NINE FREAKING MILES....OMG

At the 4 mile mark, not even at the top of the damn hill!

Trying to get more of the view from here

Wow. I am BEAT. Totally, thoroughly, wiped out. I knew it would be tough, attempting 9 miles. Now I feel like if I had run Sawyer Camp Trail, essentially FLAT, it would have been EASY. This was the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life, right up there with childbirth. And I had pain killers for those. This was drug free. Except for the adrenaline.

I must have worked myself up into a frenzy at the thought of 9 miles. It worried me all week. I woke up this morning at 3am, 4am, 5am and 6am. Then got up and had stomach cramps and was in the bathroom so much I thought I would have to cancel. I could only eat 2 bites of my oatmeal before I left.

We ran at Rancho San Antonio Park, really beautiful, off 280 and Foothill. The parking was full at 8 am, so we had to park in a nearby neighborhood and walk in, about a mile. Bob, James, Steph and I met 3 or 4 other team members and we took off. Of course, they took off and Steph stayed with me, but quickly, we put our music on, she went ahead of me and I fell behind, finding my pace and going with it.

The plan was to do the PG&E Challenge trail. Supposed to be really challenging, the entire trail, all hills, steep, but about 2 miles in, there were other trails that we could take around the mountain that were flatter, around to a farm, and it would be a 9 mile loop.

This was 8 miles of literally ALL HILLS. There were maybe 3 or 4 areas the entire trail that were flat, for a few feet, barely enough to catch my breath. The whole thing was UP UP UP. There were a few downhill stretches on the way up the hill, and I ran those, but the uphills, I had to walk those. And everytime I looked up to see when the hill ended, it never DID. I stopped looking up because it was so discouraging how loooooong the up hill stretches were. I thought my quads were going to catch on fire and send my clothes up in flames. My stomach felt pretty good during the run, felt nauseous once but talked it down, and ate a couple of the shot blocks, which were TONS better than the gross Gu gel. 

Everytime Steph stopped to wait for me, I asked her when the hell we were going downhill, or getting to the shoot off trail. I could not believe how high we were going, and how it was constant climbing up. We saw a fork up ahead and she said another .10 mile and we would be there, so I plugged on. SHE LIED. We kept going, up, up, up, and up. Finally, she said we had made it 4 miles and we could either continue around the loop, or go back down, do 8 miles in the hills and another mile on the flat land. Since I felt like the entire way was up, I gladly agreed to turn around and go back, even though I knew how steep it would be going down and I remembered how hard it was going downhill with Bob a few weeks ago. This was all trails, all dirt and rocks so it would be more treacherous but I simply could not handle more up hill.

We headed back down, knowing that I would be walking the few up hills, and running all the down hills and flats. It only took a couple of miles before my ankle, my hip flexor, my lower back and a knee started acting up. But I kept going. I walked up, ran at my snail pace down, and I tell you, when I got to the bottom and the parking lot was in front of me, it was the most welcome sight. 

I ran back to the start, where the rest of the team were waiting, James drew a line in the dirt and he and Steph made a finish line "ribbon" for me to plow through. I could not believe that I actually did 9 miles.A little more when you consider we then had to walk all the way back to the car! Everyone congratulated me, told me how awesome I was. James told me that if I could do 9 miles of the PG&E Challenge, the 1/2 marathon, flat, will literally be a piece of cake. I don't know about that, but I sure felt ready to take on any flat surface with no hills! Then Ms. Sneaky Steph said that was her plan all along, get me 4 miles up on the PG&E trail, then back down and not take the easier trail. Good thing she didn't tell me that during the run, I would have pushed her over one of the cliffs.

One thing that kept me going was thinking about Dad, and how even when he was healthy, there was no way he could have done something like this, so I really am doing this in his honor. I am not walking for a specific charity, but I am walking in honor of my dad. I know he would be so proud of me if he were here. Steph also reminded me that we should feel fortunate to be healthy enough to tackle something like this, there are so many out there that are unable to do this. This is her church. This is close to God. It was incredibly beautiful up there, and I do feel very fortunate that my body allows me to get with nature and take me up there. Yes, I  moan and groan because it was SO hard, but all told, I DID it. One way in, one way out. I am committed to this race, and I am pushing myself to get there.

Both Franklin and Alexander told me not to do too much, as I was worrying about the 9 miles yesterday. They said to only do what I could. Today, I came home limping and in pain, and they both said I overdid it.

