or at least I am not a virgin anymore!! I have yet to teach a full class, but that will come in just a few days. And the way I feel right now, like I could fall asleep at the computer, well, you would have thought I just ran my half marathon!! I am wiped out. Probably because I woke up at 3:26 this morning and slept fitfully till 7:30.
The first one is in the books. I need to document, of course, so that I don't forget a single moment of it.....and since I forgot to take ANY photos at all, I will rely on this account to never forget my first class ever as an instructor and not merely a participant.
Got up and got ready, and since the entire family was coming along, had to get them up and out of the house on time. Didn't happen, of course, with the kids. Tomorrow they are not coming so I can get there a bit earlier. Started to get really anxious the closer we got to the gym, but strangely, as soon as I walked in the door, I felt better. Punched in (gotta memorize my employee number, took me forever to get logged in) and saw Kerry there talking to the membership guy Kevin, and Stephanie was there warming up.
As soon as yoga ended, I went in the Group X room and people started coming in to get set up. It was weird having extra time to set up, talk and get ready because we are always frantically getting set up and starting right away. There was a personal trainer there because we had to explain that there was a special going on for new members. Rosa did the technique portion of the class and I modeled, then I put on the microphone and with heart pounding and body shaking, I began.
I was so conscious of the fact that I was shaking that I couldn't even enjoy the lyrics to a song that is close to my heart. I know I messed up the chorey in the middle but it didn't show, kept going and finished. Squats - more energetic, Stephanie - bless her heart was close to the front, whooping and cheering and smiling the whole time. Chest was good but Alex was right - when you are on your back, it is hard to coach - you can't see anyone, whenever I turned my head the damned mic kept shifting, it was hard. But chorey wise, I nailed it cause it was one of the tracks I presented in training. Back - love that track but I think I could have done better with motivational cues. Triceps - need to coach it better, although it was a fun track and I could see everyone squirming in pain (hahaha) but Deb and Kristin said that when we did tricep pushups, they noticed newbies doing regular pushups so I need to be more explicit when setting them up. I noticed that there was a lady directly in front of me that was doing her own thing - feet up in the air while on her knees during the pushups - and all I could do was reiterate that the toes are on the floor. Rosa was walking around correcting form while I taught.
Then Rosa took over from biceps on, and I was able to help a couple of people with form, and I think I may have irritated her a bit because she was not going to coach using the bench top for lunges because they slide a bit but our AGXM said to just be careful, so I reminded her about the bench tops and she look a bit peeved. Oh well. Who am I to do something different than what LM wants? I figure we need to give them all the options, and they can choose to use them or not.
It was really irritating, as an instructor, to see so many people putting away equipment during abs. I get it now. I wish people would just focus on the workout and worry about the clean up later.
Finishing the class, Rosa asked me to do the cool down, which was great because I noticed everyone stretching. Usually we don't have a chance to cool down. We did it in an hour, so I am hopeful that I will not have to cut any tracks in my own class. Of course we started right on time because we had set up before the class actually started. It will be a challenge but Andre, the hip hop instructor before me, told me he doesn't mind if we come in the room and pull equipment 10 minutes before our class and keep it to the back and sides, then just move into the room once he is done. So hopefully we can start on time and get out before Zumba begins.
Stephanie helped me clean up because so many people kept coming up to me. I have done that for my instructors and let me tell you, it was so helpful today. It will be tough getting cleaned up and out for the next class.
Stephanie H's husband Tim is a member and he and Franklin were watching us through the window. Alexander did at times but he spent most of his time in the Kid Care room watching Cassie because he doesn't trust anyone else to watch her. Thank goodness Franklin was out there - I went in to class with only half a bottle of water and it was not enough. My mouth got so dry with the teaching that I had to run out and have him fill my bottle while Rosa was teaching. Lesson learned - full bottle for class.
The mic kept going out like it does with everyone else. I had to keep moving back and forth to get it to work. So annoying. But the girls said the volume was good so I will just need to find the right spot.
When I was finished and went out to see them, Deb and Kristin were talking to Franklin and Alex, telling them what a great job I did. Stephanie said I was a natural - I don't know about that, but it felt good. She did comment that when I was not teaching, but just modeling technique, to watch the grimacing look of pain on my face - it may scare the newbies and to smile more! I do remember, though, that when I noticed the instructors working hard, it helped me not to feel like I was the only one struggling.
We went out for breakfast, and I asked Franklin how I looked in the front of the room, if I looked fat, etc etc etc. He laughed and said he even told Alexander that I looked fit and buffed. Hahaha!! I am sure THAT'S not the case! I'll have to ask the girls tomorrow for their honest opinion!! It was strange not to be able to see myself in the mirror - I always do to check form but I just had to trust I was doing it the right way. Can't imagine how big my butt must have looked in the mirror.
I've spent most of the afternoon in my chair under a blanket, on FB or trying to blog. I am amazingly exhausted, and beginning to get sore. Huh? I didn't use my usual weight, in fact went lower than I planned on several tracks because Rosa helped switch my weights while I was demonstrating. I think the lack of sleep plus the anticipation of this first class has caught up with me. Good thing my class is at 11:30 tomorrow so I can sleep in a bit.
All in all, I am so happy the first class is done. I really do cherish the experience, I will never have my first time ever again. Of course, I will have my first solo class on Thursday, so that will be a whole other "first" that I have to look forward to.....
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Last Night of .........
the old me. It is officially the last night that I will be merely a participant in the greatest fitness program around. It is the last night that I will be just Kristy. It is the last night that I will say I am just "going to the gym in the morning."
For now, or at least at 9:15 tomorrow morning, I will be a BodyPump instructor. For real. Officially. Oh WOW. It seems like, FEELS like, I have been preparing for this moment for a very long time. In reality, only a few weeks have passed since I decided to pursue this crazy dream of mine. It was November 14 that I initially signed up for the BP training, and only 2 weeks or so before that when I began seriously considering even doing it. That is only 8 weeks. Since I passed the BP training module, it's only been 5 weeks.
Now, tomorrow, less than 12 hours from now, I will officially teach my first class. Okay, in reality, I am team teaching with Rosa, and I will teach tracks 1-5: warm up, squats, chest, back, triceps. On Sunday, I team teach with Kristin, tracks 5-10: triceps, biceps, lunges, shoulders, abs and cool down. And I have actually been given my own class. Beginning next Thursday, January 13, I will be the regular instructor for the 6:30 class. OMG.
What's freaking me out just a bit (I am actually surprised I am not in full Kristy Freak Out Mode right now) is the fact that I have not used a microphone yet. I know, I know, Alex, that I should have done that but when the only access to one that I have is the one in the club, how am I supposed to try it out if I have never taught before? So that's the only thing concerning me. Rosa is teaching the Technique portion right before the class, so I will know that the mic works, then I will use it for my tracks and just hope I don't blow everyone's ear drums out.
I have been feeling off all day, stomach nerves I suppose, and I am really tired but I am so excited about tomorrow. I am sad that I probably will not make it to SF to team with Alex at 11:30 because my class ends at 10:30 and although I will try to rush out, I can imagine, since I have friends coming to try the class, that I will chatting afterward. I have some regular pumpers coming both days, Franklin and a co-worker and childhood FB friend coming tomorrow. Sunday is going to be a party - 9 BP regulars, 4 teacher friends and anyone else I can entice from FB to come along. I simply cannot wait to share with my co-workers the program that I am so passionate about. They have been listening to me talk about it for so long, now they can finally see why it's so near and dear to my heart. And to move from a fellow participant with my BP friends to their instructor? Weird but so cool. I know that they will all give me honest, constructive feedback which I think is rare and very, very necessary and welcome.
Today at work was a WASTE of time. I was not present at all, our science presenters bailed, screwing up my plans for part of the day. I had BP on the brain all day, nerves, and I just wanted the day to be over. I was amazingly patient with the kids, but my heart was not in it. Thank god they are such forgiving little people, loving me no matter what my mood.
