I have so much running through my head right now that I don't think I have the time or the brain power to put it all down. It's been an incredibly emotional roller coaster this past month.....good times.....not so good times......things that should be written down for posterity.....things that should be kept private. I'm not so good at the private things.....I'm the kind of person who needs to get things out. I literally explode at the seams and am not good at keeping things in. I need to talk it out, whether it's something I'm feeling, something I'm going through, or something I need/want/have to do. This could be a good thing, or it could be a bad thing. I've always thought it better to share, either to someone or written out in a journal. This blog has become my personal journal in so many ways, documenting my thoughts and dreams and experiences on this long journey that has become my life.
I have to say December has been a very busy month, with too many things to do, and way too many distractions. I look at the clock right now - 10:20 on the last day of the year - and not only do I wonder where this month went, but I wonder where this year went. I think back to where I was last NYE - in fact I just read my blog from that day. Not only did I document the incredible year I had in 2010, but I reflected on the past decade. This year has been no less incredible in my journey to a better me. 2010 was the year it all STUCK. The year it all MADE SENSE. It was a year of growth, and discovery.
Exactly a year ago today, I became an official 24 Hour Fitness employee. It was incredibly humbling and exciting to think that I was about to be a BodyPump instructor. Here is what I wrote in that blog one year ago:
"It is so exciting to me to think about 2011. The first year of the second decade of the new millennium. Okay, whatever. It's a new year, and for the first time in my life, probably, I am really, truly certain that this year is going to be phenomenal. I'm always hopeful, always wish that the next year will be better than the last. But for the first time, I feel it in my gut. I can't help but be absolutely certain that it will be because I have witnessed a year that exceeded my wildest dreams."
"I am a lucky woman, but also one that has rediscovered that I am not afraid of hard work, not afraid of putting myself out there. The only thing getting in the way was me, and I am not afraid anymore. Yes, I have frequent freak out moments. But I find it works for me. I need to voice the fear, feel reassurance, then face it head on and plow right through it. It takes hard work, consistency, drive, dedication, determination, blood, sweat, tears, laughter, teasing, embarrassment, pain, pain and more pain, but a whole lot of FUN FUN FUN. I don't think, looking back at the year, that I would trade any bit of what I went through. I don't think I would change or alter any of my experiences."
"I am hopeful, excited, thankful, grateful for every person I have met, for every sore muscle I have had, for every tear I have shed. I am alive, I am loved, and I love."
It brings tears to my eyes to read my words, my sense of passion and determination. I feel no less at this moment. This year, 2011, truly WAS all those things above. This year WAS better than the last. It was the year that I truly put myself out there, as an instructor, a teacher, a mentor. I made so many mistakes, made so many bloopers, cried a ton of tears, stuck my foot in my mouth countless times, laughed at myself, kicked myself, tore some hair out, scratched my eyeballs out and then put them back, had others kick the crap out of me......and I am still standing. I am a better person for it, a better instructor. The incredible growth I have experienced in 12 short months ASTOUNDS me. Truly. I still have a long way to go to be the kind of instructor I want to be. But really? I look at my video from Feb 2011. I have come a long way. I am more confident and can handle the little roadbumps that are constantly in my way, just a little easier than I could a year ago.
I have 4 classes, each one special and dear to my heart in its own way.
*My Thursday class: My very first ever. Special to me because it was my very first class on the schedule. This past week, as I wished them a Happy New Year at the end of the cool down, I shared with them how special they are to me as my first class, and how some have been with my since the beginning of the year, and some are brand new, but each one has shown growth, and strength, and how honored I am to teach them each week. Did my eyes stay dry? Nope.
*My Sunday class: special to me because it was not on the schedule, but several members went to the manager and asked specifically for a Sunday class taught by me, and he obliged. This class was created for me and for that reason, is very dear to my heart. I have a regular group of 20-25 members who are grateful to have a BP class on Sunday, one of only 3 I believe on the Peninsula. I am happy to be there each and every Sunday. It has its own energy.....and is the only class not sandwiched between two others and it just makes the whole class feel more relaxed and not so frenetic.
*My Tuesday class: special to me because it was my 3rd class and consistently is the largest class each week and while many of the regular members come to my other classes, the energy in this packed class is like no other. It's always a fun group, like all the others, but it's always a gamble to see if we have enough equipment to go around. My Tuesday members are used to sharing with their neighbors!