The thing is, it's not about overdoing it. I could have said  I was done about 20 minutes in, it was so hard going constantly uphill. But it's now all about pushing my limits, doing things I never thought I could do, setting a specific goal and not stopping till I get there, no matter what. I shouldn't have worked my self  up about the 9 miles, because it is such a mind game. I don't know if I have a stomach bug, or if all my stomach woes today were emotional. I was a mess after the run, so sick to my stomach, back in the bathroom, all afternoon long. I forced myself to eat, even though I felt like eating nothing, and strangely, it made me feel better. I really have to get the nutrition part down because I know I am either not eating enough, or not enough of the right foods. 

Bottom line, yes, I am in pain right now, stiff, sore, limping, but I am recovering faster and faster (oh, and surprisingly enough, the knees that have been bothering me so much since I started running have now been feeling much better) and I am getting stronger. I miss my gym classes, and can't wait to get back to them, but this is so challenging, I know I will feel so good when I cross that finish line. Even if I am on my hands and knees.

Tears Of Frustration

Tonight was very difficult. I had a rotten day with the kids, more crying, parents helping and feeling like a brand new teacher with no control over my class. I was so embarrassed at the lack of control, but with 29 kids, 6 criers, 2 potential escapees, I completed 2 tasks today and they weren't even done well. If I were a drinker I'd be drunk right now.

Luckily for me and for my family, I am now a runner. But it was so weird tonight; running along side Stephanie, half way through she was pushing me to get to a certain landmark and I was having trouble breathing, and when I got to that point, I burst into tears. I couldn't even talk, or tell her why, I just couldn't stop crying. It's like the running released all the pent up frustration - the kids, the pressure at work, the frustration at not being able to breath effectively (in my mind), freaking out about doing 9 miles on Sunday, and worry that I won't make the 13 miles in the 4 hour time frame for the race. It took awhile of walking for me to even verbalize any of this to Steph. She is so awesome though. As I was beating myself up, she had a retort for every punch I gave myself. I guess I just had to vent, although I thought I had been doing that all along. She is definitely not going to let me talk myself into a pool of doubt, and I feel very fortunate to have her with me all the way. I just hope I don't lose it every time I run after a bad day.

She said to me that she knew all along I could do this. I had to raise my voice and say "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" She is the one that bugged me about doing this, but how does she know I can do this? I can do 2 classes back to back, but this is a whole different ball of wax. We haven't worked together for so long, and even then, she was middle school and I was kinder. But she saw, through all my posts on FB, a drive and determination, a potential for setting goals and reaching them. I am so good at the negative self talk, and I thought I had gotten past that for the most part.  But running has brought out all kinds of new demons inside of me, it's so new and like nothing I have ever done that the ugly monster is rearing it's head.

We got to the corner of Shell and RW Shores Parkway and she said from there till the end I could only stop at Bridge, which was about a mile away. I put my music on, she ran ahead of me, and I found a pace that I could work with, coupled with my music. We got to Bridge, and Bob and Stacey came up behind us and as I stopped to catch my breath, Bob insisted that I run the rest of the way with out stopping. After I cussed him out and told him that Steph said I could walk, he told me he didn't care and to get running. Well, I did, socked him in the arm at the end, and practically collapsed.

This was tough, but it was 4 miles in 54 minutes (such a sad, sad pace, good grief how the hell am I gonna do 13 miles in 4 hours) but I finished and have to believe that I will make it through this school year with my sanity and my commitment to exercise and fitness. Otherwise I will spontaneously combust. And THAT will not be pretty.

Sigh

Ugh. I love warm weather. But this is ridiculous. The first day with students yesterday and it was 100+ degrees. I had 28 students, 13 are still 4 years old, 2 cried the ENTIRE DAY, literally. And I still had to run at 6:30. Didn't even cross my  mind to skip, though. Must be the enormous stress of the day, and the desire to run away from it.

Jennifer came with me, she is also training for her first 1/2, the Nike one in SF two weeks after mine. We met Stephanie and Coach James, which was nice because I don't see him often. He is too busy running every single Rock and Roll marathon in the country this year (14), as well as coaching a TNT group and us. I was able to pick his brain after our run regarding my stomach issues, and the fact that I am sick to my stomach after each and every run. I have tried eating different things (yes, the watermelon was stupid and now I can't even look at my favorite fruit anymore), and yesterday I went on an empty stomach. Seemed to work, I had very little nausea last night.

I think it was still about 90+ when we met. James led us a different way, around the back side of Hotel Sofitel and Oracle, around the lagoon where it was  bit cooler (I suppose - still pretty damn hot to me!) The first grassy area we ran past was freshly cut and while I love the smell, I have been known to be allergic so immediately I had trouble breathing, plus my throat started to burn. Had to walk way more than usual, which was a bit embarrassing since Jen was running with me for the first time. She and I are pretty much at the same level, though, so she said she didn't mind keeping at my pace. Steph and James ran ahead of us. The heat was brutal; people today told me it was not smart to run, but this is coming from non-runners who I think can't believe I am running in the first place. I had my electrolyte drink, I walked when I needed to, and pushed myself at the end like I usually do, and still did just under 4 miles. So whatever to the naysayers who don't know what they are talking about.