My principal is beginning another Principal's Challenge, like the one she did last January that sparked the fire in me. What is interesting this year is that while I want to participate, I have no idea what to put down for my goals. I don't have a weight goal anymore, although I still need to lose more weight. I don't have an exercise goal per se, other than needing to begin training for the 1/2 in April, passing my BP video by March, and getting better at instructing. But how do I put those goals down on paper and up on the staff room wall? It's not like last year - 10 pounds and get in the gym 3 days a week. It's not as concrete, it's more personal. Sure I could put down lose 10 pounds. That definitely needs to happen. But will it happen with all the strength training I am and will be doing? I haven't lost any weight in months. I am already in the gym as much as I really want to be. So I can only think of dietary goals, like I really need to increase my water intake. Always hard for me in the winter. And increase my cardio. I've been doing so much BP and not enough cardio. So maybe those will be my two goals. And by spring break, when the challenge is over, the 1/2 will be over, so maybe I can drop those 10 pounds.
I was so easily distracted today. So here I go......need to go to sleep and stop overthinking this launch. I am ready. I know I am. I went through an entire class run through tonight, with Cassie as my willing participant. She cracked me up. Put on her Snow White costume to work out. I insisted she would not be comfortable. Noooo, she insisted. Where did she get this stubborness from? Hmm? Of course, she put it on, started crying about how uncomfortable it was (duh) and took it off. Then she came out of the bedroom with her princess bathing suit on, a silver head band and Ariel earrings and sparkly lip gloss. Good lord, is this my child? All she needed was a pair of leg warmers.
So she took my Stick as her barbell, I grabbed the adjustable duster bar, and off we went. By the time track 2 was half over, she was complaining that she couldn't do it so we took a break. We continued later, on the floor doing chest and then she kept up with me till triceps, just watched me do it on the coffee table, did biceps and lunges with me (the whole time I am trying not to laugh my head off) and ignored me during shoulders, but hung out for abs and cool down. She cracks me up.
I made a couple of mistakes but knew it instantly - second guessed myself instead of just going with my gut and the music flow. But I feel confident that with the music surrounding me in the big room, that I am going to be okay. Nervous but at home.
I am ready. Ready to become an instructor. Ready to motivate others. Ready to amaze myself. Ready to take it to the next level. Ready to teach and inspire. Ready to.......just ready.
Now off to bed. Wish me luck.
For now, or at least at 9:15 tomorrow morning, I will be a BodyPump instructor. For real. Officially. Oh WOW. It seems like, FEELS like, I have been preparing for this moment for a very long time. In reality, only a few weeks have passed since I decided to pursue this crazy dream of mine. It was November 14 that I initially signed up for the BP training, and only 2 weeks or so before that when I began seriously considering even doing it. That is only 8 weeks. Since I passed the BP training module, it's only been 5 weeks.
Now, tomorrow, less than 12 hours from now, I will officially teach my first class. Okay, in reality, I am team teaching with Rosa, and I will teach tracks 1-5: warm up, squats, chest, back, triceps. On Sunday, I team teach with Kristin, tracks 5-10: triceps, biceps, lunges, shoulders, abs and cool down. And I have actually been given my own class. Beginning next Thursday, January 13, I will be the regular instructor for the 6:30 class. OMG.
What's freaking me out just a bit (I am actually surprised I am not in full Kristy Freak Out Mode right now) is the fact that I have not used a microphone yet. I know, I know, Alex, that I should have done that but when the only access to one that I have is the one in the club, how am I supposed to try it out if I have never taught before? So that's the only thing concerning me. Rosa is teaching the Technique portion right before the class, so I will know that the mic works, then I will use it for my tracks and just hope I don't blow everyone's ear drums out.
I have been feeling off all day, stomach nerves I suppose, and I am really tired but I am so excited about tomorrow. I am sad that I probably will not make it to SF to team with Alex at 11:30 because my class ends at 10:30 and although I will try to rush out, I can imagine, since I have friends coming to try the class, that I will chatting afterward. I have some regular pumpers coming both days, Franklin and a co-worker and childhood FB friend coming tomorrow. Sunday is going to be a party - 9 BP regulars, 4 teacher friends and anyone else I can entice from FB to come along. I simply cannot wait to share with my co-workers the program that I am so passionate about. They have been listening to me talk about it for so long, now they can finally see why it's so near and dear to my heart. And to move from a fellow participant with my BP friends to their instructor? Weird but so cool. I know that they will all give me honest, constructive feedback which I think is rare and very, very necessary and welcome.
Today at work was a WASTE of time. I was not present at all, our science presenters bailed, screwing up my plans for part of the day. I had BP on the brain all day, nerves, and I just wanted the day to be over. I was amazingly patient with the kids, but my heart was not in it. Thank god they are such forgiving little people, loving me no matter what my mood.
My principal is beginning another Principal's Challenge, like the one she did last January that sparked the fire in me. What is interesting this year is that while I want to participate, I have no idea what to put down for my goals. I don't have a weight goal anymore, although I still need to lose more weight. I don't have an exercise goal per se, other than needing to begin training for the 1/2 in April, passing my BP video by March, and getting better at instructing. But how do I put those goals down on paper and up on the staff room wall? It's not like last year - 10 pounds and get in the gym 3 days a week. It's not as concrete, it's more personal. Sure I could put down lose 10 pounds. That definitely needs to happen. But will it happen with all the strength training I am and will be doing? I haven't lost any weight in months. I am already in the gym as much as I really want to be. So I can only think of dietary goals, like I really need to increase my water intake. Always hard for me in the winter. And increase my cardio. I've been doing so much BP and not enough cardio. So maybe those will be my two goals. And by spring break, when the challenge is over, the 1/2 will be over, so maybe I can drop those 10 pounds.
I was so easily distracted today. So here I go......need to go to sleep and stop overthinking this launch. I am ready. I know I am. I went through an entire class run through tonight, with Cassie as my willing participant. She cracked me up. Put on her Snow White costume to work out. I insisted she would not be comfortable. Noooo, she insisted. Where did she get this stubborness from? Hmm? Of course, she put it on, started crying about how uncomfortable it was (duh) and took it off. Then she came out of the bedroom with her princess bathing suit on, a silver head band and Ariel earrings and sparkly lip gloss. Good lord, is this my child? All she needed was a pair of leg warmers.
So she took my Stick as her barbell, I grabbed the adjustable duster bar, and off we went. By the time track 2 was half over, she was complaining that she couldn't do it so we took a break. We continued later, on the floor doing chest and then she kept up with me till triceps, just watched me do it on the coffee table, did biceps and lunges with me (the whole time I am trying not to laugh my head off) and ignored me during shoulders, but hung out for abs and cool down. She cracks me up.
I made a couple of mistakes but knew it instantly - second guessed myself instead of just going with my gut and the music flow. But I feel confident that with the music surrounding me in the big room, that I am going to be okay. Nervous but at home.
I am ready. Ready to become an instructor. Ready to motivate others. Ready to amaze myself. Ready to take it to the next level. Ready to teach and inspire. Ready to.......just ready.
Now off to bed. Wish me luck.
Friday, December 31, 2010
The End of a Momentus Year
I feel a bit sad today. Not just because it's my dad's birthday, and since he has been gone, I spend the day remembering him and how we spent his birthday in years past. Mostly, as I got older and had kids, just taking him out for a meal or spending a couple of hours with him, then leaving to do our own thing. In hindsight, I wish I had spent more time with him, not just on his birthday but in general. He loved me so much, and I took for granted that he would always be there, and now he's not, and regret is a terrible emotion. I know he would be so proud of me right now, and how far I have come. We were fellow couch potatoes, sedentary to a fault, and after my parent's divorce, as a kid, we would spend time together eating, going to the movies or watching tv.
As he got older and had more health problems, mobility was not much of an option for him, and he spent most of his days in front of the tv, able to move around with a walker, and then the last year, on a scooter. It became difficult to take him anywhere because it was so hard for him to move around. I don't want to spend the last two hours of this decade remembering the tough times for him, but it's hard when his birthday is always at the end of the year to not reflect in some ways.
After he died, of complications from diabetes, congestive heart failure, heart attack, etc. I began on my journey. I had just turned 40, had lost dad the summer before, and didn't want to end up like him healthwise. Because of him, and all the pain he suffered, I wanted to make a change for me, for my children, for my future. I wish he were alive to know how much he influenced me. I know he knows it, I know he has helped me while I have gone through this transformation, but I still can't help but wish that he were here to really see it. I have felt his presence many times, and I have drawn on that strength to get me through some tough times.