*My Saturday class: my one and only class at Pacific Athletic Club, one that has grown since May when I began, and is very different from my 24Hr classes, but just as fun to teach to. The members have been very welcoming, the numbers have grown steadily over time, and it is a nice facility. Today, I shared with them for the first time, my before (2007) picture and my after (2011) picture. I told them how special today is: it would have been my father's 78th birthday, and how fitting it is that today I close this year out teaching my all time favorite class. How because my dad died of complications from diabetes, my eyes were opened to the train wreck my life had become and because of what he went through, I decided to make a change. How I walked into my first BP class and it changed my life, and how honored I am to be teaching this class on Dad's birthday, because it all goes back to him and why I decided to change. I couldn't get through it with out crying, but quickly composed myself and had a fantastic last class of 2011. Many people came to me after to see the pictures, to congratulate me on a job well done, but what I remember most was the new participant in the back of the class that I connected with throughout the workout, and her smile at the end. I hope I was able to give her a fun class that she will come back to. And the couple that came to me to ask me how many calories they burned during class, and talked about weight training with me. My son, walking in to the end of the class and overhearing this conversation, and telling me later how strange it was to hear me talking to people in an "instructor" capacity. It was a memorable way to finish my first year as a BodyPump instructor. I thought he was criticizing me - but he stopped me and told me how cool it was to hear me in that capacity. Wow.
I end this year with the opportunity to help someone very close to me make some big life changes. My husband. He has had some health challenges this past week that has brought us closer together, as a couple and as a family, and while it has been emotional, scary, frustrating and unnerving, it has also been eye opening, enlightening, and exactly what he needed to make some serious changes. I know that 2012 is going to be instrumental for him and for all of us, and I am prepared to support, mentor and guide him through whatever comes.
So much more reflecting is in order...but it's getting late and will have to wait. I have a new playlist to practice for my special Sunday class tomorrow. The first of 2012. My second year as an instructor. I am so excited to see how I grow, where I go, who I'll meet.
I am so fortunate to have a family who loves and supports me, friends who are patient with me (I had hoped to see and spend time with several friends this break but family calls, and family is first. I hope they understand that things happened out of my control and I hope to have time in the very near future to catch up).
Happy New Year to all who read this blog, who comment regularly via email, who support and love me no matter what drivel I write here. I love each and every one of you. Here's to a MAGNIFICENT 2012.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
It Is What It Is
Whatever will be, will be. I've procrastinated, stressed, cursed, worried, and ultimately studied my heart out. My head is ready to explode and as I sat down tonight to do more review (after the gym, store, dinner, shower, hand painting Christmas gifts, homework -Cassie's, not mine- dishes, certification workshop info digging, printing receipts, etc. etc.) I realized I was done. Spent. I'm so exhausted from the last few weeks of school, teaching, and other stresses that I don't know what more I can do. I was reading on line just now the practical part of the exam and it worries me more than the written one. I know how to cue and teach. But to do it OUTSIDE a BodyPump setting worries me. I won't know the music, I won't know what sequence to teach, it has to be a flexibility, strength or cardio sequence showing options of intensity. I can do this in a BP class. I hope I can do it outside of one. Sigh.
Tonight's class was schizophrenic. Literally. The warmup was fine, I am doing the same playlist as last week just because I cannot review chorey right now with this exam. I will change for Sunday but once I hit squats...the iPod started acting up. Music volume going up and down, static, and I though the iPod was dying. For chest, it did the same thing so I switched to my iPhone for back. Did the same thing. Not only was the volume going in and out, the bass was so prevalent that it was just bizarre trying to teach to it. During triceps, it was like it was a differerent song, more than one layered on top of the other, and just sounded horrible. It's a good thing I know my choreography because that's what saved me. I just kept going. It was intensely frustrating because never before tonight did it really hit me how critical the music is to BodyPump. It felt like an utter failure of a class to me because it was NOT, to me, the kind of class I would have enjoyed. Yes, I apologized, profusely, throughout the class. I know I had no control over it, and I've taught with no mic before, but no music? It just was not okay.
The ultimate surprise to me? The number of people that came to me after and said despite the psycho music, it was still a great class. A couple commented on how much easier it was to hear my instructions. Huh? I'm constantly reminded how it's not about ME, it's about my participants. While tonight's class was NOT a success for me, for my members, they understood and still got a good workout. They didn't hold it against me. People that are regulars but ive never connected with made a point to tell me it was a good class. Maybe it was my sense of humor that came through the utter frustration. I think the stereo was having issues and I hope they fix it by Sunday or I'll go ballistic.
