I have to be REALLY careful what I put in writing. I forget sometimes how truly powerful it is. I say this because I went back and looked at my entry from a few days ago, where I wrote my fears about this event:
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*oversleeping
*getting sick
*getting food poisoning
*stepping on something and spraining something
*getting the runs and/or throwing up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, in retrospect, a few hours before the race I threw up.........check!
And in the two days since the race, I have had #2, #3, #5. CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!
Gah. Next time I have to remember NOT to write down my fears, but my desired outcomes. Another lesson learned!
Today I went back to work even though my stomach is still uneasy. I will most likely never again eat at a little taqueria, at least not the meat, and especially if I witness the food drowning in grease. I want to puke just thinking about it. I am getting tired of soup and crackers.
I walked into the staff room this morning and Janet was standing by the white board and she grinned as she pointed at what she and Jeanett had done for me - posted a couple of pics from the race, with the words above, "Congratulations Kristy on completing your 1st 1/2 Marathon! 13.1 miles" I was so flattered!! I also found out that another teacher, Luz, had come to the finish line to support me but she never found me, and didn't have any of our phone numbers :(
At lunch Jeanett shared the pictures she took with me and she showed me one of Franklin, Alexander and Cassie, on Franklin's shoulders, with the balloons and flowers, looking to the left for me to approach the finish line. I started crying, because that was literally a snapshot moment in my memory that I thought would only exist in my mind, as fleeting as it was because I just waved to them as I ran by, makes me tear up as I write this. Now I have that vision of the three most important people in my life supporting me on something I worked so hard to accomplish, and I get to cherish that image forever. *sniff sniff*
I have to mention something about emotions. I suppose if you have never been a part of an endurance event like this or some major sporting event, or have even witnessed it, you won't be able to relate. Or maybe you are just not emotional, like me. I have no idea what that is like. Jeanett and I were talking about how emotional the whole thing was. She said that she was tearing up just watching the myriad of people working their way to the finish line, the different ages, sizes, couples, families (two children with their older father holding hands up), friends. She saw a man who was blind running with someone attached to him leading him in. (and, LOL, he BEAT ME!!!)
Franklin also mentioned to me that for a long time before I even approached the finish zone, he had tears running down his face because it was so incredibly inspirational. He saw people crying, in pain, struggling, smiling, handicapped, healthy, from all walks of life and he said it really inspired him to do something himself. When I saw my family on the sidelines, I cried. When I went over the finish line and started walking, I was crying. When I got through the runner's zone and met up with my family again, I cried. I cried because they KNOW how hard I have worked to accomplish something like this, something I NEVER thought I would ever attempt, never even fathomed in my dreams. I cried because I would never have even believed I could do something remotely like this, 68 pounds and 2 years ago. I cried not because I was in pain (which of course I was), but because I made it and they were all there for me, before, during and especially after. I cried because I ran for my dad and he was not here to tell me how proud he was of me.
A friend said to me the other day, as I told her about how we had cried, how Franklin had cried, and she was a bit incredulous that he did. She said "Franklin cried? Why did he cry?" and for some reason, it really bothered me that she didn't understand how emotional this whole thing was. Then I realized that it's not her fault, I guess you had to have been there to feel the emotion, to witness the determination, the intensity, the pain and struggling from so many, to feel the sheer energy of 12,000 people all in one event, for 12,000 different reasons, all going for one common goal. It was so amazingly powerful from so many levels. I am so honored that I was able to be a part of it, to experience it. I will never have an experience like that, exactly like that, ever again. I will never again have my 1st 1/2 marathon. Which is why I am so determined to write down every memory, every emotion because face it, I'm getting up there and the mind will be the first to go :)
What an awesome day it was. *sniff sniff*
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