I feel so reflective tonight, and we just got home after a long day out. I left the house at 7:30 am to drive to San Jose and take BodyCombat and BodyFlow with Donna, and it was so much fun to finally meet her and get to know another member of my new Les Mills family. Then I stopped at 24 Hour Fitness and spoke to Chris, who checked and saw that my background check had cleared (on Christmas Eve!! which means I am now an official employee and can teach!) I came home, made breakfast, we then went to the mall to exchange some Christmas gifts and then Cassie and I went for long overdue manicures and I got a much needed pedicure. Alexander is at a friend's house for a party, which is strange because we always spend NYE together. That family invited us over for the festivities but I just want to stay home, get in my jammies and stay warm. I am in a very reflective mood because of the kind of year I have had and I just want to write whatever comes to mind.
I think back to 2000. The beginning of the new millennium. 10 years ago. Where the hell did the time go? So much has happened these last 10 years. 10 years ago was a lifetime ago from where I am at this moment. I was working for a dot-com as a Senior Project Manager. Alexander was only 6 years old. So much has happened since then....
*Tim, my brother's best friend from elementary school, was in a car accident with his wife Theresa and their son Mathew, 2 on 1-1-01 and was killed in that accident. It is impossible to fathom that was 10 years ago tomorrow. I still remember vividly the phone call from my brother, remember the pain that followed for everyone. And in the years since then, more changes. Ron falling in love with and marrying his best friend's wife, becoming a dad to Mathew, blending the families together. Can't imagine our family without them in our lives now.
*Getting laid off from my job after spending 4 months as a juror on a murder trial, causing me to put in action the steps to go back to school, get my credential and become a teacher.
*Being diagnosed with Graves disease, hyperthyroidism, and all the medication, testing, weight loss then weight gain that went along with it. Not being able to get pregnant because of it. Going into and remaining in remission.
*Having a miscarriage, then getting pregnant and having Cassie 11 years after Alexander. She is my miracle baby and an amazing child.
*Losing several aunts and uncles: Oom Huib, Oom Will, Tante Fien, Oom Dick, Oom Ben just this year. As my mother's brothers and sisters get older, it happens more frequently and is just sad because it means we are all getting older. Losing Franklin's grandparents, Mamita and Papalencho. Neither of them got to meet Cassie. Having great grandparents is special, something I never had, but I am thankful Alexander got to know them.
*Losing Dad. Enough said.
*Survived a major car accident on the freeway with Cassie, getting sideswiped by a huge gravel truck and walked away with minor injuries.
And then, the biggest transformation of all. This year alone, even though I began almost three years ago, has been the most amazing year of all, in terms of personal, emotional, spiritual and physical growth for me. I've blogged about my journey before, but I can't help but replay 2010 over and over in my head because that is the year it actually STUCK. This past year feels like it was fast forwarded, because of how my life has done such a complete 180 since last January. Last January, I had lost 30 pounds but was not consistent with food and exercise and was just living my life as a wife, mom and teacher.
Now, in December, I am an additional 30 pounds lighter, discovered a passion and desire for exercise and physical activity, began running, have run (okay, and walked) a half marathon, have made some new wonderful friends, trained to teach BodyPump and was just hired to be a group fitness instructor. HUH? Did I miss something? This is the stuff that happens over years and years. Not in just 12 short months.
It is so exciting to me to think about 2011. The first year of the second decade of the new millennium. Okay, whatever. It's a new year, and for the first time in my life, probably, I am really, truly certain that this year is going to be phenomenal. I'm always hopeful, always wish that the next year will be better than the last. But for the first time, I feel it in my gut. I can't help but be absolutely certain that it will be because I have witnessed a year that exceeded my wildest dreams.
I am a lucky woman, but also one that has rediscovered that I am not afraid of hard work, not afraid of putting myself out there. The only thing getting in the way was me, and I am not afraid anymore. Yes, I have frequent freak out moments. But I find it works for me. I need to voice the fear, feel reassurance, then face it head on and plow right through it. It takes hard work, consistency, drive, dedication, determination, blood, sweat, tears, laughter, teasing, embarrassment, pain, pain and more pain, but a whole lot of FUN FUN FUN. I don't think, looking back at the year, that I would trade any bit of what I went through. I don't think I would change or alter any of my experiences.
I am hopeful, excited, thankful, grateful for every person I have met, for every sore muscle I have had, for every tear I have shed. I am alive, I am loved, and I love.
Every moment of it. Bring it on, 2011. I am more than ready. I can't wait for the ride of a lifetime.
As he got older and had more health problems, mobility was not much of an option for him, and he spent most of his days in front of the tv, able to move around with a walker, and then the last year, on a scooter. It became difficult to take him anywhere because it was so hard for him to move around. I don't want to spend the last two hours of this decade remembering the tough times for him, but it's hard when his birthday is always at the end of the year to not reflect in some ways.
After he died, of complications from diabetes, congestive heart failure, heart attack, etc. I began on my journey. I had just turned 40, had lost dad the summer before, and didn't want to end up like him healthwise. Because of him, and all the pain he suffered, I wanted to make a change for me, for my children, for my future. I wish he were alive to know how much he influenced me. I know he knows it, I know he has helped me while I have gone through this transformation, but I still can't help but wish that he were here to really see it. I have felt his presence many times, and I have drawn on that strength to get me through some tough times.
I feel so reflective tonight, and we just got home after a long day out. I left the house at 7:30 am to drive to San Jose and take BodyCombat and BodyFlow with Donna, and it was so much fun to finally meet her and get to know another member of my new Les Mills family. Then I stopped at 24 Hour Fitness and spoke to Chris, who checked and saw that my background check had cleared (on Christmas Eve!! which means I am now an official employee and can teach!) I came home, made breakfast, we then went to the mall to exchange some Christmas gifts and then Cassie and I went for long overdue manicures and I got a much needed pedicure. Alexander is at a friend's house for a party, which is strange because we always spend NYE together. That family invited us over for the festivities but I just want to stay home, get in my jammies and stay warm. I am in a very reflective mood because of the kind of year I have had and I just want to write whatever comes to mind.
I think back to 2000. The beginning of the new millennium. 10 years ago. Where the hell did the time go? So much has happened these last 10 years. 10 years ago was a lifetime ago from where I am at this moment. I was working for a dot-com as a Senior Project Manager. Alexander was only 6 years old. So much has happened since then....
*Tim, my brother's best friend from elementary school, was in a car accident with his wife Theresa and their son Mathew, 2 on 1-1-01 and was killed in that accident. It is impossible to fathom that was 10 years ago tomorrow. I still remember vividly the phone call from my brother, remember the pain that followed for everyone. And in the years since then, more changes. Ron falling in love with and marrying his best friend's wife, becoming a dad to Mathew, blending the families together. Can't imagine our family without them in our lives now.
*Getting laid off from my job after spending 4 months as a juror on a murder trial, causing me to put in action the steps to go back to school, get my credential and become a teacher.
*Being diagnosed with Graves disease, hyperthyroidism, and all the medication, testing, weight loss then weight gain that went along with it. Not being able to get pregnant because of it. Going into and remaining in remission.
*Having a miscarriage, then getting pregnant and having Cassie 11 years after Alexander. She is my miracle baby and an amazing child.
*Losing several aunts and uncles: Oom Huib, Oom Will, Tante Fien, Oom Dick, Oom Ben just this year. As my mother's brothers and sisters get older, it happens more frequently and is just sad because it means we are all getting older. Losing Franklin's grandparents, Mamita and Papalencho. Neither of them got to meet Cassie. Having great grandparents is special, something I never had, but I am thankful Alexander got to know them.
*Losing Dad. Enough said.
*Survived a major car accident on the freeway with Cassie, getting sideswiped by a huge gravel truck and walked away with minor injuries.
And then, the biggest transformation of all. This year alone, even though I began almost three years ago, has been the most amazing year of all, in terms of personal, emotional, spiritual and physical growth for me. I've blogged about my journey before, but I can't help but replay 2010 over and over in my head because that is the year it actually STUCK. This past year feels like it was fast forwarded, because of how my life has done such a complete 180 since last January. Last January, I had lost 30 pounds but was not consistent with food and exercise and was just living my life as a wife, mom and teacher.