Sigh.
Tonight's class was schizophrenic. Literally. The warmup was fine, I am doing the same playlist as last week just because I cannot review chorey right now with this exam. I will change for Sunday but once I hit squats...the iPod started acting up. Music volume going up and down, static, and I though the iPod was dying. For chest, it did the same thing so I switched to my iPhone for back. Did the same thing. Not only was the volume going in and out, the bass was so prevalent that it was just bizarre trying to teach to it. During triceps, it was like it was a differerent song, more than one layered on top of the other, and just sounded horrible. It's a good thing I know my choreography because that's what saved me. I just kept going. It was intensely frustrating because never before tonight did it really hit me how critical the music is to BodyPump. It felt like an utter failure of a class to me because it was NOT, to me, the kind of class I would have enjoyed. Yes, I apologized, profusely, throughout the class. I know I had no control over it, and I've taught with no mic before, but no music? It just was not okay.
The ultimate surprise to me? The number of people that came to me after and said despite the psycho music, it was still a great class. A couple commented on how much easier it was to hear my instructions. Huh? I'm constantly reminded how it's not about ME, it's about my participants. While tonight's class was NOT a success for me, for my members, they understood and still got a good workout. They didn't hold it against me. People that are regulars but ive never connected with made a point to tell me it was a good class. Maybe it was my sense of humor that came through the utter frustration. I think the stereo was having issues and I hope they fix it by Sunday or I'll go ballistic.
Sigh.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Growing Pains
Okay, the growing part is not only for me. Just the pain.
Alexander passed his permit test yesterday. Tried to put one over on me and told me he failed, missing 20 out of 40. I responded by telling him that he has NO business behind the wheel if he misses 20 questions! But he only missed 5, so I suppose he is ready. After I got the news, I couldn't focus much on work the rest of the day. Called the insurance company, got the paperwork emailed and faxed back allowing him to be a permitted driver on our insurance (thankfully no extra $$ yet), spoke to the young woman who is selling her car and worked out some details (it looks pretty darn good that before Christmas, we will be the owners of a third car. Joy.) Then took Alex and two of his friends to Sakura for dinner, along with Amanda and the girls, my mom, Franklin's parents, his cousin Claudia and her husband, and Franklin's friend Noe and his daughter.
Dinner was great as usual, Tim, the owner, gives us a standing 10% discount each time now, since he loves soccer and can talk at length with Franklin. He also thinks my son is great so he told him to order ANYTHING off the menu, including the Kobe beef and lobster, for his birthday. Such a nice man. Dinner was fun, although late, because I couldn't get the private room until 8:30, so the girls were almost falling asleep in their dinner. Then I had to be ME, and sustain a head injury. There are two support columns along the window and I had walked back and forth twice already, hitting a shoulder each time because they blended in with the window and stick out at an odd angle or something. Well, when Alex's beef came I got up and walked over to taste it, and WHACKED my head so hard on the steel post that I think it vibrated. The post. Or maybe it was my head. Either way, something was ringing. It made a loud bang, that's for sure. I stood there, with my hand on my head, while the boys laughed at me, then looked concerned because I couldn't move. I played it down but it hurt like crazy and I saw stars, and couldn't move for literally about 5 minutes. Of course my mom was overly concerned, and once Amanda teased Alex about not letting me sleep because I had a concussion, he started worrying as well. I was fine, didn't forget my age or my address. I iced, Franklin kept checking on me for a couple of hours and it was okay. But this morning I was sporting a bump and a headache. Washing my hair after the gym reminded me of the pain as well :)
Alex had a game at Santa Clara University this morning, early, and we were out of the house before 8:00 am. He was playing with the Palo Alto team that he is accompanying to Florida on Christmas day. He played mid field today, which he used to play but has played last man defense for so long that he was extra winded today from all the running. A bit more endurance training and he'll be fine.
Cassie stayed with Amanda and the girls while I went to teach at PAC. Deb was coming to team teach with me today, which was very welcome since I was not feeling 100% in the head. She did biceps to abs and did a great job today. She is growing but is struggling with getting in at a club and I am confident with more practice, she will be really great. She just needs a break.