James filled us in on the run this Sunday. He said since I am at 7 miles, I should do 9 on Sunday. 9??!! NINE??? CRAP!! I thought a mile a week increase was hard. He said I should shoot for nine, then the week after back down to 6 or 7, then increase again. He wants me to get to 10-12 a couple of weeks before the event, then back down right before to recover. Not to increase more than 2 at a time. This weekend we are running at Rancho San Antonio Park. We can do the PG&E Challenge, which is an endurance challenge up a hill (sounds HARD!!) or just run the trails. Supposed to be a BEAUTIFUL place to run, one of the greatest in the Bay Area. So, I guess I am running for 9 miles. Well, he said if I do 8, that's okay since there are hills. Oh my goodness.....Never in my life!!

The good news is I seem to be getting stronger, recovering from these Sunday runs much faster than before. Just weird that I have lost no weight. Not stressing, just an observation. Whatever. Now my goal before Sunday is to find an electrolyte gel replacement since I gag at the texture. Will have to take a trip to the running store and find something to chew instead. James said some people do peanut butter, in the little individual servings that you can buy. Something with some carbs, little protein and easy to digest. Who would have thought there is so much that goes into planning to run 13 miles?

What in the world have I gotten myself in to? Feeling a bit like I am in over my head.....but I am in it so I better just get with it! And thankfully, only two more days of school this week......*SIGH*

A Couple of FIRSTS

Me and Steph, at mile 3 of 7

First day of Kindergarten

Sunday, Steph and I had a goal of 6 miles. I had in my head that we would do 7 because I didn't quite get to 6 on the hills the previous Sunday. The first 3 were so hard, my endurance felt like it was in the toilet. Had to walk more than I hoped. We got to mile 3, and these nice men on bikes offered to take our picture. The plan was to turn around and head back, but I had to go to the bathroom and the closest one was at the 3.5 mile marker, so off we ran. Should have taken a picture at that one.

We stopped to use the bathroom and to take in some Gu. Now I have been avoiding the stuff, seemed like it would be kinda gross, but both Bob and Steph said I need to try different electrolyte sources before the race to see what worked for me. So we opened up our packs of Gu, I took one thick, gooey swig and man, my gag reflexes almost did me in! The stuff is not that bad tasting, but the TEXTURE - I just could NOT do it. So now I  need to try something else, something to chew or drink, I don't know. But the thick gel - AIN'T happening.

We headed back, and I am noticing that I do better, longer, on the latter part of my runs. I pushed through to each half mile, walking steps in between for a quick rest rather than several minutes. Steph ran ahead of me, allowing me to find a pace and groove that worked for me, but I felt like such a slow poke. We talked about how the more I walk, the longer my overall run will take, and I don't know if there is a time limit on this. I sure don't want to go 13 miles in 4 hours! So I have merely 6 weeks to step it up. Starting to panic now. We plan to stick to about 4 miles for each of our 2 weekday runs, then increase the Sunday runs. Liza suggested to me yesterday not to wait until the week before the event to do the big 12 mile run - not enough time to recover before the race, do it maybe 2 weeks before, I will talk to Steph and see what we should do.

I was feeling the hip flexor and a bit of knees as we neared the end. Definitely knew I would be feeling it. Got to the end, Steph yelping and cheering me on and I tell you, I was ready to collapse at her feet at the 7 mile marker. Pretty proud of myself. That is the farthest I have gone, did it in 1-1/2 hours. At this rate, though, I'm looking at well over 3 hours for this 1/2. Cripes.

Felt pretty serious heel pain later in the day. Iced the usual spots and added the heel, limped all the way to Danville for Alex's championship game. Won the 3rd tournament this summer! Boys feeling pretty good, and he played in 4 of the 5 games - at the Premier level, so he's on the mend but was pretty sore after each game. Getting his groove back, proud of my boy.

Heel is way better today. I think it's just the pounding. Hardly feel it today, so tomorrow, good to go.

Woke up at 3:30 am, mind racing with Cassie's first day and my first day as well. Then Cassie kept coughing so at 5am I gave her a treatment of albuterol with her nebulizer and she was better. Fell asleep at 5:30 only to have a very vivid dream of a major earthquake, the rolling sensation was so realistic, and then the sensation of falling off the edge of the earth. Knowing I couldn't get to Cassie at her school. Not the first time I have had the earthquake "dream", and the falling off sensation. Hate that dream.