Now, in December, I am an additional 30 pounds lighter, discovered a passion and desire for exercise and physical activity, began running, have run (okay, and walked) a half marathon, have made some new wonderful friends, trained to teach BodyPump and was just hired to be a group fitness instructor. HUH? Did I miss something? This is the stuff that happens over years and years. Not in just 12 short months.
It is so exciting to me to think about 2011. The first year of the second decade of the new millennium. Okay, whatever. It's a new year, and for the first time in my life, probably, I am really, truly certain that this year is going to be phenomenal. I'm always hopeful, always wish that the next year will be better than the last. But for the first time, I feel it in my gut. I can't help but be absolutely certain that it will be because I have witnessed a year that exceeded my wildest dreams.
I am a lucky woman, but also one that has rediscovered that I am not afraid of hard work, not afraid of putting myself out there. The only thing getting in the way was me, and I am not afraid anymore. Yes, I have frequent freak out moments. But I find it works for me. I need to voice the fear, feel reassurance, then face it head on and plow right through it. It takes hard work, consistency, drive, dedication, determination, blood, sweat, tears, laughter, teasing, embarrassment, pain, pain and more pain, but a whole lot of FUN FUN FUN. I don't think, looking back at the year, that I would trade any bit of what I went through. I don't think I would change or alter any of my experiences.
I am hopeful, excited, thankful, grateful for every person I have met, for every sore muscle I have had, for every tear I have shed. I am alive, I am loved, and I love.
Every moment of it. Bring it on, 2011. I am more than ready. I can't wait for the ride of a lifetime.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Whew. Christmas Craziness is over!
I have to say this was probably the best holiday I have had in years. And I didn't do a stitch of shopping until literally right before. There were several emotional freak out moments, fighting off a cold and exhaustion from the week before, and a long drive to Roseville and back yesterday. But once I was able to sit, relax, and enjoy the family moments, it was great. I took lots of great pictures, everyone in both families were present and accounted for, which hasn't happened in awhile, and it was so nice to feel good physically, feel loved and appreciated, and to give love back. Life is good. Other than missing Dad, that missing piece, it was a good holiday. New Year's will most likely be difficult, as always, since it is Dad's birthday, but I will muddle through it.
I am excited to see Kimi tomorrow in SF and do Spin and Body Flow. My body needs some hard cardio and some gentle flow. Too many sweets the last couple of days. Not enough exercise since my audition. Time to get back to it. Wednesday I am going to SF to see Alex and shadow with him during BP. I think what that means is I will be up front with him without saying anything, which is just fine with me! This is to help me get used to being in front of a class. I am BEYOND excited to see my two favorite LM people!!!!
When I think that launch is in less than 2 weeks, I start to have a freak out moment. I am still waiting to hear back from 24Hour regarding my background check (since I am a teacher, there BETTER not be anything unsavory there!!) and then I can meet with Angie again to talk about the launch and what my role will be. At this point, I know other instructors who will be team teaching that weekend in other clubs but I don't know what her plan is. She is doing the launch both Sat and Sun but the San Carlos gym has no Sunday classes. I will follow up on Wednesday or Thursday with the Operations manager at the club to see if the background check is complete.
Had a very productive day today, and I am so thankful I don't have to work this week. Slept in just a bit, after going to bed at 2am, made breakfast, went to the recycling center and took a ton of plastic bottles - got $70!!! Usually Alexander gets to keep the money but he was at a friend's house today participating in a RWC Amazing Race event all over town so guess who gets the money? I would love to put it on a Starbucks card (hahaha) but it is going in the kitty to save for our Dallas tournament in April. Flying the four of us out there won't be cheap, plus hotel, food, etc. Not to mention having to babysit 20 or so 16 year old boys....I can't wait. Then we went to the laundromat and got caught up on the backload of laundry - trying to do load after load in a small stackable just doesn't work. Did all of it quickly and had a nice lunch, just the three of us, and now Cassie and I are playing Perfection while the boys are out. Loved that game when I was young.
I feel so boring right now. Like I really have nothing interesting to say. That's a new one. Guess that's a sign to log off and put everyone out of their misery. I'll wait to write until something exciting happens.
I am excited to see Kimi tomorrow in SF and do Spin and Body Flow. My body needs some hard cardio and some gentle flow. Too many sweets the last couple of days. Not enough exercise since my audition. Time to get back to it. Wednesday I am going to SF to see Alex and shadow with him during BP. I think what that means is I will be up front with him without saying anything, which is just fine with me! This is to help me get used to being in front of a class. I am BEYOND excited to see my two favorite LM people!!!!
When I think that launch is in less than 2 weeks, I start to have a freak out moment. I am still waiting to hear back from 24Hour regarding my background check (since I am a teacher, there BETTER not be anything unsavory there!!) and then I can meet with Angie again to talk about the launch and what my role will be. At this point, I know other instructors who will be team teaching that weekend in other clubs but I don't know what her plan is. She is doing the launch both Sat and Sun but the San Carlos gym has no Sunday classes. I will follow up on Wednesday or Thursday with the Operations manager at the club to see if the background check is complete.
Had a very productive day today, and I am so thankful I don't have to work this week. Slept in just a bit, after going to bed at 2am, made breakfast, went to the recycling center and took a ton of plastic bottles - got $70!!! Usually Alexander gets to keep the money but he was at a friend's house today participating in a RWC Amazing Race event all over town so guess who gets the money? I would love to put it on a Starbucks card (hahaha) but it is going in the kitty to save for our Dallas tournament in April. Flying the four of us out there won't be cheap, plus hotel, food, etc. Not to mention having to babysit 20 or so 16 year old boys....I can't wait. Then we went to the laundromat and got caught up on the backload of laundry - trying to do load after load in a small stackable just doesn't work. Did all of it quickly and had a nice lunch, just the three of us, and now Cassie and I are playing Perfection while the boys are out. Loved that game when I was young.
I feel so boring right now. Like I really have nothing interesting to say. That's a new one. Guess that's a sign to log off and put everyone out of their misery. I'll wait to write until something exciting happens.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
A Momentus Day - YES, Another One!!
I don't know how many of these great days one person is entitled to, but I'll will take them if they keep coming. Today was my audition at 24Hour Fitness......finally the days of practicing seemingly non-stop would either pay off or I would be back to square one.
Yesterday was overall not very productive in terms of practicing as I went to the Exploratorium with Amanda, Vince and the girls. Had a great time but weighing on my mind was the fact that I needed to run through all the tracks. We got back to RWC in time to grab a quick bite at In N Out before heading off to the gym to do an actual class run through using Amanda as my guinea pig. The gym manager let me use the sound system so I could put on the CD, use the equipment and pretend to be an instructor. Ran into Jessica there and pulled her into the "class", and I cannot explain the thrill as I began......I got giddy! Did the class but had to stop 10 minutes early because the next instructor came in and participants started to arrive, but kept pretty much on time. Not bad for a first run through. Finished with the girls out in the gym. It's amazing how much it lowered my anxiety about today. They were so funny, I even got an "I hate you" from Jess. I've given that comment out many times! It was amazing how strong I felt, being able to complete the class when the girls had a hard time finishing certain tracks.
After we were finished, I got great feedback from them. I made several errors in choreography, and they both said that they never would have known it if my face hadn't given it away. That's has always been a problem of mine, even though I used to act in high school and could cry on command. I guess I need to brush up on my acting skills and learn how to just keep going if I make a mistake. Alex says it's a show - I need to learn how to perform, and it's not about the mistakes I make but how I recover from them. I also started out talking too fast - another constant problem of mine, even when teaching in my classroom. My constant motor mouth. Once I got more comfortable and confident, they said I got better. I kept it moving, didn't dilly dally, forgot to mention some of the options, but I felt such a rush when it was over! I am so excited to continue to do this and get better and better at it.
Went to dinner at Benihana with mom, Amanda and her family, and mine. Had a great time, but didn't get home until after 10:30 and didn't get much practice in. Sigh. Then Cassie, who had a runny nose for a day, had a really bad night. Coughing, congested, crying and throwing fits all night in her sleep. Needless to say, the good night's sleep I needed, I did not get.
