I am completely incapable of focusing on studying. I don't know what is wrong with me. Yes, I'm exhausted, but I think I was really deluding myself to think I had the time for this.
Yesterday we ended up going to Pacific Beach in San Diego and the boys had a great time playing soccer in the sand while Cassie and her daddy played at the waters edge. We left SD about 1:30 and again I drove my car the entire way back. Traffic was bad through LA but it was the frequent stops that took a long time. Seemed like forever and now I know what it feels like to overdose on coffee. The last one I had, I ordered right on the other side of the Grapevine and I've seen people order coffee with an add shot of espresso so I figured why not? The more caffeine the better to help me with the drive. Well, it tasted gross but I was already back in the car and had to suck it down. I didn't realize the effects of it till I got home, but we stopped at Casa de Fruta to go to the bathroom and I swear as I sat down, I thought we were having a small earthquake. I was shaking from the soles of my feet all the way through my core. Franklin and his group separated off from me at the 101/85 junction and I headed home on 280 with my kids and Ricky, and by the time I got to Page Mill road, I was seeing blurry so badly that the only thing that kept me going was the thought of my kids in the car with me. It was literally a miracle I made it home without crashing. This was midnight so it was more than 10 hours. When I got home and sat down, again I was shaking from the feet all the way up and it was at that moment I realized it was the caffeine giving me such jitters. Ugh.
I've been in workout withdrawals and planned to get up early and go to Amy's BodyPump class at PAC since there were no classes at 24.I woke up before 7:00 and when I went to the bathroom I was dizzy so I went back to bed realizing I needed more sleep. I ended up going to the 10:00 class with a different instructor and without going into detail, it was an extremely frustrating experience, especially after taking AIM. Needless to say I will be more selective at the classes I attend. It's amazing at how attentive I've become to technique and instructing in general over the last year. Which reminds me, I am coming up on my one year anniversary of my initial BP training, this next weekend. Blows my mind. More reflections on that later.
Last night I realized I did something incredibly stupid. I always shut off some breakers before we leave on a trip. Just the stove, the washer and dryer, a few things so I feel better about power not being on when we are not being home. Well last night I went to the freezer to take out a loaf of bread and wondered why it was not frozen, why it was cold and soft. Then I realized I shut off the breaker for the refrigerator. CRAP. So three days later......I spent a good part of today throwing out EVERYTHING from the fridge and freezer. Made me sick to my stomach. I had gone to Costco before we left and I had to toss it all. And go replace the basics. The ONLY good thing that came out of it was that Franklin and I gave the fridge a good interior cleaning, which it needed. But there went a part of the day that I had planned to unpack, do laundry and then study. Which isn't hard to do since I've lost it. My. Mind. I am not a college student. I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, a BodyPump instructor. I can multi-task like mad. Yet I can't study for this stupid exam. Which is not mandatory. I brought this upon myself. I signed up and paid the fee to take this. And I am seriously doubting that I can do this. So many other things take priority in my day to day life that the studying happens at the end of the day, and by that time I'm too tired for any of the reading to stick.
I think I need to be realistic about this and see if I can postpone this or something. Because I don't want to take this and fail. I might as well just not do it.
I'm not a quitter. But I am just losing faith that I can do this. If I were sans children, maybe. I just can't seem to focus or get anything done outside of work, kids, home and BodyPump.
I'm extremely disappointed in myself :-(
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Bummed
Not the best start to the tournament. Lost this morning 2-0 and it set the tone for a very frustrating day. The boys played well but the other team just played harder and were more conditioned. They were from Utah. The weather was warm even in the morning and after the game we went to La Jolla Village which is near the UCSD campus where we played. This is such a nice campus and the school Alex wants to go to for film/video production but did he want to go tour the campus with me? Nope. Oh well, Cassie and I did a fair share of exploring after lunch since we had some time before the second game. Found the two nearest Starbucks to the field so I'm set for tomorrow.
The second game against a SD team, we scored within the first 2 minutes and you could see the difference in the boys. However, the other team responded in the next 5 minutes with a goal......and then another......and then another so by half time we were down 3-1. All told we lost 6-1. Just ugly. One of our players got a red card that was completely unfair but Franklin had been having issues with the referees and I think he gave our player the red just to prove a point to Franklin, who is coaching because our coach did not come. Alex has outgrown his dad as the coach and they just did not see eye to eye today which made for some intense, frustrating moments that just tug at my heart strings. Franklin needs to not come down so hard on Alex and Alex needs to be more respectful on and off the field to his dad. Period. Ugh. The mama bear emerges and does not make things better for either one of them.
This evening the boys had a choice between the mall and the boardwalk. Of course they chose the mall so we went and it's a very nice, upscale mall - Fashion Valley. We couldn't find anywhere that we adults wanted to eat - it was either Cheesecake Factory (ick) or PF Changs and so we left the boys to their own devices and drove a few blocks to a steakhouse that was sorely disappointing. The food wasn't horrible but the service was so damned slooooooooow that it got to the point at the end of the meal, after three parties around us were seated, served and excused AFTER we arrived that we asked to speak to the manager, who gave us our appetizers for freee. Whoopee. Aftere a two hour meal it was something but we wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
I'm so wiped out right now that I can't keep my eyes open let along get any studying done. Since we lost two games, we won't advance even to tomorrow afternoon so we can get our money back for tomorrow night if we check out by noon, which we will do. We will do something fun, I wanted to take Cassie to the zoo but now we have teen boys to occupy as well so it may be checking out the boardwalk or maybe the outlets in Carlsbad but if we get on the road by 3 or 4, we can be home around midnight and have missed the Sunday return traffic, which we have done on Thanksgiving weekend before and want to avoid at all costs. This will also give us all day Sunday at home to unpack and maybe, just maybe, I can get in a workout at the gym for myself and some studying time. Again I have tried so hard to study while here and it just ain't sticking. I'm beginning to wonder whatever possessed me to think I could study with two kids and two jobs. What a dufus I am.
