It seems like a tradition now. Spending some time on New Year's Eve reflecting on the past year. I just finished reading my entries from 2010 and 2011. I sincerely hope that there isn't a year, coming up, where I don't have even greater amazing things to reflect on. The last two years have been a whirlwind, especially as I document my fitness journey. Highlights from the past two years, just to put things in perspective as I reflect on 2012:
2010: "And then, the biggest transformation of all. This year alone, even
though I began almost three years ago, has been the most amazing year of
all, in terms of personal, emotional, spiritual and physical growth for
me. I've blogged about my journey before, but I can't help but replay
2010 over and over in my head because that is the year it actually
STUCK. This past year feels like it was fast forwarded, because of how
my life has done such a complete 180 since last January. Last January, I
had lost 30 pounds but was not consistent with food and exercise and
was just living my life as a wife, mom and teacher.
Now, in December, I am an additional 30 pounds lighter, discovered a
passion and desire for exercise and physical activity, began running,
have run (okay, and walked) a half marathon, have made some new
wonderful friends, trained to teach BodyPump and was just hired to be a
group fitness instructor. HUH? Did I miss something? This is the stuff
that happens over years and years. Not in just 12 short months."
2011: "It brings tears to my eyes to read my words, my sense of passion and
determination. I feel no less at this moment. This year, 2011, truly WAS
all those things above. This year WAS better than the last. It was the
year that I truly put myself out there, as an instructor, a teacher, a
mentor. I made so many mistakes, made so many bloopers, cried a ton of
tears, stuck my foot in my mouth countless times, laughed at myself,
kicked myself, tore some hair out, scratched my eyeballs out and then
put them back, had others kick the crap out of me......and I am still
standing. I am a better person for it, a better instructor. The
incredible growth I have experienced in 12 short months ASTOUNDS me.
Truly. I still have a long way to go to be the kind of instructor I want
to be. But really? I look at my video from Feb 2011. I have come a long
way. I am more confident and can handle the little roadbumps that are
constantly in my way, just a little easier than I could a year ago."
Fast forward to 2012: I wrote in my Christmas letter last year that this was the year I hoped to add a program or two. Yes, it was a dream but I didn't really think I would have the time for it. Well, be careful what you put in writing, what you put out to the universe. This year surpassed the last two, not that they don't have merit, it's all part of my journey to a better me. It just keeps getting better and better. This IS the year I trained for not one, but two more Les Mills programs.
Probably the most instrumental training I have ever been through was AIM2. I went through this Advanced Instructor Module in March, flying to Seattle for the weekend. I met amazing people who have become friends and supporters. Working with world class trainers to help better my skills as an instructor, work that continues on daily. It was a turning point in my teaching, and even though at that point, I had no intention to actually add on any more programs, I believe it gave me the confidence to do so.
In April, I trained for CXWORX and passed on site. A 30 minute core program that is functional training at it's best. I didn't even have a place to teach the program, but I was encouraged to train and went through it with some amazing women. It was harder, in a different way, than BodyPump. It's amazing how much "easier" it is to go through something like this with friends and supporters. It also was amazing to me how I felt "seasoned" as an instructor next to others that were there for their first ever LM training.
As 24 Hour Fitness began turning their Super Sport locations into Premier clubs, adding more formats, it became clear that I would have the chance to teach CX there. I was fortunate to be asked to launch at these clubs, and am proud to have done so at each launch over the summer, beginning in San Jose on stage with Steve Renata, who is one of the originators of BodyPump. Then when I heard RPM was going to be coming, I thought I would add that program even though I am not a huge fan of indoor cycling. However, when I found out that BodyFlow, my secret love, was coming to San Mateo and Millbrae, that sealed the deal and in July I went through and passed that training. I believe I was meant to teach this program and have enjoyed every single moment of this new format.
I finished the summer launching in San Mateo and Mountain View in November. Probably the most exciting thing this year in terms of teaching is that I was able to expand my teaching from last December's 4 BodyPump classes to adding CX and BodyFlow, for 7 classes a week. Since August, I have had a dream schedule, one that is not without its challenges as I learn to manage the extra classes and balance them with work and family responsibilities. The biggest challenge, and I know I am not alone in this, is learning multiple formats. Not only before re-launch times, which in the fall, had to come right at the beginning of the school year, but balancing older release reviews with learning new ones. Participants don't and simply cannot understand what we instructors go through to prepare for that one hour class.
