the money. Although I did get my first ever paycheck last week. Remembered that, oh yeah, I get paid for this, and had to ask for my check. Turned out we had gotten paid a week before that......maybe I should just get direct deposit so I don't forget. I truly am doing this because I love it. The money is a bonus. I have to really try to learn patience. Rome wasn't built in a day. I am not going to be built in a couple of months. It will take time, experience, feedback, practice, time, time time and I WILL get there. It's just my nature to want to get there NOW.
Gonna try to sleep a bit more....but keeping the laptop close by in case I just need to watch the DVD instead.
Wish me luck.
Of course, there's always the fact that I will be filmed that raises the level of anxiety a bit. I know that I won't have the same qualms about watching it as I did last week. This has been such an emotional rollercoaster week for me and I think that contributes to how I am feeling right now. Plus, Alexander has had strep, I'm feeling exhausted, haven't had a working washer and dryer, testing coming up in school.....lots of other stressors happening around me that I have no control over and I tend to feel overwhelmed when that happens.
I need to nail a video down so that I can send it in and feel like I've accomplished and completed something. I just don't know how many more times it's going to take before Alex feels like it's acceptable to submit. Then I can focus on all the other stuff happening and get through it. Not that sending in the video means I am done; I just mean that pressure can be lifted, I can have fun just teaching my classes, and I can put some energy into school and getting ready for report card time yet again.
I'm going to watch the DVD one more time again now and try to get some inspiration and motivation from them to add to my class. It's so hard, though, to want to turn up the energy but feel like it's false or over the top because my class is so damned quiet......thank goodness for Stephanie and the others who will respond when I ask....I just remember how vocal we all were for Alex and Kimi's classes and wonder what it is.....is it me? The group? They are all too new to BP and don't know we like to Turn it UP? Sigh. Maybe in time, as I get more confident, they will too.
Yesterday marked 2 months since this part of my journey began. December 5, passed the BodyPump module, and then freight train speed ahead......practicing and learning choreography, auditioning and getting hired by 24Hour Fitness, getting not one but two classes in less than a week, the launch, teaching, taping. When I stop and think about where I was a mere 2 months ago, and where I am today.....it never fails to boggle my mind. So I know I need to cut myself some slack. Give myself a break. It is happening SO fast......and I am able to enjoy it, but I need to keep in mind......I am in this for FUN. Not for the money. Although I did get my first ever paycheck last week. Remembered that, oh yeah, I get paid for this, and had to ask for my check. Turned out we had gotten paid a week before that......maybe I should just get direct deposit so I don't forget. I truly am doing this because I love it. The money is a bonus. I have to really try to learn patience. Rome wasn't built in a day. I am not going to be built in a couple of months. It will take time, experience, feedback, practice, time, time time and I WILL get there. It's just my nature to want to get there NOW.
Gonna try to sleep a bit more....but keeping the laptop close by in case I just need to watch the DVD instead.
Wish me luck.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Deflated
I was flying high tonight. WAS. I had a great class, although smaller than the last. Got all the tracks in again! Felt like I had hit my groove and was figuring out this timing thing.
Then Julie, a long time participant who has been sick for the last week and a half, came to me after class and said "Kristy, I know I haven't been here in a week and a half or so, but (and here I thought she was going to say something like she really felt it, it was hard, something like that and instead she said) it was like you were a different person! You have improved so much it's like you have been teaching this forever! You are so much more confident!"
I hugged her. She totally made my night. It meant so much to hear that.
And now, for reasons I can't get into, I am feeling a bit like back at square one. Not totally, but feeling a bit defeated and like I have a mountain to climb instead of a hill. I have no more classes to teach to prepare for this Sunday's taping, and I can feel my stress starting to rise. I know it's partly hormonal and I need to get over myself and just do what I need to do to perfect this taping. But the emotional, irrational part of me feels like I don't really know what I am doing. I felt good after watching my video last night, felt like I knew what needed to be corrected and that I have been doing that. It took me 3 days to process Alex's suggestions. And now I feel like I have even more to worry about. I know it's ridiculous, but you can't control emotions so I guess I just need to let the feelings take over me, hopefully sleep on it and tomorrow's another day.
Sigh. I hate being an emotional woman sometimes. Pisses me off to no end.