Woke up around 9am and dealt with a cranky, sick child, which of course, didn't leave any time to practice! By 11:00 am, the nervousness started in. By noon, I felt sick but got ready and left the house around 12:30. When I arrived at the gym, Angie was still teaching spin so I hung out, stretched, tried to calm myself down. When I finally met her, I asked her if I should set up and she said she would meet me in the Group X room. I started to set up and when she asked if she had given me a track list and I said no, she told me to choose anything I wanted to do! I asked what she wanted to see, and when she glanced at the clock, I asked how many she had time to see. She said to choose 2, a lower body and an upper body. Was she for real? Was my dream coming true? I had actually thought, hoped, on the way over, that she would only have time to see a few tracks. Never did I imagine only 2! SCORE!!!! Actually I said something in my head a bit more explicit but I can't type it here.
I chose squats and biceps. Squats because no way in HELL was I going to choose lunges. I am still sore from Alex's Dangerous lunges on Sunday. And I chose biceps even though I love the tricep track so I wouldn't have to do tricep pushups! I do love the bicep track.
It was so weird because she just sat against the mirror, with her BlackBerry in her hand, getting texts while I was doing my audition. I was doing squats and I swear she just stared at my thighs. I cannot tell you what was going through my mind. Well, actually I can. I was thinking "great, she is looking at my fat legs and now there is no way she'll hire me". I figured I was toast and that was it. It was hard to see on her face what she was thinking. While I was doing squats, there was a woman in the room using a mat and a ball and I could hear her yell over that the music was too loud. Angie told her she was auditioning and she would be done soon and she couldn't turn the music off. The woman actually came over to her to tell her again to turn it off and Angie yelled at her to leave her alone, she was busy and she would be done soon. It was hard to keep it together during that whole exchange, but I did it. Biceps went better, but again, it was very hard to do this for one person, while pretending that I was teaching to a class. It was easier yesterday with the girls.
I do have to say, though, that even though it was somewhat similar to my practice session with Alex, the one on one aspect with one person watching me, it was SO much better with Alex. It really does make a difference when you know that person cares about you and is invested in helping you. Angie didn't know me from Adam and it was very impersonal. So I may complain about Alex being hard on me, or not doing the routine with me, but again, I am struck by how much he knows about coaching and teaching and that he really did do what he needed to do, what he knew I needed. I had to admit to him today that I am learning to just trust him, that he indeed knows best and I just need to listen to him :-)
When I was finished, I packed up and met her at her desk for a chat. We talked for awhile, she said she is not looking for an instructor who says they can only work one day, one time at one club. She would like someone who can go from San Mateo to possibly Mountain View, 5 clubs with lots of opportunities to sub and take a class. We talked about BodyCombat and BodyFlow, and she said she doesn't know when they will make it to her clubs but they are in San Ramon. So it's hopeful that eventually they will come here. She said a common complaint about the current BP instructors, and the classes is that they are too boring, not exciting or engaging enough. She thought that I would be good at it, and the fitness magic and all would come in time. I mentioned to her that I applied a couple of months ago and she looked me up and found me in the system. At this point I am thinking, "so do I have the job or what?" because it wasn't clear. She finally looked at me and said "We would be happy to have you on board" and then we talked about the launch. She is doing it on Jan 8 and 9, both Saturday and Sunday. She also mentioned that she has trouble keeping instructors on Sundays because no one wants to get up that early. After taking several classes from Amy at 7:40 am I actually like the early morning classes so that I get it out of the way.
Angie then explained that I needed to come back tomorrow, fill out the new hire paperwork with Chris, the manager, and then the paperwork would take about a week, maybe a bit longer with the holiday. Once I got my employee number, I would meet with her again and we would talk about time slots but I would definitely be a part of the launch. OMG. I don't even know what that entails.
I set up my appointment for tomorrow, then left and I swear I had imagined bursting into tears, but instead I had this stupid grin, literally showing my teeth, for about an hour afterward. I got in the car, called Franklin and told him, then drove to Starbucks for my reward, called Alex, posted on FB, etc.
I arrived home and the guys were going to watch a movie and Franklin made me sit down and relax. I had so much energy that he literally had to pull me down. We watched a comedy but my mind was on the news and several times I just started crying. He asked me what was wrong but once he looked at my face, he knew I was having my typical freak out moment (god I have so many of these now, way more than I ever did!). I just kept thinking "Why in the world would she hire me? I didn't blow it out of the water. I did okay, but not phenomenal. She kept looking at my fat legs, why would she hire me?" and on and on. Both Alex and Christelle pointed out that Angie was looking at my legs cause that's what you do in an audition but Christelle specifically said she was looking at my range and seeing that I was doing the move correctly. That's when it hit me that she was not staring at my thighs :-)))) Franklin just held my hand, told me how proud he was of me, and told me it would be okay. Good thing he knows me well enough to just let me freak out.
Later we were talking about what we needed to pick up for presents, since we are not doing a lot this year. I told him I DID NOT want him to get ME anything. Usually I say this and he still goes out late on Christmas Eve to Best Buy or something to buy me things to put under the tree. I do not need that this year. When he asked me why I didn't want anything, I burst into tears. Again. He looked puzzled (didn't he know why?) and I just said, simply, "I have everything I want!"
It's true. I have my health. I have my teaching job. I have my beautiful family. I have wonderful friends that support me. I have a roof over my head and a car to drive. And I have my new, exciting fitness classes to look forward to. I don't need anything. I have my life that is getting better and better and what could possibly top that, wrapped under our little mini tree? Nothing. I'm good. Oh, I need a smaller wedding ring but that can wait.
I was and still am in a bit of a state of shock. When I think of where I was just 3 months ago. 6 months ago. Today. Wow.
A benefit of becoming more fit, becoming stronger is I have all this pent up energy. I ended up this evening making the entire family, even the sick one, help clean. This place has been neglected, yes by me, and I needed to do some serious cleaning. I cleaned for 3 straight hours, including an hour in the bathtub scrubbing, and I didn't get tired. Oh joy. Great benefit of being more fit.
Tomorrow I have a hair appointment in the morning, 24Hr Fitness at 11:30 to sign my paperwork, pick up the ham, go to Costco, and I have done NO Christmas shopping. It seems the world stopped as I prepared for this moment. Now I can relax for a couple of days but then I need to set up times to go work with Alex and Kimi and keep practicing.
I am THIS close to being a Les Mills Body Pump instructor. After I sign the papers tomorrow, maybe then it will really hit me. Watch out. Tears coming.
Yesterday was overall not very productive in terms of practicing as I went to the Exploratorium with Amanda, Vince and the girls. Had a great time but weighing on my mind was the fact that I needed to run through all the tracks. We got back to RWC in time to grab a quick bite at In N Out before heading off to the gym to do an actual class run through using Amanda as my guinea pig. The gym manager let me use the sound system so I could put on the CD, use the equipment and pretend to be an instructor. Ran into Jessica there and pulled her into the "class", and I cannot explain the thrill as I began......I got giddy! Did the class but had to stop 10 minutes early because the next instructor came in and participants started to arrive, but kept pretty much on time. Not bad for a first run through. Finished with the girls out in the gym. It's amazing how much it lowered my anxiety about today. They were so funny, I even got an "I hate you" from Jess. I've given that comment out many times! It was amazing how strong I felt, being able to complete the class when the girls had a hard time finishing certain tracks.
After we were finished, I got great feedback from them. I made several errors in choreography, and they both said that they never would have known it if my face hadn't given it away. That's has always been a problem of mine, even though I used to act in high school and could cry on command. I guess I need to brush up on my acting skills and learn how to just keep going if I make a mistake. Alex says it's a show - I need to learn how to perform, and it's not about the mistakes I make but how I recover from them. I also started out talking too fast - another constant problem of mine, even when teaching in my classroom. My constant motor mouth. Once I got more comfortable and confident, they said I got better. I kept it moving, didn't dilly dally, forgot to mention some of the options, but I felt such a rush when it was over! I am so excited to continue to do this and get better and better at it.