I had a regular member come to me after class, she is there each week with her teenage son, a very nice, soft spoken woman who has expressed to me in the past how much she enjoys my class. Today, however, she literally brought tears to my eyes. She came to me and told me how wonderful it has been to watch me grow and mature as an instructor, that I seem so passionate about teaching and my enthusiasm is infectious and makes it fun to come to my classes. It really touched me today, more so than others, for some reason. To hear it from a member who is usually very reserved and just smiles quietly or says thank you to make a point and come to me to share that with me.......just priceless. I still have trouble really accepting compliments about my instructing abilities because I know where I want to be and I still feel so new, but I know, deep in my heart, I've grown and improved. It's been a whole year and I am a world away from where I was last December and January. I have a long way to go, and I still make mistakes, every class, but it's getting better.
I'm so overloaded with studying for this AFAA exam next Saturday that I simply cannot WAIT for it to be over and done with. I've completed the study guide and yesterday took the practice test. I missed 13 out of 75, which brought me to about an 82%. I need 80% to pass. What was nice is this study guide tells me which chapter each answer came from, so I saw a pattern of all my errors in that they were mostly from one chapter, and a couple of others. I know where I need to go back and re-read. I have also skipped some chapters so this week I will be reading more, reviewing the study guide, and looking at Alex's flash cards. I don't have time at this point to create my own. In looking at the day's agenda for this thing next week, I somehow missed that the entire day is actually a workshop going over the study guide in preparation for the test! So I have more hope that I can pass this. We get an hour lunch, then late in the afternoon, after reviewing areas in the text, we take the written test (an hour) and then the practical part, which now I'm beginning to get more nervous about because I have to "perform" in front of others, first in a group which doesn't bother me, but then individually for 1-2 minutes demonstrating some type of exercises to their music.
Hello??!!! I only know LES MILLS BODY PUMP! I don't know anything else! I only know how to cue BP moves! I only know the techniques that I have been trained on, not general group fitness stuff. Even in the text, there are pictures of moves that don't look like how I was trained. Sigh. I just want this to BE OVER.
Then maybe Christmas can come alive in my house, if only for the week before........
Alexander passed his permit test yesterday. Tried to put one over on me and told me he failed, missing 20 out of 40. I responded by telling him that he has NO business behind the wheel if he misses 20 questions! But he only missed 5, so I suppose he is ready. After I got the news, I couldn't focus much on work the rest of the day. Called the insurance company, got the paperwork emailed and faxed back allowing him to be a permitted driver on our insurance (thankfully no extra $$ yet), spoke to the young woman who is selling her car and worked out some details (it looks pretty darn good that before Christmas, we will be the owners of a third car. Joy.) Then took Alex and two of his friends to Sakura for dinner, along with Amanda and the girls, my mom, Franklin's parents, his cousin Claudia and her husband, and Franklin's friend Noe and his daughter.
Dinner was great as usual, Tim, the owner, gives us a standing 10% discount each time now, since he loves soccer and can talk at length with Franklin. He also thinks my son is great so he told him to order ANYTHING off the menu, including the Kobe beef and lobster, for his birthday. Such a nice man. Dinner was fun, although late, because I couldn't get the private room until 8:30, so the girls were almost falling asleep in their dinner. Then I had to be ME, and sustain a head injury. There are two support columns along the window and I had walked back and forth twice already, hitting a shoulder each time because they blended in with the window and stick out at an odd angle or something. Well, when Alex's beef came I got up and walked over to taste it, and WHACKED my head so hard on the steel post that I think it vibrated. The post. Or maybe it was my head. Either way, something was ringing. It made a loud bang, that's for sure. I stood there, with my hand on my head, while the boys laughed at me, then looked concerned because I couldn't move. I played it down but it hurt like crazy and I saw stars, and couldn't move for literally about 5 minutes. Of course my mom was overly concerned, and once Amanda teased Alex about not letting me sleep because I had a concussion, he started worrying as well. I was fine, didn't forget my age or my address. I iced, Franklin kept checking on me for a couple of hours and it was okay. But this morning I was sporting a bump and a headache. Washing my hair after the gym reminded me of the pain as well :)
Alex had a game at Santa Clara University this morning, early, and we were out of the house before 8:00 am. He was playing with the Palo Alto team that he is accompanying to Florida on Christmas day. He played mid field today, which he used to play but has played last man defense for so long that he was extra winded today from all the running. A bit more endurance training and he'll be fine.