Woke everyone up early. Got Cassie in her uniform with minimal problems, she took some nice shots before school. She said "Mommy, I'll miss you today!" Kissed me and sent me on my way, running in front of daddy to her classroom. My big girl. She really surprised me today with the lack of drama surrounding the whole event. Stupid me, though, thought she was getting out at 1:30 and didn't read the letter correctly, she got out at 1:00 and I was 20 minutes late! So totally embarrassed, in front of the principal and her teacher, my friend. Not acceptable, although they both assured me it was okay. Cassie was not the only one picked up late. She was so cool, not worried at all and thrilled to see me.

Two orientations went well, 25 students showed, 6 missing. We'll see if they come tomorrow. I worked till 4:30 just to get ready for today. I hate being behind in planning my week. I feel so isolated, though, without Janet to work "with". Raquel left me alone today, which is just as well. I do NOT want to help the one who tried to take my position! She can figure it out on her own. I've got enough to do on my own. Call me petty, but whatever. She has to earn my respect back.

Cassie is coughing a lot, she may not be able to go to school tomorrow, if she gets more sick. I am hoping it's just a cough and doesn't work in to a fever or something. I cannot call in sick on my first day with students! So if she is going to stay home, I will have to leave her at mom's and hope she doesn't get the other kids sick. Great timing, poor baby.

Lastly, we were getting frozen yogurt after school today and the lady in front of us was getting 4 big cups. Cassie turned to me with a thoughtful look and said, "Mommy, why is that woman getting CUATRO cups?" My baby, using Spanish on her first day :-)

The Longest Day EVER

UGH. What a day. Classroom is finally ready, not really for me to teach because I don't have to until Tuesday but just so I can have 2 parent orientations on Monday. I will get to meet the students, talk to their parents, have them fill out paperwork and send them home - twice. Had to split up the orientations, because there is no bloody way to fit 31 kids and 1 or 2 parents each in my room. So I have to miss Cassie's first entrance into Kindergarten so that I can rush to my school and deal with my own students.

The plan is to get all four of us to her school by 7:40am, kiss her and take a picture, then Franklin will stay with her on the playground  until school starts at 8:05 and I will be rushing Alexander off to high school before he starts at 8am, and them hopefully get myself to school no later than 8:05 because on the first day of school, parents always park in the lot, get there early and I need to get a parking space. I'm so sad to miss seeing her into her class, but Myra and I took her this morning, she got to peek inside her room and see her playground, and I showed Myra how to get there so when she begins taking her to school, she will know where to go.

The good news is I told my principal I would be picking her up on the first day since I don't get to take her, so I am leaving for an hour to do that, and it's okay if I am late for a staff meeting. Yay. I can't believe my baby is going to kindergarten. I am certain I will sob all the way to school and look like an insane crazy teacher to all my incoming students and their parents. Oh well, maybe some of them will leave and I won't have the 31 on my list :) Way to reduce my class size!!

Last night I didn't go on my run; Steph couldn't make it and I was dealing with Cassie and a major tantrum, so instead I went to the gym and did a Bosu ball strength workout with Diana. She has gotten better since the last time I took her class, and this one was a killer. Made me realize that I must get in at least a day of strength training once a week, because it was HARD. I am sore today, even with my anti-soreness supplements.

Sunday we are running 6 miles at Sawyer. I've only gone 5-1/2 and with only 6 weeks to go,  I wonder if I should try to push and do 6-1/2 or 7.

Crap, I hear my washing machine making funny noises. A load is halfway done, full of water before the spin cycle. This can't be happening right now when I have a ton of laundry to do, plus no more days off to have a service call. AAAAHHHHH. Now I will have to wring out each item and somehow get them washed. I hate laundromats.

I'm taking a hot bath. I've had it today. Thank goodness Cassie is being an angel.

~Personal Best~

Matching toes

First Manicure

Matching fingers

I am BEAT. Totally Beat. I put in over 19 miles this week. ON MY FEET. Wow. This is what I do with my only week off. But I wouldn't have it any other way, other than to have another week off! On Thursday Stephanie was still not feeling well so we walked the mile and half to her condo and then Bob and I took off running. Did 5.35 miles! Bob had me sprint the last block. I felt like one of those junker cars that start to shake at high speeds.....like a body part was going to fall off!! Felt good when I was done, though.