Up at 6:00am tomorrow. Sigh.
The second game against a SD team, we scored within the first 2 minutes and you could see the difference in the boys. However, the other team responded in the next 5 minutes with a goal......and then another......and then another so by half time we were down 3-1. All told we lost 6-1. Just ugly. One of our players got a red card that was completely unfair but Franklin had been having issues with the referees and I think he gave our player the red just to prove a point to Franklin, who is coaching because our coach did not come. Alex has outgrown his dad as the coach and they just did not see eye to eye today which made for some intense, frustrating moments that just tug at my heart strings. Franklin needs to not come down so hard on Alex and Alex needs to be more respectful on and off the field to his dad. Period. Ugh. The mama bear emerges and does not make things better for either one of them.
This evening the boys had a choice between the mall and the boardwalk. Of course they chose the mall so we went and it's a very nice, upscale mall - Fashion Valley. We couldn't find anywhere that we adults wanted to eat - it was either Cheesecake Factory (ick) or PF Changs and so we left the boys to their own devices and drove a few blocks to a steakhouse that was sorely disappointing. The food wasn't horrible but the service was so damned slooooooooow that it got to the point at the end of the meal, after three parties around us were seated, served and excused AFTER we arrived that we asked to speak to the manager, who gave us our appetizers for freee. Whoopee. Aftere a two hour meal it was something but we wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
I'm so wiped out right now that I can't keep my eyes open let along get any studying done. Since we lost two games, we won't advance even to tomorrow afternoon so we can get our money back for tomorrow night if we check out by noon, which we will do. We will do something fun, I wanted to take Cassie to the zoo but now we have teen boys to occupy as well so it may be checking out the boardwalk or maybe the outlets in Carlsbad but if we get on the road by 3 or 4, we can be home around midnight and have missed the Sunday return traffic, which we have done on Thanksgiving weekend before and want to avoid at all costs. This will also give us all day Sunday at home to unpack and maybe, just maybe, I can get in a workout at the gym for myself and some studying time. Again I have tried so hard to study while here and it just ain't sticking. I'm beginning to wonder whatever possessed me to think I could study with two kids and two jobs. What a dufus I am.
Up at 6:00am tomorrow. Sigh.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Giving Thanks
As yet another Thanksgiving is upon us, again I am traveling for soccer. We are leaving early tomorrow morning to drive to San Diego to the Nomads College Showcase soccer tournament. I am thankful to spend this weekend with the three most important people in my life - Franklin, Alex and Cassie. Oh, and 14 seventeen year old boys. Hee hee.
I will not be spending the weekend with my immediate family, nor any of my close friends that are just as important to me as my blood family. Yet I hope they all know how much I love them and am thankful for their presence and support in my life. I will make sure to convey that message to them as I call them tomorrow in between stops on my long drive.
Today was a day off but it was full and crazy getting ready for our trip. Alex had school today and the rest of us were off, so at least we were up early to get going. Cassie had her 6 year old checkup, in our new doctors office. It's closer and it was nice to see familiar faces in an unfamiliar place. Cassie is growing nicely, 46 inches tall and 54.6 pounds. She's always been a bit above in the weight area compared to her height, but that's been her trend since birth so there's nothing new. However, we did talk about her tendency to graze for snacks and I'll be reigning that in because I'm noticing that she is constantly snacking even when I know she can't possibly be hungry. Granted, she's grabbing hard boiled egg whites, string cheese, fruit, yogurt, pretzels, etc. but this child can put it away and she needs to break the habit of mindless eating because she can easily substitute the healthy snacks for unhealthy ones. She's begun to play soccer but we need to step up the physical exercise.
Had a meeting in the afternoon, and while Franklin was getting soccer paperwork ready, Cassie and I changed the fish bowl (I leave it for as long as possible and the darn thing is quite the survivor!)and then we went to rent not one, not two, but three rental cars. I'll drive one, Franklin and another dad will share another and another dad in the third. Top that off with Alex going to the annual Alumni basketball game at school until 8:30 and my mother asking us at the last minute to dig her Christmas decorations out of her garage, I didn't get home until after 9:00 and had to pack. Sigh.
It's after 11:00 pm and the last load of laundry is drying as I write. I'm exhausted and need to get to slept since I'll be driving all day tomorrow. I pray it doesn't rain for long and that the traffic isn't too bad. Two years ago when we went to San Diego for a different tournament the traffic was fine on thanksgiving day. It's coming home on Sunday that I dread.
I'm bringing another release to script and write intros. I've got my textbook and study guide in the hopes that I'll have time to study. I have to. There's no choice. I scanned the practice test and I'm nowhere near ready to take it. I'm feeling incredibly screwed right now but I have to turn that attitude around and buckle down and get serious. Oh. Boy.
Off to bed. I am really thankful for all that I have and where I am in my life right now. Here's to a safe trip tomorrow and a successful tournament for my boys :-)
I will not be spending the weekend with my immediate family, nor any of my close friends that are just as important to me as my blood family. Yet I hope they all know how much I love them and am thankful for their presence and support in my life. I will make sure to convey that message to them as I call them tomorrow in between stops on my long drive.
Today was a day off but it was full and crazy getting ready for our trip. Alex had school today and the rest of us were off, so at least we were up early to get going. Cassie had her 6 year old checkup, in our new doctors office. It's closer and it was nice to see familiar faces in an unfamiliar place. Cassie is growing nicely, 46 inches tall and 54.6 pounds. She's always been a bit above in the weight area compared to her height, but that's been her trend since birth so there's nothing new. However, we did talk about her tendency to graze for snacks and I'll be reigning that in because I'm noticing that she is constantly snacking even when I know she can't possibly be hungry. Granted, she's grabbing hard boiled egg whites, string cheese, fruit, yogurt, pretzels, etc. but this child can put it away and she needs to break the habit of mindless eating because she can easily substitute the healthy snacks for unhealthy ones. She's begun to play soccer but we need to step up the physical exercise.