Cassie stayed with Amanda and the girls while I went to teach at PAC. Deb was coming to team teach with me today, which was very welcome since I was not feeling 100% in the head. She did biceps to abs and did a great job today. She is growing but is struggling with getting in at a club and I am confident with more practice, she will be really great. She just needs a break.
I had a regular member come to me after class, she is there each week with her teenage son, a very nice, soft spoken woman who has expressed to me in the past how much she enjoys my class. Today, however, she literally brought tears to my eyes. She came to me and told me how wonderful it has been to watch me grow and mature as an instructor, that I seem so passionate about teaching and my enthusiasm is infectious and makes it fun to come to my classes. It really touched me today, more so than others, for some reason. To hear it from a member who is usually very reserved and just smiles quietly or says thank you to make a point and come to me to share that with me.......just priceless. I still have trouble really accepting compliments about my instructing abilities because I know where I want to be and I still feel so new, but I know, deep in my heart, I've grown and improved. It's been a whole year and I am a world away from where I was last December and January. I have a long way to go, and I still make mistakes, every class, but it's getting better.
I'm so overloaded with studying for this AFAA exam next Saturday that I simply cannot WAIT for it to be over and done with. I've completed the study guide and yesterday took the practice test. I missed 13 out of 75, which brought me to about an 82%. I need 80% to pass. What was nice is this study guide tells me which chapter each answer came from, so I saw a pattern of all my errors in that they were mostly from one chapter, and a couple of others. I know where I need to go back and re-read. I have also skipped some chapters so this week I will be reading more, reviewing the study guide, and looking at Alex's flash cards. I don't have time at this point to create my own. In looking at the day's agenda for this thing next week, I somehow missed that the entire day is actually a workshop going over the study guide in preparation for the test! So I have more hope that I can pass this. We get an hour lunch, then late in the afternoon, after reviewing areas in the text, we take the written test (an hour) and then the practical part, which now I'm beginning to get more nervous about because I have to "perform" in front of others, first in a group which doesn't bother me, but then individually for 1-2 minutes demonstrating some type of exercises to their music.
Hello??!!! I only know LES MILLS BODY PUMP! I don't know anything else! I only know how to cue BP moves! I only know the techniques that I have been trained on, not general group fitness stuff. Even in the text, there are pictures of moves that don't look like how I was trained. Sigh. I just want this to BE OVER.
Then maybe Christmas can come alive in my house, if only for the week before........
Thursday, December 8, 2011
My BABY.....
Is turning 17 tomorrow. Why does this bring tears to my eyes?
I said good night to him tonight, standing in the door to his room and was overcome with emotion. Sat down on his bed and just rubbed his head. Of course he was like, "don't cry mom!" but he indulged me. I guess a lot of things are hitting me at once tonight.
Like the fact that tomorrow he is taking his permit test, again, but I've been quizzing him and he is ready. I'm confideent he will be a permitted driver tomorrow. On his birthday. Oh boy.
And the fact that an unexpected opportunity to buy him a car came up today. Franklin's cousin's husband's brother's daughter (hahaha) is selling her car, an older one in great condition for an amazing price. The fact that we've known her and her parents for almost 20 years makes me trust what they are selling, and he could be practicing in this car for the next 6 months. But with Florida happening for him in 2 weeks, the timing is not great financially but it's one of those chances that if we don't take it, we may not be able to buy him anything for a long time. Somehow I have to make this work. Franklin could also use this vehicle for soccer and I wouldn't have to be stuck without the van when he needs to transport more boys. It could be a win win situation. If it's meant to be, it will happen somehow.
My life completely changed exactly 17 years ago. I didn't know I was having a boy, and I ended up having a c-section after being induced and in labor all day. I also gave birth on a Friday, just like tomorrow. It was one of the most amazing experiences in my life, giving birth to my first born.
He continues to bring me joy, love, a sense of pride and intense frustration on a daily basis. As I was quizzing him on his drivers test tonight, it just hit me that I don't have a baby anymore, I barely have a child. I have a young man. One who shaves, argues, thinks, negotiates, manipulates, loves and protects, shares, cares, impresses others with so many wonderful qualities......
My son. My baby. All grown up and about to embark on a very exciting time - for him. The driving part. Me?
I'm terrified.
I said good night to him tonight, standing in the door to his room and was overcome with emotion. Sat down on his bed and just rubbed his head. Of course he was like, "don't cry mom!" but he indulged me. I guess a lot of things are hitting me at once tonight.