Today, we were doing a San Carlos Hills run, starting at Bob's house. I was the only one to show up! We had planned to do 6 miles. Boy, when he said hills, he meant hills! And he didn't even take me on the really steep ones! I thought going down hill would be easier; it's actually harder - you have to go on the balls of your feet, slowly. I could feel it in my knees and lower back. I got so lost, we went so far, it seemed. Because I didn't have Steph's Garmin GPS watch, we went back and drove it and it was 5.3 miles! But with the hills, I'm considering it my personal best!! I actually impressed myself because driving it, it really was a tough run. Of course I had to walk some of the hills, but Bob did make me run up a really steep one as far as I could before walking and I got more than halfway. And he made me run the last 2 blocks without stopping, even though I was so tired. The last mile or so was flat and it was SO much easier, after spending an hour and a half on hills!

Got home, took Advil, iced my knees and back, rolled my muscles and curled up under a blanket for 2 hours and watched tv. Figured, what the hell. I haven't been lazy ALL summer. Wanted to take a nap but Miss Cassie was all over my lap so.....at least I erased some DVR shows that have been on there since May.

Definitely feeling the aches now, though. My back is better, it's my knee and my left heel. Hope that goes away. I am just really in awe of what my body is allowing me to do. Many of the people I am running with are older than me, and I cannot use the excuse that I am too old to do this. Yes, it's tough on my knees and my body. But then I get back out there, run some more, run farther, longer, harder, higher, and while I moan and groan, I am amazed when I am done. Coming from a totally non-physical upbringing, this amazes me. 40+ years of not being physically active, and my lovely body is being so forgiving, considering what I am putting it through. I weighed myself, have not lost any recently, actually gained a few. I can't believe it's muscles, because I have been gaining muscles, but maybe they are different muscles. I sure as hell feel different ones that are sore. Or they are being redistributed differently. I'll measure myself this week to see. My clothes don't feel any looser, though. The funny thing is, I'm not upset about it at all. It's just an observation. I know the pounds will eventually keep coming off, they better with all this running!

Friday Cassie and I met Janet and we went to have a nail day. Cassie LOVED getting her fingers and toes done, like mommy. I let her choose the colors - my nails are now fluorescent green and my toes are a shimmery red with flowers on the big toes. She points them out to everyone she comes across! Then we went to Peet's for coffee, and then left Janet and picked up Franklin and went out to lunch. She then went with daddy to her first miniature golfing adventure while I had an hour and a half massage - much better this time, definitely a deep tissue. I needed that~heck, I need another one right now!

Mourning the loss of summer, and the fact that I have one more day off before I go back to work. Tomorrow Alexander and I go to yoga, then he has his arena check in day where he gets his picture taken, id card and classes. School for him starts Wednesday - my big sophomore!!

Where has the time gone? A 10th grader and a kindergartner. Sheesh.

Keeping Busy on my Vacation

Whew. My first week off (and last) is halfway over and I am soooo tired. Today was spent getting up extra early and dragging Cassie to San Jose to meet our attorney Laura at the court house to finalize papers that will give Cassie her settlement from our gravel truck car accident. The stupid thing is that the judge had to approve the orders from our insurance company which states that the money she gets goes into a blocked bank account till she is 18. That's not the stupid part. The stupid part is it is only $2700!! If it were 10K I could see. What good is all this for less than $3000? and the interest she will earn, at least at this point, is so minimal that by the time she is 18, what is this going to do for her? Ugh. Just so frustrated. Now we are waiting for our insurance company to settle on my case, which is not a lot more. So much for almost getting killed on the freeway - I wasn't looking for 100K, just justice from the idiot driver who caused my accident. 2 years later, and I barely get double what Cassie got. I'm just upset that I don't even get to pay off the van I had to buy when my car was totaled. Whatever. I am moving on, it's not about the money, it's about how Mercury insurance, my insurance company for over 20 years, has handled this case and a longtime client who had no fault in the accident.

Anyway, I am now stronger and healthier than I was at the time of the accident so it doesn't really matter. I am thankful to be here, be on the path that I am, and preparing for this 1/2.

Sunday, Stephanie was too sick to go run so I went to the picture at the top, Water Dog Lake park in Belmont. James and Bob were there and I met 5 more members of the Still Making Strides team, which I am now a part of! James is the captain and he had come the day before and chalk marked the trails so that we wouldn't get lost, and it was 6 miles, my goal for the day. Well, they all took off running, and me being the slowest, was left to fend for myself. While it was peaceful, it was also kinda creepy and I don't think I like running out there in the boonies with no one else, snakes and mountain lions. I did run from the beginning of the trail to the lake without stopping, and running on a trail is totally different than on pavement. I had to keep my eyes down to not trip on roots or rocks. I have NEW muscles that are sore today!! At the top of the hill, I took a few pictures and the one above is the second half, looking across at the trail that I ran down at the beginning. As I am running (and walking, especially up the steep narrow trails) I notice a fork where on the left it went up a steep hill and on the right, wider and going down. James had said if there were no chalk arrows, I could go either way, so I chose the wider trail. Mistake. That must have been a shortcut, because only 45 minutes after I started, I came back to the beginning, and there is  NO way that was 6 miles. I didn't know what to do, since I had beat the entire team back (another clue that I cut through) so I jogged back and forth up and down the trail, texted Steph to see if I should wait or leave, ran up and back the beginning trail, finally ran into  James and told him what had happened. He was apologetic, the chalk must have rubbed off, so I said goodbye and left.

