It Is What It Is

Whatever will be, will be. I've procrastinated, stressed, cursed, worried, and ultimately studied my heart out. My head is ready to explode and as I sat down tonight to do more review (after the gym, store, dinner, shower, hand painting Christmas gifts, homework -Cassie's, not mine- dishes, certification workshop info digging, printing receipts, etc. etc.) I realized I was done. Spent. I'm so exhausted from the last few weeks of school, teaching, and other stresses that I don't know what more I can do. I was reading on line just now the practical part of the exam and it worries me more than the written one. I know how to cue and teach. But to do it OUTSIDE a BodyPump setting worries me. I won't know the music, I won't know what sequence to teach, it has to be a flexibility, strength or cardio sequence showing options of intensity. I can do this in a BP class. I hope I can do it outside of one. Sigh.

Tonight's class was schizophrenic. Literally. The warmup was fine, I am doing the same playlist as last week just because I cannot review chorey right now with this exam. I will change for Sunday but once I hit squats...the iPod started acting up. Music volume going up and down, static, and I though the iPod was dying. For chest, it did the same thing so I switched to my iPhone for back. Did the same thing. Not only was the volume going in and out, the bass was so prevalent that it was just bizarre trying to teach to it. During triceps, it was like it was a differerent song, more than one layered on top of the other, and just sounded horrible. It's a good thing I know my choreography because that's what saved me. I just kept going. It was intensely frustrating because never before tonight did it really hit me how critical the music is to BodyPump. It felt like an utter failure of a class to me because it was NOT, to me, the kind of class I would have enjoyed. Yes, I apologized, profusely, throughout the class. I know I had no control over it, and I've taught with no mic before, but no music? It just was not okay.

The ultimate surprise to me? The number of people that came to me after and said despite the psycho music, it was still a great class. A couple commented on how much easier it was to hear my instructions. Huh? I'm constantly reminded how it's not about ME, it's about my participants. While tonight's class was NOT a success for me, for my members, they understood and still got a good workout. They didn't hold it against me. People that are regulars but ive never connected with made a point to tell me it was a good class. Maybe it was my sense of humor that came through the utter frustration. I think the stereo was having issues and I hope they fix it by Sunday or I'll go ballistic.

Sigh.