Like the fact that tomorrow he is taking his permit test, again, but I've been quizzing him and he is ready. I'm confideent he will be a permitted driver tomorrow. On his birthday. Oh boy.
And the fact that an unexpected opportunity to buy him a car came up today. Franklin's cousin's husband's brother's daughter (hahaha) is selling her car, an older one in great condition for an amazing price. The fact that we've known her and her parents for almost 20 years makes me trust what they are selling, and he could be practicing in this car for the next 6 months. But with Florida happening for him in 2 weeks, the timing is not great financially but it's one of those chances that if we don't take it, we may not be able to buy him anything for a long time. Somehow I have to make this work. Franklin could also use this vehicle for soccer and I wouldn't have to be stuck without the van when he needs to transport more boys. It could be a win win situation. If it's meant to be, it will happen somehow.
My life completely changed exactly 17 years ago. I didn't know I was having a boy, and I ended up having a c-section after being induced and in labor all day. I also gave birth on a Friday, just like tomorrow. It was one of the most amazing experiences in my life, giving birth to my first born.
He continues to bring me joy, love, a sense of pride and intense frustration on a daily basis. As I was quizzing him on his drivers test tonight, it just hit me that I don't have a baby anymore, I barely have a child. I have a young man. One who shaves, argues, thinks, negotiates, manipulates, loves and protects, shares, cares, impresses others with so many wonderful qualities......
My son. My baby. All grown up and about to embark on a very exciting time - for him. The driving part. Me?
I'm terrified.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Year Of BodyPump
One year ago today I passed my BodyPump initial training module. I can't believe it's been an entire year.
I remember the weekend like it was.....well, a year ago. Feels like I've been teaching this program alot longer, in some respects, and in others, it feels like I'm a rookie, which essentially I am. In the big scheme of things.
I went back and read over some of my entries, from the time I decided to pursue training and all the ups and downs emotionally that I went through as the pieces fell into place......asking for advice from people about whether or not I should go for training....getting the nerve to ask for 24Hr to sponsor me (a fitness nobody)......Les Mills approving me to register.....the turmoil as the weekend approached.....and the sheer surprise and elation when I passed. Fully. One year ago today.
And then the real work began!
This year has been a virtual whirlwind as well. Christmas was put on hold as I practiced, and practiced, and practiced.......getting the audition with Angie right before Christmas, getting hired.....then launching the re-release and getting not one, but two classes on the schedule within the first two weeks! Then a third within the first six weeks! Video taping my class several times and all the stress that went along with that, having Alex mentor and coach me through some tough weeks, all the bloopers and struggles of being a brand new instructor.......getting hired at Pacific Athletic Club in May....teaching and teaching. I figure that I've taught close to 200 classes this year! Wow. Boggles. My. Mind.
I am fortunate and happy to still approach each class I teach with excitement, to care enough about my participants to learn new choreography and change things up to keep it fun for them, to go to additional trainings whenever I can. I'm very fortunate to have found this program and all the people I've met either in my classes or my fellow instructors. I can't wait to see what next year holds for me. It's just night and day where I was a year ago tonight compared with tonight. THe amount of growth I've experienced......and it's so exciting to think I'm nowhere NEAR approaching the end of my journey!!
Had a good weekend, took Franklin and some family out for his birthday dinner. Studied at the library yesterday and actually got a few solid hours in tonight. I did 10 pages of my study guide today and if I push hard tomorrow at the library, want to finish e study guide and have the rest of the week to finish reading the textbook. Then I can make some flash cards (Alex lent me his but I'm finding that if I write down my own notes, the info tends to stick more).
I'm seeing cross eyed right now and need to get to bed. Tomorrow is a busy day. Have no idea how my classroom was left with me running out Friday morning to meet Franklin at the ER so it promises to be an interesting day. I haven't planned for the week but there at only two weeks left and then I get THREE WEEKS OFF!! I cannot express how much I need this time. My test will be over so maybe I can actually be productive at home and maybe even get some rest and my own workouts in.
Fingers crossed. And toes. And eyes.
I remember the weekend like it was.....well, a year ago. Feels like I've been teaching this program alot longer, in some respects, and in others, it feels like I'm a rookie, which essentially I am. In the big scheme of things.