Had a meeting in the afternoon, and while Franklin was getting soccer paperwork ready, Cassie and I changed the fish bowl (I leave it for as long as possible and the darn thing is quite the survivor!)and then we went to rent not one, not two, but three rental cars. I'll drive one, Franklin and another dad will share another and another dad in the third. Top that off with Alex going to the annual Alumni basketball game at school until 8:30 and my mother asking us at the last minute to dig her Christmas decorations out of her garage, I didn't get home until after 9:00 and had to pack. Sigh.
It's after 11:00 pm and the last load of laundry is drying as I write. I'm exhausted and need to get to slept since I'll be driving all day tomorrow. I pray it doesn't rain for long and that the traffic isn't too bad. Two years ago when we went to San Diego for a different tournament the traffic was fine on thanksgiving day. It's coming home on Sunday that I dread.
I'm bringing another release to script and write intros. I've got my textbook and study guide in the hopes that I'll have time to study. I have to. There's no choice. I scanned the practice test and I'm nowhere near ready to take it. I'm feeling incredibly screwed right now but I have to turn that attitude around and buckle down and get serious. Oh. Boy.
Off to bed. I am really thankful for all that I have and where I am in my life right now. Here's to a safe trip tomorrow and a successful tournament for my boys :-)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Record SUNDAY!!
30+ people. In a SUNDAY class.
Not even on a launch weekend have I had that many people. I gather it's because it's the Sunday before Thanksgiving. People are coming out, knowing there are no classes this weekend in my gym and they are all itching to get in a couple of workouts before the break. It felt like a weeknight class! I saw so many new faces, and I can only hope these are people regular to the gym but have never tried a BodyPump class, and that I will see them again.
Yesterday, at PAC, I also had a record number of participants. It's a smaller room by far than at 24Hour, and my usual number for a Saturday 12:30 class is 15-20 at the most. The room was FULL. In reality, probably around 25-26 but I've never had people in every corner, up against the mirror......it was an obviously bigger class than usual. Again, I guess the holiday brings more people out? I wouldn't know because this time last year.....I was just a participant myself. I have nothing to compare this to. As I was in the locker room at PAC changing yesterday to go to lunch with a fellow instructor and her daughter, two of my older members were talking and as I said hello, one of them said "I was just telling her that you really have gained a following!" Which made me chuckle.....because I don't see it like that. It did make me feel good, but I just have fun, show my passion for the program and happen to be teaching before a holiday! I am betting serious $$ that my Tuesday class will be insane - it's the last BodyPump class for a full week until the next Tuesday, and the last Group X class except for 1 Zumba class on Saturday. People will want to "Stock up" on the calorie burn! Should be an incredible amount of energy in the room!!
I've had 4 classes under my belt since the AIM training. Thank goodness the incredibly uncomfortable feeling of the first class has passed......each class is getting progressively better in terms of my ability to space out my cues, focus my coaching, deliver my intros, and still inject my brand of ""Kristy", aka singing :) I haven't had the time yet to script cues for different releases so I can get back to mixing, but I hope to have time this coming weekend while we are in San Diego at Alex's soccer tournament (in between studying for this exam which is breathing down my neck). I got sick of 76, so today I did 78 but had to switch out the squat track because my quad is still bothersome. Today was MUCH better because I spent so much time yesterday stretching, rolling, doing some yoga, heating, etc. I'm convinced that the adjustment in my lunge stance (to the CORRECT one) is what caused the strain, or pull, or pain, or whatever it is, because the pain only comes during lunges. Squats are just fine. And although I am dreading, absolutely dreading have 7 days with no BodyPump, maybe this is a good break for my body to heal. Amanda tells me I should eat whatever I want for the week and come back to it on Monday. Hello?? I could probably gain 10 pounds over the weekend if I did that! I'm just wondering what 7 days of no exercise will do to me.....so I will look up the 24Hrs down in SD and see if any classes are happening there, and if not, maybe just to get in a workout or two so I don't feel like a sludge. We'll see.
I'm so excited to have finally purchased something I've been shopping for for the last 6 months....a Keurig coffee maker! I have been comparing prices, figuring out where I get the best deal, thinking, debating. Costco had the best deal because it comes with 60 pods of coffee which in itself is a ton of $$. I subbed so much in Daly City that after my car payment was made (which is where all my gym earnings go) I had enough left to finally buy this. SO.............I'm putting it in writing. I am done stopping off at.....sniff sniff........Starbucks.....in the mornings, since I can brew my own single travel mug in under a minute! It came with it's own little filter so I can use my SBucks coffee in there if I want. It's a win win. The coffee maker will be paid off in a month of not going to SB's. Now.........of course I will treat myself, like on the weekend, but the daily trips are subsiding.
I think I'm already going into withdrawals.
Not even on a launch weekend have I had that many people. I gather it's because it's the Sunday before Thanksgiving. People are coming out, knowing there are no classes this weekend in my gym and they are all itching to get in a couple of workouts before the break. It felt like a weeknight class! I saw so many new faces, and I can only hope these are people regular to the gym but have never tried a BodyPump class, and that I will see them again.