Went to dinner at Benihana with mom, Amanda and her family, and mine. Had a great time, but didn't get home until after 10:30 and didn't get much practice in. Sigh. Then Cassie, who had a runny nose for a day, had a really bad night. Coughing, congested, crying and throwing fits all night in her sleep. Needless to say, the good night's sleep I needed, I did not get.
Woke up around 9am and dealt with a cranky, sick child, which of course, didn't leave any time to practice! By 11:00 am, the nervousness started in. By noon, I felt sick but got ready and left the house around 12:30. When I arrived at the gym, Angie was still teaching spin so I hung out, stretched, tried to calm myself down. When I finally met her, I asked her if I should set up and she said she would meet me in the Group X room. I started to set up and when she asked if she had given me a track list and I said no, she told me to choose anything I wanted to do! I asked what she wanted to see, and when she glanced at the clock, I asked how many she had time to see. She said to choose 2, a lower body and an upper body. Was she for real? Was my dream coming true? I had actually thought, hoped, on the way over, that she would only have time to see a few tracks. Never did I imagine only 2! SCORE!!!! Actually I said something in my head a bit more explicit but I can't type it here.
I chose squats and biceps. Squats because no way in HELL was I going to choose lunges. I am still sore from Alex's Dangerous lunges on Sunday. And I chose biceps even though I love the tricep track so I wouldn't have to do tricep pushups! I do love the bicep track.
It was so weird because she just sat against the mirror, with her BlackBerry in her hand, getting texts while I was doing my audition. I was doing squats and I swear she just stared at my thighs. I cannot tell you what was going through my mind. Well, actually I can. I was thinking "great, she is looking at my fat legs and now there is no way she'll hire me". I figured I was toast and that was it. It was hard to see on her face what she was thinking. While I was doing squats, there was a woman in the room using a mat and a ball and I could hear her yell over that the music was too loud. Angie told her she was auditioning and she would be done soon and she couldn't turn the music off. The woman actually came over to her to tell her again to turn it off and Angie yelled at her to leave her alone, she was busy and she would be done soon. It was hard to keep it together during that whole exchange, but I did it. Biceps went better, but again, it was very hard to do this for one person, while pretending that I was teaching to a class. It was easier yesterday with the girls.
I do have to say, though, that even though it was somewhat similar to my practice session with Alex, the one on one aspect with one person watching me, it was SO much better with Alex. It really does make a difference when you know that person cares about you and is invested in helping you. Angie didn't know me from Adam and it was very impersonal. So I may complain about Alex being hard on me, or not doing the routine with me, but again, I am struck by how much he knows about coaching and teaching and that he really did do what he needed to do, what he knew I needed. I had to admit to him today that I am learning to just trust him, that he indeed knows best and I just need to listen to him :-)
When I was finished, I packed up and met her at her desk for a chat. We talked for awhile, she said she is not looking for an instructor who says they can only work one day, one time at one club. She would like someone who can go from San Mateo to possibly Mountain View, 5 clubs with lots of opportunities to sub and take a class. We talked about BodyCombat and BodyFlow, and she said she doesn't know when they will make it to her clubs but they are in San Ramon. So it's hopeful that eventually they will come here. She said a common complaint about the current BP instructors, and the classes is that they are too boring, not exciting or engaging enough. She thought that I would be good at it, and the fitness magic and all would come in time. I mentioned to her that I applied a couple of months ago and she looked me up and found me in the system. At this point I am thinking, "so do I have the job or what?" because it wasn't clear. She finally looked at me and said "We would be happy to have you on board" and then we talked about the launch. She is doing it on Jan 8 and 9, both Saturday and Sunday. She also mentioned that she has trouble keeping instructors on Sundays because no one wants to get up that early. After taking several classes from Amy at 7:40 am I actually like the early morning classes so that I get it out of the way.
Angie then explained that I needed to come back tomorrow, fill out the new hire paperwork with Chris, the manager, and then the paperwork would take about a week, maybe a bit longer with the holiday. Once I got my employee number, I would meet with her again and we would talk about time slots but I would definitely be a part of the launch. OMG. I don't even know what that entails.
I set up my appointment for tomorrow, then left and I swear I had imagined bursting into tears, but instead I had this stupid grin, literally showing my teeth, for about an hour afterward. I got in the car, called Franklin and told him, then drove to Starbucks for my reward, called Alex, posted on FB, etc.
I arrived home and the guys were going to watch a movie and Franklin made me sit down and relax. I had so much energy that he literally had to pull me down. We watched a comedy but my mind was on the news and several times I just started crying. He asked me what was wrong but once he looked at my face, he knew I was having my typical freak out moment (god I have so many of these now, way more than I ever did!). I just kept thinking "Why in the world would she hire me? I didn't blow it out of the water. I did okay, but not phenomenal. She kept looking at my fat legs, why would she hire me?" and on and on. Both Alex and Christelle pointed out that Angie was looking at my legs cause that's what you do in an audition but Christelle specifically said she was looking at my range and seeing that I was doing the move correctly. That's when it hit me that she was not staring at my thighs :-)))) Franklin just held my hand, told me how proud he was of me, and told me it would be okay. Good thing he knows me well enough to just let me freak out.
Later we were talking about what we needed to pick up for presents, since we are not doing a lot this year. I told him I DID NOT want him to get ME anything. Usually I say this and he still goes out late on Christmas Eve to Best Buy or something to buy me things to put under the tree. I do not need that this year. When he asked me why I didn't want anything, I burst into tears. Again. He looked puzzled (didn't he know why?) and I just said, simply, "I have everything I want!"
It's true. I have my health. I have my teaching job. I have my beautiful family. I have wonderful friends that support me. I have a roof over my head and a car to drive. And I have my new, exciting fitness classes to look forward to. I don't need anything. I have my life that is getting better and better and what could possibly top that, wrapped under our little mini tree? Nothing. I'm good. Oh, I need a smaller wedding ring but that can wait.
I was and still am in a bit of a state of shock. When I think of where I was just 3 months ago. 6 months ago. Today. Wow.
A benefit of becoming more fit, becoming stronger is I have all this pent up energy. I ended up this evening making the entire family, even the sick one, help clean. This place has been neglected, yes by me, and I needed to do some serious cleaning. I cleaned for 3 straight hours, including an hour in the bathtub scrubbing, and I didn't get tired. Oh joy. Great benefit of being more fit.
Tomorrow I have a hair appointment in the morning, 24Hr Fitness at 11:30 to sign my paperwork, pick up the ham, go to Costco, and I have done NO Christmas shopping. It seems the world stopped as I prepared for this moment. Now I can relax for a couple of days but then I need to set up times to go work with Alex and Kimi and keep practicing.
I am THIS close to being a Les Mills Body Pump instructor. After I sign the papers tomorrow, maybe then it will really hit me. Watch out. Tears coming.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Out of My Comfort Zone
Today was such a great day. I slept in for the first time in weeks on a Sunday, skipped Amy's early morning BP class since I was going to spend time in SF practicing with Alex and taking his class. Practiced and scripted cues in the morning, spent time with the family, then during a surprisingly dry drive, went to SF to meet Alex at Golds.
Talk about being nervous. I know I didn't need to be, it's not like I was up on a stage or something. But it is an odd sensation to be looked at so closely by someone you have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for, and I was really embarrassed at first. It got easier, but I was fully expecting (I don't know WHY) that Alex would be in workout clothes, holding a bar and doing it with me. Uh, NO. He showed up in jeans and proceeded to stand there and direct, critique, push, cajole, tease, push, and laugh at me! All in good fun, of course. It was just so unnerving being watched that closely, but it was SO great to have honest, immediate feedback. I was not uneasy about my form and technique, it was the cueing and coaching that I had such a hard time getting to come out of my mouth! It felt strange to be cueing to someone who knows exactly what to do. I suppose it would be easier cueing to a roomful of people rather to one person staring at you......which means how am I going to handle this audition if it is just me, pretending to teach a class, to one woman watching and critiquing me? I would imagine a bit easier, since I don't know her, she doesn't know me, I can be nervous and act like I am not, where with Alex, I am not that good of an actress.