I went back and read over some of my entries, from the time I decided to pursue training and all the ups and downs emotionally that I went through as the pieces fell into place......asking for advice from people about whether or not I should go for training....getting the nerve to ask for 24Hr to sponsor me (a fitness nobody)......Les Mills approving me to register.....the turmoil as the weekend approached.....and the sheer surprise and elation when I passed. Fully. One year ago today.
And then the real work began!
This year has been a virtual whirlwind as well. Christmas was put on hold as I practiced, and practiced, and practiced.......getting the audition with Angie right before Christmas, getting hired.....then launching the re-release and getting not one, but two classes on the schedule within the first two weeks! Then a third within the first six weeks! Video taping my class several times and all the stress that went along with that, having Alex mentor and coach me through some tough weeks, all the bloopers and struggles of being a brand new instructor.......getting hired at Pacific Athletic Club in May....teaching and teaching. I figure that I've taught close to 200 classes this year! Wow. Boggles. My. Mind.
I am fortunate and happy to still approach each class I teach with excitement, to care enough about my participants to learn new choreography and change things up to keep it fun for them, to go to additional trainings whenever I can. I'm very fortunate to have found this program and all the people I've met either in my classes or my fellow instructors. I can't wait to see what next year holds for me. It's just night and day where I was a year ago tonight compared with tonight. THe amount of growth I've experienced......and it's so exciting to think I'm nowhere NEAR approaching the end of my journey!!
Had a good weekend, took Franklin and some family out for his birthday dinner. Studied at the library yesterday and actually got a few solid hours in tonight. I did 10 pages of my study guide today and if I push hard tomorrow at the library, want to finish e study guide and have the rest of the week to finish reading the textbook. Then I can make some flash cards (Alex lent me his but I'm finding that if I write down my own notes, the info tends to stick more).
I'm seeing cross eyed right now and need to get to bed. Tomorrow is a busy day. Have no idea how my classroom was left with me running out Friday morning to meet Franklin at the ER so it promises to be an interesting day. I haven't planned for the week but there at only two weeks left and then I get THREE WEEKS OFF!! I cannot express how much I need this time. My test will be over so maybe I can actually be productive at home and maybe even get some rest and my own workouts in.
Fingers crossed. And toes. And eyes.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Will My Emotions Ever Get a BREAK???
What a DAY. D-A-Y.
It started out as a normal Friday. Running late. As usual.
Got a call from Franklin as my students were walking in to class. He said he was having weird pains in his stomach and chest after he dropped Cassie at school, and was considering going to the ER. He waffled back and forth, apparently driving towards work, then turned around to go to the hospital, then pulled over and called me. He had been not feeling well all week, stayed home one day, then went to the doctor on Wednesday because he had thought he had the stomach flu, then thought it was something else.....the doctor suspected gallstones and confirmed that he had a hernia near his belly button that we discovered the night before. A follow up was scheduled for next week and the doctor said the hospital would call him by today to schedule an ultrasound for his gall bladder.
We never heard from the hospital and I was going to call today and then this happened. I told him he should drive himself to the ER and I would try to get someone to take my students, to which he replied he was okay and I should stay at school. Awhile later, I called him and he was at the hospital, in a bed with an IV in him, waiting for an ultrasound and they had already run tests on his heart. He said he was okay but I knew I had to get out of school because I was starting to worry and the kids were asking me why I was teary.
I took the kids out to recess and went to the office where my VP promptly told me to leave, he would take my kids. I went back to class to get some work ready, gathered my stuff, just in case I didn't get back. I had every intention of coming back to school because I had the hopes it wasn't serious and I could finish the day, plus I had not yet planned for next week. I drove to the hospital and started freaking out. I know he said he was fine but my mind started racing and I knew I had to pull it together.
I arrived and he was out of the room getting his ultrasound. When he returned, he looked fine, said he was just in a little bit of pain. Long story short, we were there till 1:00 (I arrived at 10:00, he was there since 8:40) and the doctor said his ultrasound showed nothing in the gall bladder, the blood tests were all within normal limits (blood sugar, liver function, cholesterol, etc etc) the heart checked out just fine, and sent him for a CAT scan just to check again and to look at the hernia. All told, the hernia seemed to be what was causing all the trouble, and it is an umbilical hernia that eventually could become incarcerated, which would mean treating with surgery once it was in that acute phase, so we should take care of it sooner rather than later. We met with the surgeon who happened to be in the hospital and the earliest I could schedule his pre-op appointment was for Dec. 14th, then he will have surgery most likely before Christmas. The only other thing of concern was the presence of fat penetrating the liver, which is reversible if he loses weight. I've been doing research on it and have already shared with him what this means, especially if it is ignored, and now the ball is in his court but I think he is ready to make some changes.