That being said, I don't regret any of the craziness I have imposed upon myself. Truly. I am blessed, fortunate and so incredibly lucky to be doing what I am doing. I have a great full time job, one that gives me less joy on a daily basis, though, as education faces so many challenges and cut backs. This one, the one I choose to do, teaching fitness, gives me a different kind of joy. The joy of seeing the faces of my participants at the start of a class, anticipating the workout. The joy of seeing their faces, mid-class, as they are struggling, sweating, and yes, smiling, especially if I am being goofy or making a joke. The joy of their faces as they reach the end of a track, just BARELY, and this is not only in BodyPump, but CX and BodyFlow as well. The joy of seeing their faces as they smile, thank me, and leave class, feeling accomplished, tired and exhilarated. The feeling that I, as an instructor (and still a new one at that) have as people come up to thank me for a great class, or for challenging them. It really is a feeling like no other. It reminds me that I am here for a purpose, that I am meant to do this, in whatever capacity I can.
I finish this year, 2012, not actively teaching, as I needed to take some time off to heal some injuries. Another thing I have learned as I continue on this journey as a group fitness instructor, is that while I don't do this for ME, I do this for my participants, I have to remember to take care of ME. That is something that I haven't done very well this year, as since I don't make New Year's Resolutions, I will state that as my goal.
My goal for 2013 will be to take better care of ME. Physically and emotionally. Because right now, I am not there for my classes. I am trying to get into physical therapy to take care of pain. It has been almost 2 weeks since I have taught (other than a BodyFlow class I taught yesterday because I had no sub, which ended up being very therapeutic for me as well, which is why I LOVE THIS PROGRAM!) and it has been a very difficult 2 weeks. I am "off" for another 2 weeks and I hope to be able to get back to teaching through PT. I know in my "head" that I have to spend more time stretching, taking care of myself, which includes resting, in order to be there for my participants.
I find that I have become a bit complacent, working hard preparing for my classes, going to my job, taking care of my family, and need to find time to dedicate to caring for myself so that I can continue to do what I love - teaching Les Mills classes. I think that 2013 will be the year I add one more program......I know what it will be, but I can't divulge. However, I will not add another until I learn how to better manage the ones I have - and not at the expense of taking care of ME.
Probably for the first year since Dad died, I have been able to think of him today and not cry. I know that his health and his death are huge parts of what prompted me to make my major life change, and for that I thank him. It's been 5 years since he died and today would have been his 79th birthday. It is also the 2 year anniversary since I became a 24 Hour Fitness employee. Coincidence? Maybe. It's all connected.
Today I was able to go to a BodyFlow class as a participant and focus on me. I spent some time with Alex, my friend and a big part of my journey. The rest of the day was spent with my family, at the movies with them and my nieces and tonight, I have a big pot of chili going and we are spending it at home with Amanda and her family and I cannot be more thankful for my husband, my children, my family and friends.
I cannot wait to see what I write one year from tonight. This year will be the year Alexander graduates from high school and goes off to college. Cassie is growing more each day and developing quite the personality.
I remember these words I wrote on one of the earlier blogs. I am happy to say those words still ring true tonight. Happy New Year!!
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"I am a lucky woman, but also one that has rediscovered that I am not
afraid of hard work, not afraid of putting myself out there. The only
thing getting in the way was me, and I am not afraid anymore. Yes, I
have frequent freak out moments. But I find it works for me. I need to
voice the fear, feel reassurance, then face it head on and plow right
through it. It takes hard work, consistency, drive, dedication,
determination, blood, sweat, tears, laughter, teasing, embarrassment,
pain, pain and more pain, but a whole lot of FUN FUN FUN. I don't think,
looking back at the year, that I would trade any bit of what I went
through. I don't think I would change or alter any of my experiences".
Here Comes 2013!!!!
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