I decided to go to Marlin Park, where Franklin was coaching a scrimmage, and run around there since it is where I run during the week. I tell ya, on my way down Ralston, I contemplated stopping at Starbucks and going to the field to watch the game, but I stopped myself and went straight to the field. I checked in with Franklin, ran around the park block, up and down the field, and got in another 45 minutes of running, for a total of about 1-1/2 hours. Pretty proud of myself that I did it with no one pushing me again. No clue how many miles I went. I need to get a Garmin 405 GPS watch like Stephanie has, so if I am running without her, I can track my miles. Hers is pretty cool, tracks miles, speed, pauses when you pause, heartrate, etc. About $275. When I get my settlement, before I bank it, I am getting one, plus an iPhone4. Those are my gifts for all the crap I went through!

Monday, after meeting with Laura to sign the papers, we went on an impromptu walk at Sawyer camp trail. Cassie had her bike, and we dragged Alexander kicking and screaming, practically. He moaned and groaned most of the way out and back! Don't let the photo above fool you. We did 3 miles, the whole family and Cassie was so happy to be riding her bike next to me as I jogged. She was a trooper, but fell off a couple of times. The second time she became a drama queen and had to be carried back part of the way by her brother, then her dad, then she rode the rest of the way.

Tuesday, Stephanie was still not 100% so we decided to walk instead of run. I was able to bring Cassie along, and we did 3 miles, with Cassie riding the ENTIRE way, non stop except for a 5 minute break at a playground! She was amazing. Last night, though, she complained that her legs hurt, so I used my new lovely Stick and rolled her muscles out. She laughed her head off, took some Motrin and was good to go. I love how I am modeling an active lifestyle for her.

Tomorrow, another busy day. Dentist appointment for me, Despicable Me with Cassie and daddy, Kindergarten shots for Cassie (notice we are doing this after the movie, probably should be the other way around!) then my Thursday run.

Friday Cassie and I are doing, as I promised her, a big girl mani/pedi + lunch with Janet. Can't wait to catch up with her. Seems like forever since I've seen her! Shop for school supplies, ATTEMPT to get her into some uniforms. Then an HOUR AND A HALF MASSAGE!!!! YAY!!! Hope it's better than the last one, requested a therapist that Mom had and she said she was strong. I need some serious deep tissue work.