Yesterday, at PAC, I also had a record number of participants. It's a smaller room by far than at 24Hour, and my usual number for a Saturday 12:30 class is 15-20 at the most. The room was FULL. In reality, probably around 25-26 but I've never had people in every corner, up against the mirror......it was an obviously bigger class than usual. Again, I guess the holiday brings more people out? I wouldn't know because this time last year.....I was just a participant myself. I have nothing to compare this to. As I was in the locker room at PAC changing yesterday to go to lunch with a fellow instructor and her daughter, two of my older members were talking and as I said hello, one of them said "I was just telling her that you really have gained a following!" Which made me chuckle.....because I don't see it like that. It did make me feel good, but I just have fun, show my passion for the program and happen to be teaching before a holiday! I am betting serious $$ that my Tuesday class will be insane - it's the last BodyPump class for a full week until the next Tuesday, and the last Group X class except for 1 Zumba class on Saturday. People will want to "Stock up" on the calorie burn! Should be an incredible amount of energy in the room!!
I've had 4 classes under my belt since the AIM training. Thank goodness the incredibly uncomfortable feeling of the first class has passed......each class is getting progressively better in terms of my ability to space out my cues, focus my coaching, deliver my intros, and still inject my brand of ""Kristy", aka singing :) I haven't had the time yet to script cues for different releases so I can get back to mixing, but I hope to have time this coming weekend while we are in San Diego at Alex's soccer tournament (in between studying for this exam which is breathing down my neck). I got sick of 76, so today I did 78 but had to switch out the squat track because my quad is still bothersome. Today was MUCH better because I spent so much time yesterday stretching, rolling, doing some yoga, heating, etc. I'm convinced that the adjustment in my lunge stance (to the CORRECT one) is what caused the strain, or pull, or pain, or whatever it is, because the pain only comes during lunges. Squats are just fine. And although I am dreading, absolutely dreading have 7 days with no BodyPump, maybe this is a good break for my body to heal. Amanda tells me I should eat whatever I want for the week and come back to it on Monday. Hello?? I could probably gain 10 pounds over the weekend if I did that! I'm just wondering what 7 days of no exercise will do to me.....so I will look up the 24Hrs down in SD and see if any classes are happening there, and if not, maybe just to get in a workout or two so I don't feel like a sludge. We'll see.
I'm so excited to have finally purchased something I've been shopping for for the last 6 months....a Keurig coffee maker! I have been comparing prices, figuring out where I get the best deal, thinking, debating. Costco had the best deal because it comes with 60 pods of coffee which in itself is a ton of $$. I subbed so much in Daly City that after my car payment was made (which is where all my gym earnings go) I had enough left to finally buy this. SO.............I'm putting it in writing. I am done stopping off at.....sniff sniff........Starbucks.....in the mornings, since I can brew my own single travel mug in under a minute! It came with it's own little filter so I can use my SBucks coffee in there if I want. It's a win win. The coffee maker will be paid off in a month of not going to SB's. Now.........of course I will treat myself, like on the weekend, but the daily trips are subsiding.
I think I'm already going into withdrawals.
Friday, November 18, 2011
A Slight Improvement
Last night I stuck with BP76 since I spent all that time writing track intros and scripting cues. I have to say it was a bit better that Tuesday. I was more comfortable with the spacing of the cues, made it a focus to remember my Big voice, and a bit more fun emerged. I'm getting that it needs to be baby steps. I am done with 76, though, so tomorrow I'll begin the whole process again for another release. Makes it a bit challenging to mix things up though, but I figure as I get more "fluent" at this, I'll be able to mix easier and get through the whole process of writing and scripting so it doesn't take me as long. I tell you, as much as I love this program and am passionate about teaching it, it does take a huge commitment and dedication in order to do it RIGHT. Yes, I could just teach. I could just go in and out and not think too hard about what I'm doing, and just deliver a class that is alright. There are instructors like that.
Unfortunately, my personality is not going to allow me to do that. Not for a program I love so much. Sigh. I'm passionate about it and so I am willing to put in the time necessary to do it the way it was delivered to me. Until you go through the training, and actually put in the time to teach, you simply cannot know the amount of work that goes in to being a good instructor. I don't do this for the money. I don't do this because I need to work out anyway. It goes deeper than that. I do it because I love it. Because I want to change someone's life the way mine was forever altered. I do it because it's fun, it gets results, and it empowers me to try harder, to challenge myself and to keep learning. It never gets boring, and I'm never bored teaching it. This advanced coaching has just ensured that it will NEVER get boring - there's too much brain activity that goes along with doing this that there's always more for me to learn and experience.
I've got a pain, a knot in my left quad that is plaguing me. Last night during squats and especially lunges it was amazingly painful. I've rolled it out and have a heating pad on it. But ouch. I think it's because I had to shorten my lunge stance and as a result, they are harder and I feel them more intensely. Lovely :)
I'm wiped. Three full days of conferences and the last thing I want to do right now, at almost 11pm, is to script/cue/study. The countdown begins......my exam is a month from yesterday.
Good grief.
Unfortunately, my personality is not going to allow me to do that. Not for a program I love so much. Sigh. I'm passionate about it and so I am willing to put in the time necessary to do it the way it was delivered to me. Until you go through the training, and actually put in the time to teach, you simply cannot know the amount of work that goes in to being a good instructor. I don't do this for the money. I don't do this because I need to work out anyway. It goes deeper than that. I do it because I love it. Because I want to change someone's life the way mine was forever altered. I do it because it's fun, it gets results, and it empowers me to try harder, to challenge myself and to keep learning. It never gets boring, and I'm never bored teaching it. This advanced coaching has just ensured that it will NEVER get boring - there's too much brain activity that goes along with doing this that there's always more for me to learn and experience.
I've got a pain, a knot in my left quad that is plaguing me. Last night during squats and especially lunges it was amazingly painful. I've rolled it out and have a heating pad on it. But ouch. I think it's because I had to shorten my lunge stance and as a result, they are harder and I feel them more intensely. Lovely :)
I'm wiped. Three full days of conferences and the last thing I want to do right now, at almost 11pm, is to script/cue/study. The countdown begins......my exam is a month from yesterday.