Then Julie, a long time participant who has been sick for the last week and a half, came to me after class and said "Kristy, I know I haven't been here in a week and a half or so, but (and here I thought she was going to say something like she really felt it, it was hard, something like that and instead she said) it was like you were a different person! You have improved so much it's like you have been teaching this forever! You are so much more confident!"
I hugged her. She totally made my night. It meant so much to hear that.
And now, for reasons I can't get into, I am feeling a bit like back at square one. Not totally, but feeling a bit defeated and like I have a mountain to climb instead of a hill. I have no more classes to teach to prepare for this Sunday's taping, and I can feel my stress starting to rise. I know it's partly hormonal and I need to get over myself and just do what I need to do to perfect this taping. But the emotional, irrational part of me feels like I don't really know what I am doing. I felt good after watching my video last night, felt like I knew what needed to be corrected and that I have been doing that. It took me 3 days to process Alex's suggestions. And now I feel like I have even more to worry about. I know it's ridiculous, but you can't control emotions so I guess I just need to let the feelings take over me, hopefully sleep on it and tomorrow's another day.
Sigh. I hate being an emotional woman sometimes. Pisses me off to no end.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Getting Over It
Sigh. I need to learn how to trust. I am now in possession of my very first BodyPump class video, since last night and have been unable to look at it. Freaked all day at the thought if watching it, looking at myself, listening to me teach. The thought made me sick to my stomach.
Guys don't really get it. Not really. Sorry. How can they? Women understand. There's no way a woman can look at herself in a video and NOT find something about herself to criticize. At least I haven't met one who could.
Well, tonight I bit the proverbial bullet and pushed play. After spending the first two minutes watching through my hands like I was watching a horror movie, Cassie walked over and said,"You look really good Mommy!" and I put my hands down and started watching. And watching.
I have in my hands a list of things Alex saw and the suggestions he had for improvement. Little things, but by god as I'm watching, it's like a switch turned on inside of me and I went from "oh look at how fat I look" to almost an impartial observer who could literally see all the pointers Alex was talking about. It was the WEIRDEST THING. I had not expected to be able to look objectively at myself. And sure, I still picked up on the fact that my boobs sag and I turn away from the camera in between tracks to turn off the music and Hullo Hullo BUTT, right in the camera, but really, I was able to see, notice, observe and completely, 100% agree with everything Alex said. This is why I adore this man and our friendship. He sees things that I don't see in myself and forces me to see them, to which I respond accordingly and make adjustments. Really, last night's class was way better than this video from 3 days ago. I get it.
Now I can't wait to tape again Sunday so I can show him, and myself, that I DO listen.....I just have to make a fuss first. It's just my way.
Guys don't really get it. Not really. Sorry. How can they? Women understand. There's no way a woman can look at herself in a video and NOT find something about herself to criticize. At least I haven't met one who could.
Well, tonight I bit the proverbial bullet and pushed play. After spending the first two minutes watching through my hands like I was watching a horror movie, Cassie walked over and said,"You look really good Mommy!" and I put my hands down and started watching. And watching.
I have in my hands a list of things Alex saw and the suggestions he had for improvement. Little things, but by god as I'm watching, it's like a switch turned on inside of me and I went from "oh look at how fat I look" to almost an impartial observer who could literally see all the pointers Alex was talking about. It was the WEIRDEST THING. I had not expected to be able to look objectively at myself. And sure, I still picked up on the fact that my boobs sag and I turn away from the camera in between tracks to turn off the music and Hullo Hullo BUTT, right in the camera, but really, I was able to see, notice, observe and completely, 100% agree with everything Alex said. This is why I adore this man and our friendship. He sees things that I don't see in myself and forces me to see them, to which I respond accordingly and make adjustments. Really, last night's class was way better than this video from 3 days ago. I get it.
Now I can't wait to tape again Sunday so I can show him, and myself, that I DO listen.....I just have to make a fuss first. It's just my way.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I DID IT!!!!! FINALLY!!!!
Class # 8. Done. What did I do?
Well, I finally got in ALL 10 TRACKS and was finished ON TIME!!! And it wasn't a Sunday when no class follows me! YIPPEE!!! What did I do differently that I haven't been able to manage before?