What I wouldn't give for a week off with nothing planned. This is my curse, though. I chose to work all summer, so now I am doing things that I didn't have time to do. Oh well. Just REALLY not ready to start a whole new school year. Blah.

~~~In the ZONE~~~

I finally entered the "ZONE". I remember getting in the zone during Body Combat.....I could hear Alex's voice, his commands and directions, but I was unable to focus on anything by my vision in the mirror an the moves of my body.

Last night on my run, I experienced my runner's "ZONE". Stephanie was sick and although I asked if I should just run on the treadmill, she said I should go run with the others. I reluctantly went on the run with Bob and Marguerita, not because I don't like them, but because I am still in my comfort zone running with Steph as moral support every step, right beside me. The others are so much more advanced and I feel guilty holding them back with my tortoise-like- pace. They assure me it's okay, but I am not at the point where I completely believe them! The last time I ran with them, even though they ran a bit ahead of me, they checked back and waited for me at each stop light, etc. At the final stretch, they ran ahead and I felt very alone, running by myself.

So last night I was dreading it a bit. Franklin and Cassie dropped me off at Nob Hill and met Bob and Marguerita, then went off to Marlin Park to pick up Eric and wait until I was finished at 7:30. We would run right through the park, say hi and then run back to the strip mall for a 3.5 mile loop. We started off, and usually Steph and I walk to the stop light, so we warmed up a bit (about .25 miles). Then we crossed the street and started running, and I have been able to run from that stoplight to the first stoplight non stop for a few runs. That is .5 miles. So we ran, and of course I was a bit behind them, and we got to Marlin Park. I saw Cassie riding her bike, took her to the bathroom with me, and then we took off again. I told Franklin as I ran off to meet me at the starting point at 7:30.

We started running from the beginning of the soccer field, and usually I can run from there, past the tennis courts to the street. The others were in front of me, so I ran behind them and when I got to the street, thought I would just keep going. I rounded the corner, and thought that I would just go to the first corner and then walk across the street. I kept running. Then I thought I would get to the next corner, which is where I would turn right and begin the home stretch (about 3-4 long blocks) before the shopping center. Well, each corner I would get to, I would think to myself that I would stop and walk across, then continue. I just never stopped. I kept amazing myself by running across the street, and then once I got to the next corner, would think, well, why not keep going to the next corner. So I did. Till I reached the stoplight, cursed it because it was red, then lo and behold, it turned green for me to cross, so I did and kept going to the starting point. It was such a strange feeling. I was running, at my own slow pace, and while nothing hurt on my body, I had for so long trained myself to just get to the next corner, and without Steph there to push me, all of a sudden I was pushing myself. Normally I would continue to hit the same landmarks and walk. I started having this conversation with myself, not even in my head, but actually out loud "Can you make it to the stop sign? Sure you can! Keep running! Get across the street, don't stop! Can you make it to the next corner? YES! Do it! Can you get to the end? YES!" and so on , talking to myself. I must have gotten some strange looks, this crazy, sweaty woman talking to herself while running.

The strange thing is I usually rely on others to push me, to motivate me, to coach me. Yes, I am the one doing the work but there is always someone egging me on, encouraging me, whether in the gym or on the streets. Last night, it was ME egging me on. And it felt so cool. I have been thinking I could do this 1/2 marathon, set that goal, hoped I could do it. I am still SO FAR away from 13 miles. But last night when I made it to the starting point, I actually BELIEVED I could do it. I went back today and tracked it with my car, and as near as I can figure, I ran a FULL MILE without stopping, without anyone pushing me to do it. It was such a high, knowing that I did it ALL ON MY OWN. Wow. So cool. May not sound like much, just 1 mile, to experienced runners, but it was only my 6th run ever, and for me, a mile non-stop is a bloody miracle.

Then my runner's high was shot down as I waited for Franklin and Cassie to pick me up. We made it back to the store at 7:35, just 5 minutes past when I told him to be there. So I'm waiting. Stretching. Sent the others home because I was certain he would be there any minute. Waiting. It's getting cold, I'm cooling off. I'm freezing. I'm pacing. I go into Nob Hill to get warm. I had left my phone, $$ in the car because I didn't run with my belt, just carried a small water with me to see if it made a difference on my back. I couldn't call. I felt completely stranded.

He pulls up at 8:05. A full 30 minutes past when I told him to be there. At this point, I am so LIVID because I had also gone through a period of being truly concerned that something happened, and I here I am without my phone, and a young child who wouldn't know what to do if something happened to her daddy, etc etc etc. So I go from worry to being fully pissed and when he finally pulls up, I am shaking with anger and cannot even speak. Eric and Kevin were with him and I couldn't even acknowledge them. Franklin tries to blame Cassie, saying she didn't want to leave the park, and she says "No Mommy, it was Daddy's fault, he was talking too much!" I haven't been that furious at him in a long time. We picked up Alex from the other soccer field and went to eat pupusas, my favorite. By that time, I was in serious pain - I was having some kind of gas pains, I guess, and my belly hurt so bad that I couldn't even eat. I drank a 7 up, the bubbles helped, but I don't know if it was from running (never felt that) or all the anger built up in me from after my run. All I know is that I will never have him drop me off for a run again - he lost track of time talking soccer and kept profusely apologizing to me, but I will never be left stranded and helpless again. It sucked. I told him if he were late getting to the finish line at my marathon, that would be IT.