Good grief.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
AIM and Beyond
I made it through the Advanced Instructor Module. In one piece. I knew it would focus on technique and advanced coaching. While it was not exactly what I expected, it blew my mind. Things are starting to click now. I m so excited to put what I learned into play and take teaching to a new level.
I was silly to worry about the kind of people and levels of experience of the people in the training, there were people who have been instructing for years and years, as well as people who have been instructing as long as I have been. I met so many great instructors, from Southere California to Stockton, Fairfield and San Francisco, from 24hr Fitness to the YMCA.
The trainer was Megan Peterson, Northern American BodyPump trainer and she was awesome!Very down to earth and funny, honest, helpful and to the point. I'm not going to detail the day, but suffice it to say I'm not the only one who talks too much in classes! There was an overall theme of instructors needing to organize our cues, and coach with a sense of purpose, that was missing across the board. I realized I've been giving a grocery list of cues throughout my classes without really delivering the cues with a purpose, and by giving too many cues too close together,npeople have a hard time following them all or even understanding what I'm saying. To slow down gives participants a chance to process them one by one, get the technique down and perform them well.
I've never really scripted my cues, even though Alex has told me numerous times. I'm always too busy, and as I got more experience, I figured I knew what compulsory cues to give so why do I need to write them down? It's like journaling what you eat in order to really be aware what goes in your mouth, when you do things mindlessly, its never a good thing. There needs to be an awareness, whether it's what goes in your body or what you say to a group of BodyPumpers. I realized I throw out cues left and right and I'm constantly repeating myself throughout a track, probably because I fee the need to repeat it because people need the reminding.
I scripted cues for the last two days, wrote out track introductions in order to include the track focus and decided to go back to 76 since that was my training release and I knew the chorey so well. Tonight in class......I'm not going to say it was an epic fail, but it almost felt like I went back to the beginning again. Maybe I tried to do too much at once. I delivered the track intros well, quickly and with a focus. The problem came with my overthinking too much that fifth voice, the one of silence, and as a result, I don't think it was a great class. Yes, I had people tell me it was at the end, and Amanda gave me great feedback, saying some tracks were better than others but I wasn't as animated and my Big voice was missing. I did space out my cues and I didn't repeat myself. Amanda said by the last few tracks, I talked "more" but that's probably because I felt a bit stifled earlier and it was just starting to escape me!
Sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought and take longer to evolve. It's definitely not as easy as it sounds.
I did gain a new member tonight, a participant and fellow teacher brought her friend and she liked my class, turns out she was a former Golds member and remembers me from there, and decided to join once she took my class tonight, so that was a positive. All I can do is keep trying, fill those gaps with some fitness magic, and keep scripting.
Tomorrow I have 9 parent teacher conferences starting before school and until after 4:00. I'm very much looking forward to a 90 minutes massage, as I'm very tight in my quads. Then off to script more and hopefully get into that textbook that I need to focus on.
Deep breath.
I was silly to worry about the kind of people and levels of experience of the people in the training, there were people who have been instructing for years and years, as well as people who have been instructing as long as I have been. I met so many great instructors, from Southere California to Stockton, Fairfield and San Francisco, from 24hr Fitness to the YMCA.
The trainer was Megan Peterson, Northern American BodyPump trainer and she was awesome!Very down to earth and funny, honest, helpful and to the point. I'm not going to detail the day, but suffice it to say I'm not the only one who talks too much in classes! There was an overall theme of instructors needing to organize our cues, and coach with a sense of purpose, that was missing across the board. I realized I've been giving a grocery list of cues throughout my classes without really delivering the cues with a purpose, and by giving too many cues too close together,npeople have a hard time following them all or even understanding what I'm saying. To slow down gives participants a chance to process them one by one, get the technique down and perform them well.
I've never really scripted my cues, even though Alex has told me numerous times. I'm always too busy, and as I got more experience, I figured I knew what compulsory cues to give so why do I need to write them down? It's like journaling what you eat in order to really be aware what goes in your mouth, when you do things mindlessly, its never a good thing. There needs to be an awareness, whether it's what goes in your body or what you say to a group of BodyPumpers. I realized I throw out cues left and right and I'm constantly repeating myself throughout a track, probably because I fee the need to repeat it because people need the reminding.
I scripted cues for the last two days, wrote out track introductions in order to include the track focus and decided to go back to 76 since that was my training release and I knew the chorey so well. Tonight in class......I'm not going to say it was an epic fail, but it almost felt like I went back to the beginning again. Maybe I tried to do too much at once. I delivered the track intros well, quickly and with a focus. The problem came with my overthinking too much that fifth voice, the one of silence, and as a result, I don't think it was a great class. Yes, I had people tell me it was at the end, and Amanda gave me great feedback, saying some tracks were better than others but I wasn't as animated and my Big voice was missing. I did space out my cues and I didn't repeat myself. Amanda said by the last few tracks, I talked "more" but that's probably because I felt a bit stifled earlier and it was just starting to escape me!
Sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought and take longer to evolve. It's definitely not as easy as it sounds.
I did gain a new member tonight, a participant and fellow teacher brought her friend and she liked my class, turns out she was a former Golds member and remembers me from there, and decided to join once she took my class tonight, so that was a positive. All I can do is keep trying, fill those gaps with some fitness magic, and keep scripting.
Tomorrow I have 9 parent teacher conferences starting before school and until after 4:00. I'm very much looking forward to a 90 minutes massage, as I'm very tight in my quads. Then off to script more and hopefully get into that textbook that I need to focus on.
Deep breath.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Sigh
I'm off. I don't know why. The day wasn't bad, pretty calm considering yesterday. My wrist is still swollen, but I can move it and actually did some pushups tonight. I should be good to go for class tomorrow.