We spent so much time - or rather, he spent so much time having me go over and over things that we only got through 5 out of 10 tracks and so while I feel better than before, I am still nervous about the rest of the tracks. I wish we had more time before my audition to practice but I have to be a big girl and suck it up and get to it and get it done. I need to work tomorrow on tracks 8-9-10 and really nailing track 1 (in between taking Cassie and Jasmine to the movies to see Yogi Bear - too bad I can't get out of THAT one) going to the dentist, doing the whole class to my niece (she is very agreeable to being my guinea pig) and taking mom to the doctor in the evening.......and I haven't even thought about Christmas. Sigh.
After we practiced it was time for Alex to teach his BP class. I remember my very first class with him, and how confused and intimated I felt, and compared it to tonight - how sure, how strong, how fit I felt - and I felt great. Being part of the group, knowing the ins and outs so to speak, knowing that I was not just a participant any longer, being able to be a part of the class, yet know the WHYS and the HOWS of what he was doing as an instructor, it just felt so AWESOME. I truly enjoy taking the class as a participant, but I can't wait to lead the class.
Goodness. It's 1:30 am, I can hardly keep my eyes open and I have an early dentist appointment. I suppose if I forgot anything, there is always tomorrow.
Talk about being nervous. I know I didn't need to be, it's not like I was up on a stage or something. But it is an odd sensation to be looked at so closely by someone you have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for, and I was really embarrassed at first. It got easier, but I was fully expecting (I don't know WHY) that Alex would be in workout clothes, holding a bar and doing it with me. Uh, NO. He showed up in jeans and proceeded to stand there and direct, critique, push, cajole, tease, push, and laugh at me! All in good fun, of course. It was just so unnerving being watched that closely, but it was SO great to have honest, immediate feedback. I was not uneasy about my form and technique, it was the cueing and coaching that I had such a hard time getting to come out of my mouth! It felt strange to be cueing to someone who knows exactly what to do. I suppose it would be easier cueing to a roomful of people rather to one person staring at you......which means how am I going to handle this audition if it is just me, pretending to teach a class, to one woman watching and critiquing me? I would imagine a bit easier, since I don't know her, she doesn't know me, I can be nervous and act like I am not, where with Alex, I am not that good of an actress.
We spent so much time - or rather, he spent so much time having me go over and over things that we only got through 5 out of 10 tracks and so while I feel better than before, I am still nervous about the rest of the tracks. I wish we had more time before my audition to practice but I have to be a big girl and suck it up and get to it and get it done. I need to work tomorrow on tracks 8-9-10 and really nailing track 1 (in between taking Cassie and Jasmine to the movies to see Yogi Bear - too bad I can't get out of THAT one) going to the dentist, doing the whole class to my niece (she is very agreeable to being my guinea pig) and taking mom to the doctor in the evening.......and I haven't even thought about Christmas. Sigh.
After we practiced it was time for Alex to teach his BP class. I remember my very first class with him, and how confused and intimated I felt, and compared it to tonight - how sure, how strong, how fit I felt - and I felt great. Being part of the group, knowing the ins and outs so to speak, knowing that I was not just a participant any longer, being able to be a part of the class, yet know the WHYS and the HOWS of what he was doing as an instructor, it just felt so AWESOME. I truly enjoy taking the class as a participant, but I can't wait to lead the class.
Goodness. It's 1:30 am, I can hardly keep my eyes open and I have an early dentist appointment. I suppose if I forgot anything, there is always tomorrow.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Ready or Not, Here I Come!
I heard back yesterday from the Area Group X Manager for 24 hour fitness and well, I have an audition set up for Tuesday or Wednesday. As soon as I read the email from her, I had another freak out moment. My heart started racing, my stomach felt queasy, and I started shaking. THAT'S TOO SOON!!! Jessica was with me at my mom's and of course she is telling me I can do it but do I believe her at that exact moment? No, typical me has the freak out moment.
Got home and let Alex know. We had already planned to get together next week so he could help me practice but this just stepped it up a bit. He told me to stop whining (which I did, after a few hours) and get to learning ALL 10 freaking tracks because I have to be prepared to do all of them for her, and not just count on presenting a few. He gave me a deadline of tonight (a mere 24 hours since yesterday) to get on them. HELLOOO??? This is easy for these guys - not so for me but again, I work best under pressure, as much as I hate to admit it, so off I go.
I slept with the chorey notes under my pillow last night and I swear it helped - I woke up at 6:00 am on a Saturday, the first day of my vacation, laid in bed and turned on the music and had 2 more tracks down. I am now a firm believer in osmosis. It worked during the training module and it worked last night. The chorey just melted into my brain.......hahaha.
My Alex had a tournament game in Concord today but since he sprained his ankle in yesterday's game, he wasn't going to play so Cassie and I stayed home and I practiced. And practiced. And practiced some more. I am actually sore right now, even without using weights. Those tricep dips and pushups are doing me in and I know I will pay for it tomorrow. Did the dips on the coffee table (thanks Pam) and it just cracks me up that Alex saw me doing them and when he went to do some himself, I made him stop, put on track 5, and did them next to him while I coached him. He only could do the dips and pooped out for the rest of the track, hee hee. Mom kicked his butt!!
I am still struggling with a couple of tracks, shoulders and abs, and have to nail the warm up and cool down, but that's my plan this evening in between watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, which Alex is watching with Cassie cuddled up next to him. I just had to stop and blog because I have been thinking alot today. Shocker.
Excited to go see Alex tomorrow in SF and get some practice time in with him. It's going to be strange having him watch me and listen to me cue - I hope I get over the nervousness quickly because I need to perfect this as much as I can in a couple of hours and feel ready for my audition this week. I am SO very thankful he is taking the time to do this with me. I am very fortunate to have a friend like him. And it's so serendipitous that he was my first instructor, and now he is helping me become one. Whether he likes it or not :-)
I went with my friend Sandie for coffee today after I cajoled her into driving me to pick up my mother from a hair appointment since I had no car with the guys gone at soccer. I was telling her that I watched the Secret again today, and I am still amazed at how, since trying to live my life differently, asking for what I want and visualizing myself living the life I want to lead, how things have accelerated so quickly. It really makes a difference to not only ask for what you want, believe that you deserve it, picture yourself as if you already have it, and FEEL like you already have achieved it.
Especially this Les Mills journey. I look back to June, when I found out that the classes were going away and how devastated I felt, how lost, how scared. How people would look at me like I was nuts for being so attached to this "program" and telling me that it wasn't the classes, it was ME that did the hard work. And it's true, I did do the work but no one understood how important the program WAS to me and how it made me feel to lose it. I cried, I sobbed, at the thought of it going away and people thought I was crazy for being so distraught. I remember thinking that I wish I could become an instructor so I would never lose it. I also remember thinking, "no way could I do it but WHAT IF?" It was only because I began to train for the marathon that my focus shifted or who knows if I would have ended up in a gutter because I was so distraught!
Then fast forward to October, after the marathon, joining 24 Hour Fitness to follow Les Mills and Body Pump, and having the thought that "I would love to become an instructor, but I am not ready." I remember going to SF with Beki to take Alex's classes in late October and voicing to her how I wish I could go through the training. Then like lighting, the thoughts kept coming in my head, inundating my thoughts, asking my instructor friends their opinions, forming the possibility of actually doing it. Sending off the email to 24 for sponsorship, applying and getting approved from LM and now, a MERE 7 weeks later, about to have an audition to become an instructor. It boggles my mind, when I take the time to really think about it, how RAPIDLY this all came about. It all stemmed from a thought, a little pinch in my brain, about the possibility of actually doing this. Paying it forward to people who are beginning their journey like I was when I walked into Alex's class in March 2008. How FREAKING EXCITING IS THIS?
Now I have what I wanted. Les Mills in my life. It hasn't gone away. It's here to stay because my passion, the class that started it all for me on this road to becoming fit and healthy, the enormous amount of FUN I am having (yes I am having fun even if I freak out constantly). I don't have to say goodbye to it anymore. I get to remain friends with the people who inspired me. I get to meet more fitness minded people who love this program as much or more than I do. I get to hopefully inspire others. I get to exercise. I get to be "in on it". I am part of a tribe.
God, it was just a few short months ago that I was just a participant. It is so hard, this learning of the choreography and practicing even when your muscles are sore, and listening to the music constantly. I never knew how much went into it. Am I complaining? No, I LOVE IT. Yes, I am stressed. But I think it's a good stress, if there is such a thing.