So another day of potentially studying is gone, but I am going to the library with Amanda tomorrow morning before I teach at PAC. We are going to try for more library time on Sunday, and then a schedule of Mon-Wed next week, with cramming over the weekend, and I'm praying and hoping for some of this information to stick. I had a glimmer of hope on Wednesday when we spent 2 hours at the library because I was amazed at how much I actually got accomplished with I was without the family around, in a quiet library, working on the study guide. Do I remember anything? Not at this moment. Hopefully I'll get some of that back tomorrow, knowing now that Franklin is essentially okay, and I can try to knock this out.
Here I go again, with the beginning of December being crazy, like last year when I was going for my BP initial training. A year ago this weekend.. I remember it was three days before Christmas that I finally did shopping and decorating. What is up with me and timing?
I need two uneventful weeks coming up so I can focus, please. No drama. Pretty please. With a cherry on top.
It started out as a normal Friday. Running late. As usual.
Got a call from Franklin as my students were walking in to class. He said he was having weird pains in his stomach and chest after he dropped Cassie at school, and was considering going to the ER. He waffled back and forth, apparently driving towards work, then turned around to go to the hospital, then pulled over and called me. He had been not feeling well all week, stayed home one day, then went to the doctor on Wednesday because he had thought he had the stomach flu, then thought it was something else.....the doctor suspected gallstones and confirmed that he had a hernia near his belly button that we discovered the night before. A follow up was scheduled for next week and the doctor said the hospital would call him by today to schedule an ultrasound for his gall bladder.
We never heard from the hospital and I was going to call today and then this happened. I told him he should drive himself to the ER and I would try to get someone to take my students, to which he replied he was okay and I should stay at school. Awhile later, I called him and he was at the hospital, in a bed with an IV in him, waiting for an ultrasound and they had already run tests on his heart. He said he was okay but I knew I had to get out of school because I was starting to worry and the kids were asking me why I was teary.
I took the kids out to recess and went to the office where my VP promptly told me to leave, he would take my kids. I went back to class to get some work ready, gathered my stuff, just in case I didn't get back. I had every intention of coming back to school because I had the hopes it wasn't serious and I could finish the day, plus I had not yet planned for next week. I drove to the hospital and started freaking out. I know he said he was fine but my mind started racing and I knew I had to pull it together.
I arrived and he was out of the room getting his ultrasound. When he returned, he looked fine, said he was just in a little bit of pain. Long story short, we were there till 1:00 (I arrived at 10:00, he was there since 8:40) and the doctor said his ultrasound showed nothing in the gall bladder, the blood tests were all within normal limits (blood sugar, liver function, cholesterol, etc etc) the heart checked out just fine, and sent him for a CAT scan just to check again and to look at the hernia. All told, the hernia seemed to be what was causing all the trouble, and it is an umbilical hernia that eventually could become incarcerated, which would mean treating with surgery once it was in that acute phase, so we should take care of it sooner rather than later. We met with the surgeon who happened to be in the hospital and the earliest I could schedule his pre-op appointment was for Dec. 14th, then he will have surgery most likely before Christmas. The only other thing of concern was the presence of fat penetrating the liver, which is reversible if he loses weight. I've been doing research on it and have already shared with him what this means, especially if it is ignored, and now the ball is in his court but I think he is ready to make some changes.
So another day of potentially studying is gone, but I am going to the library with Amanda tomorrow morning before I teach at PAC. We are going to try for more library time on Sunday, and then a schedule of Mon-Wed next week, with cramming over the weekend, and I'm praying and hoping for some of this information to stick. I had a glimmer of hope on Wednesday when we spent 2 hours at the library because I was amazed at how much I actually got accomplished with I was without the family around, in a quiet library, working on the study guide. Do I remember anything? Not at this moment. Hopefully I'll get some of that back tomorrow, knowing now that Franklin is essentially okay, and I can try to knock this out.
Here I go again, with the beginning of December being crazy, like last year when I was going for my BP initial training. A year ago this weekend.. I remember it was three days before Christmas that I finally did shopping and decorating. What is up with me and timing?
I need two uneventful weeks coming up so I can focus, please. No drama. Pretty please. With a cherry on top.
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