I'm really tired. So I should be sleeping. The kids are out, Franklin is still not home from practice. Alexander is sick with the stomach flu and thinks he has a stomach tumor. And people call me a drama queen? I know it's just something viral but I'll call his doctor tomorrow. Just to make sure nothing ruptures. Good grief.
I'm hungry. Was craving cereal and milk for some weird reason and fought it and went to bed instead. Sigh. I wish I knew what was going on.
My head hurts. But I don't want to take Advil since I just popped Benadryl for my wrist.
I guess I just need to bitch a bit. Which is stupid because I'm pretty damned fortunate and have no business bitching about anything. I don't even really have anything worth bitching about. I guess it's just one of those stupid moods that women get into.
So I better just go to bed. And complain all I want in my dream and cherish the thought that I only have to work tomorrow and have a three day weekend.
Sigh.
I'm really tired. So I should be sleeping. The kids are out, Franklin is still not home from practice. Alexander is sick with the stomach flu and thinks he has a stomach tumor. And people call me a drama queen? I know it's just something viral but I'll call his doctor tomorrow. Just to make sure nothing ruptures. Good grief.
I'm hungry. Was craving cereal and milk for some weird reason and fought it and went to bed instead. Sigh. I wish I knew what was going on.
My head hurts. But I don't want to take Advil since I just popped Benadryl for my wrist.
I guess I just need to bitch a bit. Which is stupid because I'm pretty damned fortunate and have no business bitching about anything. I don't even really have anything worth bitching about. I guess it's just one of those stupid moods that women get into.
So I better just go to bed. And complain all I want in my dream and cherish the thought that I only have to work tomorrow and have a three day weekend.
Sigh.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
To Bee or Not to Bee
I hate bees.
I realize they play a very important part in nature. I could care less tonight. A bee attacked me today, literally. We've had a bit of a bee problem on the playground at school for a week, with an excess of them hanging out by one of the slides. They may be looking for a place to build a hive, I don't know, but there have been too many hanging around and freaking the kids out. Miraculously no one has gotten stung....until a student yesterday. And today? Moi.
I was standing at recess just holding my Starbucks in one hand and my other hand casually hangning by my side and Kerry mentioned that there were a lot of bees out again today. I agreed and then immediately felt a burning, no, an INTENSE fire on the inside of my wrist. I held it up to look and saw the stinger sticking out of my inner wrist. Before I could say WTF the bee came crawling out of my sleeve! Well, what do I do? The usually calm, collected one in a crisis? I grab my wrist and say, "Help me, help me, what do I do? Gimme a credit card! I need a credit card! OMG help me!" Now before you judge (I was not screaming, just intensely speaking) let me just say that this pain was intense. A burning like fire right on the most sensitive part of the inside of the wrist. Like a hot poker. So Barb, the special Ed preschool teacher, said, "Use your badge!" the one hanging on my neck with my keys that has my school ID on it. I held it out to her and said "YOU DO IT!!" as I pulled my head back so I didn't have to look. She grabbed it and my wrist, tried to scrape it but couldn't reach it because I had my head backed away (by this time I hoped the little bugger was dead. I would have liked to stomp on it myself). Barb told me she couldn't scrape it because it wouldn't reach so I had to lean in closer and she scraped it off. The pain did NOT cease, and she sent her assistant in for an ice pack which immediately took away the pain.
I went to the office to let the principal know that they needed to get someone out from the district to look into the bee problem. Get someone to spray or do something. We have too many students out there and if one gets stung for the first time and is highly allergic, we could have a problem. She put in a work order.
The funny thing is that I had put a student on time out for a couple of minutes right at the start of recess. After dealing with my bee drama, it was time to go in so I blew my whistle and he came up to me, and waving his hands like he was Italian, said " Teacher, why didn't you let me go play? Now we have to go in!" I looked at him and said "Look buddy, I got stung by a bee and completely forgot you were on the bench. Sorry!" He just looked at me like that was no excuse at all!
It was not that hard to teach the rest of the day and the kids were fascinated by the mark and swelling and redness on my arm. It didn't hurt too much but I got a raging headache by lunch. At 1:00 I got a call from my mom that the high school called and Alex was sick and needed to be picked up. I had to distribute my Laters Gators to the other teachers so I could run up to Woodside and get him and drop him off at moms and then run back down before dismissal. He was a bit peeved that I pulled him out of class because he missed some research time in the lab, but he's the one that made the initial call. Now he is in bed with the stomach flu but insists on going to school tomorrow because of all the responsibilities he has and a couple of meetings. He gets his stubbornness from me I suppose.
After school I actually was productive and did long overdue cleaning and filing and the wrist was not so bad. Once I got to my moms later and did homework with Cassie before we all left for the gym, it started hurting a lot more. I realized that I had trouble bending the wrist either way because of the pain and swelling and when I got down to try to do a push up......OUCH! Intense pain. Great.
Class was super packed. The men came back ;-) I had 7 and recognized two new male faces from last week. It's cool that more men are getting over their "oh it's just for girls" class. The weird thing is two of my regular guys came to the front row tonight. I NEVER have guys in the front row, but HELLO, right in front of me. I had to shift a bit to the right because it was so unnerving!
I told them all I was going to a training this weekend and that I was going back to 79 for the week to brush up on chorey, and that I was stung by a bee and may not be able to do pushups. That got a chuckle since I've been encouraging them to get off their knees. I felt some discomfort during biceps, and tricep dips? Excruciating. Lunges - I rubbed the bottom of my shoes with my hands (thanks for the tip Amanda!) and did not slip at all. But I have to say that even less than 2 weeks away from this release......the intensity of this release and how hard it is and how AMAZING it is is very obvious! Wow.