Oh, and HOW is it that I can listen to these tracks multiple times a day, every day, at home, in the car, sing along, count, move, sing, count, move, and I am still not sick of them? How is that possible? I don't get that one. Maybe this one release will always have a special place in my heart because it's my first. Do you ever get sick of it? Even songs that I wasn't crazy about in the beginning have grown on me and I am not tired of any of them. Hmmmm. Weird. And I just can't wait to teach this release in front of a room full of people!~ Someone should remind me, the night before I actually teach my first class, as I am having my freak out moment, that I wrote this. Cause you all know I will be freaking out. But right now, at this moment, I can't think of anything more exciting than teaching it.
I am just picturing myself getting hired on the spot and being a part of the BP76 launch on January 8. I am imagining myself on the schedule, one or two regular classes a week, like Sunday and Wednesday, or Monday and Wednesday. I am visualizing microphones that work, a packed class, people having a good time, grunting and moaning and whooping. And thanking me when it is all over for a great workout.
Christmas? Shopping? Who has time now? I gotta nail this! I guess on Wednesday night, after this audition is over, I will then finally begin to focus on whatever shopping I have to do. I am finding it hard to get motivated to buy presents for kids who don't need anything, when I am so thankful for my husband, my children, my family and friends, my health and my body, to have love and joy and be surrounded by awesome people......just can't see the importance of buying presents just because it's what we "do". My gift has already been given to me. The gift of health and of life and love. By so many. You all know who you are. From my blood family, to my extended family, and my childhood friends to my new friends, I love you all. **Sniff sniff.**
I posted this quote today. "Whether you think you can or you can't; either way, you are right" ` Henry Ford.
I was corrected today by Jozi when I said I think I can - I KNOW I CAN!!!!
Here I come!!!!
Got home and let Alex know. We had already planned to get together next week so he could help me practice but this just stepped it up a bit. He told me to stop whining (which I did, after a few hours) and get to learning ALL 10 freaking tracks because I have to be prepared to do all of them for her, and not just count on presenting a few. He gave me a deadline of tonight (a mere 24 hours since yesterday) to get on them. HELLOOO??? This is easy for these guys - not so for me but again, I work best under pressure, as much as I hate to admit it, so off I go.
I slept with the chorey notes under my pillow last night and I swear it helped - I woke up at 6:00 am on a Saturday, the first day of my vacation, laid in bed and turned on the music and had 2 more tracks down. I am now a firm believer in osmosis. It worked during the training module and it worked last night. The chorey just melted into my brain.......hahaha.
My Alex had a tournament game in Concord today but since he sprained his ankle in yesterday's game, he wasn't going to play so Cassie and I stayed home and I practiced. And practiced. And practiced some more. I am actually sore right now, even without using weights. Those tricep dips and pushups are doing me in and I know I will pay for it tomorrow. Did the dips on the coffee table (thanks Pam) and it just cracks me up that Alex saw me doing them and when he went to do some himself, I made him stop, put on track 5, and did them next to him while I coached him. He only could do the dips and pooped out for the rest of the track, hee hee. Mom kicked his butt!!
I am still struggling with a couple of tracks, shoulders and abs, and have to nail the warm up and cool down, but that's my plan this evening in between watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, which Alex is watching with Cassie cuddled up next to him. I just had to stop and blog because I have been thinking alot today. Shocker.
Excited to go see Alex tomorrow in SF and get some practice time in with him. It's going to be strange having him watch me and listen to me cue - I hope I get over the nervousness quickly because I need to perfect this as much as I can in a couple of hours and feel ready for my audition this week. I am SO very thankful he is taking the time to do this with me. I am very fortunate to have a friend like him. And it's so serendipitous that he was my first instructor, and now he is helping me become one. Whether he likes it or not :-)
I went with my friend Sandie for coffee today after I cajoled her into driving me to pick up my mother from a hair appointment since I had no car with the guys gone at soccer. I was telling her that I watched the Secret again today, and I am still amazed at how, since trying to live my life differently, asking for what I want and visualizing myself living the life I want to lead, how things have accelerated so quickly. It really makes a difference to not only ask for what you want, believe that you deserve it, picture yourself as if you already have it, and FEEL like you already have achieved it.
Especially this Les Mills journey. I look back to June, when I found out that the classes were going away and how devastated I felt, how lost, how scared. How people would look at me like I was nuts for being so attached to this "program" and telling me that it wasn't the classes, it was ME that did the hard work. And it's true, I did do the work but no one understood how important the program WAS to me and how it made me feel to lose it. I cried, I sobbed, at the thought of it going away and people thought I was crazy for being so distraught. I remember thinking that I wish I could become an instructor so I would never lose it. I also remember thinking, "no way could I do it but WHAT IF?" It was only because I began to train for the marathon that my focus shifted or who knows if I would have ended up in a gutter because I was so distraught!
Then fast forward to October, after the marathon, joining 24 Hour Fitness to follow Les Mills and Body Pump, and having the thought that "I would love to become an instructor, but I am not ready." I remember going to SF with Beki to take Alex's classes in late October and voicing to her how I wish I could go through the training. Then like lighting, the thoughts kept coming in my head, inundating my thoughts, asking my instructor friends their opinions, forming the possibility of actually doing it. Sending off the email to 24 for sponsorship, applying and getting approved from LM and now, a MERE 7 weeks later, about to have an audition to become an instructor. It boggles my mind, when I take the time to really think about it, how RAPIDLY this all came about. It all stemmed from a thought, a little pinch in my brain, about the possibility of actually doing this. Paying it forward to people who are beginning their journey like I was when I walked into Alex's class in March 2008. How FREAKING EXCITING IS THIS?
Now I have what I wanted. Les Mills in my life. It hasn't gone away. It's here to stay because my passion, the class that started it all for me on this road to becoming fit and healthy, the enormous amount of FUN I am having (yes I am having fun even if I freak out constantly). I don't have to say goodbye to it anymore. I get to remain friends with the people who inspired me. I get to meet more fitness minded people who love this program as much or more than I do. I get to hopefully inspire others. I get to exercise. I get to be "in on it". I am part of a tribe.
God, it was just a few short months ago that I was just a participant. It is so hard, this learning of the choreography and practicing even when your muscles are sore, and listening to the music constantly. I never knew how much went into it. Am I complaining? No, I LOVE IT. Yes, I am stressed. But I think it's a good stress, if there is such a thing.
Oh, and HOW is it that I can listen to these tracks multiple times a day, every day, at home, in the car, sing along, count, move, sing, count, move, and I am still not sick of them? How is that possible? I don't get that one. Maybe this one release will always have a special place in my heart because it's my first. Do you ever get sick of it? Even songs that I wasn't crazy about in the beginning have grown on me and I am not tired of any of them. Hmmmm. Weird. And I just can't wait to teach this release in front of a room full of people!~ Someone should remind me, the night before I actually teach my first class, as I am having my freak out moment, that I wrote this. Cause you all know I will be freaking out. But right now, at this moment, I can't think of anything more exciting than teaching it.
I am just picturing myself getting hired on the spot and being a part of the BP76 launch on January 8. I am imagining myself on the schedule, one or two regular classes a week, like Sunday and Wednesday, or Monday and Wednesday. I am visualizing microphones that work, a packed class, people having a good time, grunting and moaning and whooping. And thanking me when it is all over for a great workout.
Christmas? Shopping? Who has time now? I gotta nail this! I guess on Wednesday night, after this audition is over, I will then finally begin to focus on whatever shopping I have to do. I am finding it hard to get motivated to buy presents for kids who don't need anything, when I am so thankful for my husband, my children, my family and friends, my health and my body, to have love and joy and be surrounded by awesome people......just can't see the importance of buying presents just because it's what we "do". My gift has already been given to me. The gift of health and of life and love. By so many. You all know who you are. From my blood family, to my extended family, and my childhood friends to my new friends, I love you all. **Sniff sniff.**
I posted this quote today. "Whether you think you can or you can't; either way, you are right" ` Henry Ford.
I was corrected today by Jozi when I said I think I can - I KNOW I CAN!!!!
Here I come!!!!
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