Today I got one big project done - the bedroom. Cleaned, dusted, and went through all of Cassie's clothes, got bags to donate, and rearranged furniture. Vacuumed the whole house, did dishes, some laundry, had a mammogram, and made Franklin take me out to eat pupusas again, since I was never able to eat last night.

Tomorrow maybe I can tackle the toys. Get into the "de-clutter ZONE". I would be so happy to get there.

FINALLY FINISHED!!!

Ahhhhhh.......finally finished with school....for 10 days. That really sucks. Bites the big one. Crap.
Okay, I got it out. I could have said no. Totally my choice to work longer than the summer program, yeah, needed the money, blah blah blah. I will be VERY happy on August 31 when I get that $$. That $$ will be necessary to help with the $$ I am losing this school year by the district cutting all teachers salary by 6 days.
So I just worked an extra 8 days to make the same amount of $$ next year. Whatever. Spent time today also sorting through the 35 kindergarten registrations for English and forming my class.....got some doosies coming in.....oh Janet, where are you when I need a laugh?? Was not the same doing it without you....*sniff sniff*

But for now......relax. Sort of. I have a list in my head of things I want to accomplish. go through and donate Cassie's small clothes and toys (that alone would probably take me a week), clean the house, get a mani/pedi and massage, run and work out, get an estimate done on the van from the wench that backed into me back in MARCH (I've been busy!!), shop for new uniforms for Cassie for Kindergarten, install Rosetta Stone and begin to learn Spanish, clean out the DVR (but that would require that I sit on my butt and watch TV for HOURS, sleep, swim with the kids, I don't know, do something FUN. All in 10 days. It is really foolish, to think that I will actually get those things done when what I really want to do is what Franklin and Alexander did all summer....NOTHING.

But that's not my style anymore. One of the benefits I have found (or maybe it's not a benefit, but a downside!!) to becoming fitter (?) or more fit is that I can't seem to sit still for long. I have a hard time just sitting and watching tv or a movie (at home) because there is always something to be done. It kinda drives me crazy to be inactive and lazy. I'm sure the lazy gene is still in me, like right now I just want to sit and veg on the sofa but no, here I am writing. It feeds my mind and soul, like exercise does. I do seem to have issues with balance, though, so I need to give myself permission to rest......sigh......why is this so difficult??!!


So last Sunday Arleen came and joined me and Steph on our run. Totally bummed because Sawyer Camp Trail was closed due to a bike race and we had to turn around and go to Redwood shores, but oh well. I'm nothing if not flexible! Poor ladies....had to slow down to keep up with me! We set a goal of 5 miles and did 5.35 miles! It was either the longer distance or my water belt (which isn't THAT heavy, just 2 small bottles of water, my cell phone and keys) but my lower back started bugging me, as well as my knees and hip. Stopped twice to stretch, did more walking than I had hoped, but my endurance is better and I am able to run longer in between walks. The next day, though, WOW. My knees kept creaking and cracking, no real pain, it's similar to when I was really ramping up the group fitness classes and my knees started aching - my chiropractor said it was over use, not anything serious. Feels the same, although I think a trip to him is in order just to check in. I am thinking that I need to look into knee braces to help support them. Hopefully that will enable me to run longer.

This sport, which is supposed to be cheap, has proven so far to be quite costly!! Maybe I am a sucker for all the paraphernalia that comes with the sport, but from shoes, socks, new sports bra, undies, 2 short sleeve tops, 1 long sleeve top, a belt for water/etc, custom fitted shoe inserts, body glide (to glide on all those potentially chafing locations), foam roller, a FABULOUS STICK for rolling out those muscles, sunglasses (that are not prescription like my driving glasses that kept falling off my face with the sweat, just polarized), and samples of various nutritional supplements for hydrating, recovering, endurance, soreness..............I can't even write how much I have spent. I even have samples that Steph gave me of different gels and gu's that I haven't tried yet because they just seem gross - you carry these packets of gel that provide energy during long runs, to keep you from bonking (another term that I learned).But I know that now that I have all the basics, all I will be spending on will be the nutritional stuff. Who knew that plain old H2O is not good enough to replenish electrolytes, help muscles recover, provide endurance, rid my muscles of lactic acid.......ugh it's a complete education, this running thing. Kinda cool, though. Today as I was driving home I saw no fewer than 5 runners and each one I had to check out their form, how they were holding their arms, their stride, what they were wearing, where they were running, it's like a sickness now  :-)

Last night, Tuesday, I had the pleasure of going to the gym for a VERSION of my old beloved Les Mills classes. Steph had new dog issues so rather than going running without her (and my knees were cranky anyway), I opted to go to Crunch and take "Cardio Tai Box" and "Ultimate Conditioning" with none other than Kimi!! So while it was Alex's old night, I was so happy to see Kimi and to once again be punching, hitting and kicking, under the guise of Crunch's class. Her moves are authentic and I missed combat moves so much, she even did some moves from my favorite pirate track! The conditioning class, while not Body Pump, kicked my A$$ big time and was actually hard for me. I haven't done any strength training for a week and a half and it's amazing that in that short a time, my body had a hard time. It brought home to me that it is SO important for me to get the cross training in while I am preparing for this marathon. If I can run three days a week, then do yoga twice, and at least once a week strength training, I will be good to go.

Now I am just so tired, I look forward to sleeping in a bit for a week, but I can't get too used to a summer schedule since I will turn around and have to be up early. Time to go to some doctor/dentist appointments I have been putting off, the dumb car thing, and hopefully some energy to sort through clothes and toys and purge some clutter.....free my mind........nurture my body and soul.....sounds so good..........must get started RIGHT NOW........or not. Tomorrow will be soon enough.