Shoulders......OUCH. I tried, so hard, to get on my toes but the pain in that wrist was unbearable so I did them all on my knees, which was still excruciating and I cursed silently in my head for all 8 in the beginning and all 16 at the end. All I can say is this better improve by Sunday. I mean, what if I'm given the shoulders track? I'm screwed if I can't do pushups!
I just may keep the kids in from recess tomorrow if there are still bees out. I don't need any more drama in my life, thank you very much. Today was plenty.
I realize they play a very important part in nature. I could care less tonight. A bee attacked me today, literally. We've had a bit of a bee problem on the playground at school for a week, with an excess of them hanging out by one of the slides. They may be looking for a place to build a hive, I don't know, but there have been too many hanging around and freaking the kids out. Miraculously no one has gotten stung....until a student yesterday. And today? Moi.
I was standing at recess just holding my Starbucks in one hand and my other hand casually hangning by my side and Kerry mentioned that there were a lot of bees out again today. I agreed and then immediately felt a burning, no, an INTENSE fire on the inside of my wrist. I held it up to look and saw the stinger sticking out of my inner wrist. Before I could say WTF the bee came crawling out of my sleeve! Well, what do I do? The usually calm, collected one in a crisis? I grab my wrist and say, "Help me, help me, what do I do? Gimme a credit card! I need a credit card! OMG help me!" Now before you judge (I was not screaming, just intensely speaking) let me just say that this pain was intense. A burning like fire right on the most sensitive part of the inside of the wrist. Like a hot poker. So Barb, the special Ed preschool teacher, said, "Use your badge!" the one hanging on my neck with my keys that has my school ID on it. I held it out to her and said "YOU DO IT!!" as I pulled my head back so I didn't have to look. She grabbed it and my wrist, tried to scrape it but couldn't reach it because I had my head backed away (by this time I hoped the little bugger was dead. I would have liked to stomp on it myself). Barb told me she couldn't scrape it because it wouldn't reach so I had to lean in closer and she scraped it off. The pain did NOT cease, and she sent her assistant in for an ice pack which immediately took away the pain.
I went to the office to let the principal know that they needed to get someone out from the district to look into the bee problem. Get someone to spray or do something. We have too many students out there and if one gets stung for the first time and is highly allergic, we could have a problem. She put in a work order.
The funny thing is that I had put a student on time out for a couple of minutes right at the start of recess. After dealing with my bee drama, it was time to go in so I blew my whistle and he came up to me, and waving his hands like he was Italian, said " Teacher, why didn't you let me go play? Now we have to go in!" I looked at him and said "Look buddy, I got stung by a bee and completely forgot you were on the bench. Sorry!" He just looked at me like that was no excuse at all!
It was not that hard to teach the rest of the day and the kids were fascinated by the mark and swelling and redness on my arm. It didn't hurt too much but I got a raging headache by lunch. At 1:00 I got a call from my mom that the high school called and Alex was sick and needed to be picked up. I had to distribute my Laters Gators to the other teachers so I could run up to Woodside and get him and drop him off at moms and then run back down before dismissal. He was a bit peeved that I pulled him out of class because he missed some research time in the lab, but he's the one that made the initial call. Now he is in bed with the stomach flu but insists on going to school tomorrow because of all the responsibilities he has and a couple of meetings. He gets his stubbornness from me I suppose.
After school I actually was productive and did long overdue cleaning and filing and the wrist was not so bad. Once I got to my moms later and did homework with Cassie before we all left for the gym, it started hurting a lot more. I realized that I had trouble bending the wrist either way because of the pain and swelling and when I got down to try to do a push up......OUCH! Intense pain. Great.
Class was super packed. The men came back ;-) I had 7 and recognized two new male faces from last week. It's cool that more men are getting over their "oh it's just for girls" class. The weird thing is two of my regular guys came to the front row tonight. I NEVER have guys in the front row, but HELLO, right in front of me. I had to shift a bit to the right because it was so unnerving!
I told them all I was going to a training this weekend and that I was going back to 79 for the week to brush up on chorey, and that I was stung by a bee and may not be able to do pushups. That got a chuckle since I've been encouraging them to get off their knees. I felt some discomfort during biceps, and tricep dips? Excruciating. Lunges - I rubbed the bottom of my shoes with my hands (thanks for the tip Amanda!) and did not slip at all. But I have to say that even less than 2 weeks away from this release......the intensity of this release and how hard it is and how AMAZING it is is very obvious! Wow.
Shoulders......OUCH. I tried, so hard, to get on my toes but the pain in that wrist was unbearable so I did them all on my knees, which was still excruciating and I cursed silently in my head for all 8 in the beginning and all 16 at the end. All I can say is this better improve by Sunday. I mean, what if I'm given the shoulders track? I'm screwed if I can't do pushups!
I just may keep the kids in from recess tomorrow if there are still bees out. I don't need any more drama in my life, thank you very much. Today was plenty.
Monday, November 7, 2011
DDD
No, not a bra size. Certainly not mine, anyway. DDD stands for Distracted, Derailed and Drama. All of what I'm feeling tonight.
I actually left work early today, early for me. 3:30. I'd just put the final touches on my report cards and emailed the principal that they were complete. It's amazing to me that each time, the kinder teachers freak out and I ask the principal for a two to three day extension. Then I go and finish on the original due date. Happens every single time. This causes a bit of resentment with other kinder teachers because they are still assessing kids and have to have the report cards in by Wednesday. So sue me. I work best under pressure, always have and it sucks but it's me. The evilness I got today from one teacher just astounded me. I plan ahead. I had a parent come in and help me with some testing. I did some actual teaching, then gave them independent work and assessed. I got my s**t done, and it causes resentment. Drama. Whatever.