I probably have to give credit to the fact that I sipped my water WAY faster. Hee Hee. Good thing I had my wallet with me to buy one as I forgot my water in the car and since I parked 264 miles away there was no way I was going back to get it.
Okay, it wasn't only that. I got in quickly, set up, watched as the instructor before me dried off the entire microphone (okay, I simply cannot WAIT to receive the microphone guards this week - EW) and did the intro and explained that we would move quickly between because I wanted to stay on time. Maybe putting that expectation out front and out loud helped.
Sure, there were a couple of chorey bloops. I find this interesting because I have gone over the chorey in this release 98364743 times and still I blow it at times. Not big, but enough that I notice.
Transitions were rapid fire. Or so it felt like to me. I forgot to demo the hover with planks but did everything else. I upped my weights on all tracks and only didn't go as high as I needed to on back because after demo-ing the clean and press I knew I wouldn't be able to finish it. But I did go higher. Did all the lunges on the bench top, even with my hamstrings screaming at me. My shoulders, as I kept checking in the side mirror, stayed back most of the time. It was a conscious effort, though. Did a COUPLE of pushups on my toes and a couple of hovers on my toes. Not as much as I am supposed to but it was an improvement.
Finished on time. WOW. Okay, I did cut the cooldown by about 10-15 seconds at the most. By the time we cleaned up and walked to the lobby it was 7:33. I had a couple of people (not the usual gang but a regular participant) congratulate me on getting all the tracks in!
Deb and Kristin and Janet did not feel like I rushed through. So I guess the lesson learned here is to keep it going, no dilly-dallying, sip faster and move it along. People kept up for the most part. It felt rushed to me but it is nice to know it did not feel rushed to them.
Aaahhh. I feel good. I feel like I earned this second massage I scheduled for me tomorrow. I plan on doing this again on Thursday. ALL 10 tracks. I'm in heaven :-) I feel successful. Like I finally did my job, what I am supposed to do. I proved to myself that it can be done. That I am not a failure for cutting tracks.
Feels damn good. Now for a shower and some towel work.
Well, I finally got in ALL 10 TRACKS and was finished ON TIME!!! And it wasn't a Sunday when no class follows me! YIPPEE!!! What did I do differently that I haven't been able to manage before?
I probably have to give credit to the fact that I sipped my water WAY faster. Hee Hee. Good thing I had my wallet with me to buy one as I forgot my water in the car and since I parked 264 miles away there was no way I was going back to get it.
Okay, it wasn't only that. I got in quickly, set up, watched as the instructor before me dried off the entire microphone (okay, I simply cannot WAIT to receive the microphone guards this week - EW) and did the intro and explained that we would move quickly between because I wanted to stay on time. Maybe putting that expectation out front and out loud helped.
Sure, there were a couple of chorey bloops. I find this interesting because I have gone over the chorey in this release 98364743 times and still I blow it at times. Not big, but enough that I notice.
Transitions were rapid fire. Or so it felt like to me. I forgot to demo the hover with planks but did everything else. I upped my weights on all tracks and only didn't go as high as I needed to on back because after demo-ing the clean and press I knew I wouldn't be able to finish it. But I did go higher. Did all the lunges on the bench top, even with my hamstrings screaming at me. My shoulders, as I kept checking in the side mirror, stayed back most of the time. It was a conscious effort, though. Did a COUPLE of pushups on my toes and a couple of hovers on my toes. Not as much as I am supposed to but it was an improvement.
Finished on time. WOW. Okay, I did cut the cooldown by about 10-15 seconds at the most. By the time we cleaned up and walked to the lobby it was 7:33. I had a couple of people (not the usual gang but a regular participant) congratulate me on getting all the tracks in!
Deb and Kristin and Janet did not feel like I rushed through. So I guess the lesson learned here is to keep it going, no dilly-dallying, sip faster and move it along. People kept up for the most part. It felt rushed to me but it is nice to know it did not feel rushed to them.
Aaahhh. I feel good. I feel like I earned this second massage I scheduled for me tomorrow. I plan on doing this again on Thursday. ALL 10 tracks. I'm in heaven :-) I feel successful. Like I finally did my job, what I am supposed to do. I proved to myself that it can be done. That I am not a failure for cutting tracks.
Feels damn good. Now for a shower and some towel work.
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