Coming home early allowed me to make a pot of homemade chicken veggie soup. I did really well with the knife this time, but picked up the peeler to peel the carrots and.....yep. Took off half my fingernail all the way down to the quick and the top layer of the tip of my finger. At least there was no blood and I know the peeler works. Good grief. This is why I don't cook much. I've also discovered the complete disgust my son has for celery. If I hadn't carried him in my belly I'd really wonder about him sometimes.
Dad was on my mind today. John Brand is at school subbing for the VP for a few days so he brought me a new playground ball and I spent time catching up with him after school, talking about all his trips he's taking in between subbing. It's amazing how much he reminds me of dad when they really are nothing alike. They are both good ole boys and there is just something about him that reminds me of the good parts of dad. After school, I met Franklin and Cassie at rite aid because I left my wallet in my gym bag yesterday after teaching and had no money, there was a song playing in the store that was one of dad's favorites. Some country tune that goes "Hey, good lookin. Whatcha got cookin? How's about cooking something up for me?" I had to chuckle at that one. At least it wasn't the one he would always sing to me. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. I would have started bawling in the store. Crap, now I'm tearing up as I write. Onto other things.
I've had several great BodyPump classes lately. Yesterday, though, was a first in a looooong time. NO MEN. Yep. Must have been the 49er game. Each class I have 6-7, even at PAC on saturday I had 7 which is a lot for that class, and 3 were new ones I had never seen. So to have an entire class full of estrogen yesterday was different and quite fun! They are beginning to step it up, adding weights, doing push ups on their toes. I had a brand new girl who came with another fairly new participant. I was able to work with them after class because the new girl had struggled with technique for squats. It was so rewarding to give her feedback and see her make adjustments to the correct positioning! I also had her friend tell me she goes to a BP class in San Jose but she likes mine and is going to start coming to the weekday classes as well.
I'm gearing up for AIM on Sunday. I'm excited and feel really ready to take my instruction to the next level. But I'll be honest. I'm also freaking out. What else is new? I know a bit of what will go on, but there's the intimidation factor. Not knowing who else will be there, how much more experience they will have, what track will I be assigned and how badly will I screw it up? I'm confident, as I listen to BP79 again tonight that I have the chorey nailed. I haven't done it since before Halloween but its all coming back. I actually am not hoping for one track over another, not like with initial training. Deb joked that I would get lunges. Meh. If I do, so be it. Of course, back is my favorite but I love this release so much that I could get triceps or lunges and still be happy. It is what it is. I just worry about challenges or whatevere else they throw our way. I have to bring a belt and a yardstick. My curiosity is peaked for sure!
I'm so thankful but really bummed that Alex is subbing for me on Sunday because I won't get to take the class from him! I have only told a couple of people he will be there but I will let the gang know. They will be excited to have him all to themselves!
One of the gang, a former Gold's participant, gave me the greatest compliment today. Yesterday in class, I called her name out a couple of times for different things. I'm not even sure what they were, one was during a track and she stopped so I might have used her name and pushed her to keep going, and the other time was I believe she was cleaning up at the start of abs or something. Well I got a sense from her at the end that made me want to connect with here after class to see if everything was okay but because I started talking to the new girl, I didn't get the chance. I sent her a FB message and reached out, apologizing if I was a bit to strong in calling her out and to make sure she wasn't mad. Her response made me feel so good inside. She told me that she could NEVER be mad at me, that I'm a true professional and motivator. She told me she would not be where she is physically if it weren't for me and that my classes and the women she's meeting keeps her going. She then thanked me for pushing her to do push ups on her toes because she has noticed a difference in her shoulders and back. We are getting together for coffee this weekend to chat and I feel honored that she wants to connect and that she holds my classes so highly. This is what makes it worth it. To give back the way others have given to me. It's paying it forward.
So the Distracted and Derailed part above comes from the fact that even though I read 7 chapters in my text yesterday, I'm still on chapter 16 out of 45. Even now, I should be reading but I haven't blogged in so long and I really did have the textbook open on my lap and just couldn't get into it tonight. Maybe I did too much reading yesterday! I'm gonna be in serious trouble if I don't buckle down. I don't know if I work better under pressure in this instance. Sigh.
At this point, nothing I read tonight will stick so I'm calling it a night and getting to sleep. This extra has done nothing for me except get me to wake up early this morning, fight getting up and still I made it to work at the same time. I should get a job working graveyard. I'm better at night anyway.
I actually left work early today, early for me. 3:30. I'd just put the final touches on my report cards and emailed the principal that they were complete. It's amazing to me that each time, the kinder teachers freak out and I ask the principal for a two to three day extension. Then I go and finish on the original due date. Happens every single time. This causes a bit of resentment with other kinder teachers because they are still assessing kids and have to have the report cards in by Wednesday. So sue me. I work best under pressure, always have and it sucks but it's me. The evilness I got today from one teacher just astounded me. I plan ahead. I had a parent come in and help me with some testing. I did some actual teaching, then gave them independent work and assessed. I got my s**t done, and it causes resentment. Drama. Whatever.
Coming home early allowed me to make a pot of homemade chicken veggie soup. I did really well with the knife this time, but picked up the peeler to peel the carrots and.....yep. Took off half my fingernail all the way down to the quick and the top layer of the tip of my finger. At least there was no blood and I know the peeler works. Good grief. This is why I don't cook much. I've also discovered the complete disgust my son has for celery. If I hadn't carried him in my belly I'd really wonder about him sometimes.
Dad was on my mind today. John Brand is at school subbing for the VP for a few days so he brought me a new playground ball and I spent time catching up with him after school, talking about all his trips he's taking in between subbing. It's amazing how much he reminds me of dad when they really are nothing alike. They are both good ole boys and there is just something about him that reminds me of the good parts of dad. After school, I met Franklin and Cassie at rite aid because I left my wallet in my gym bag yesterday after teaching and had no money, there was a song playing in the store that was one of dad's favorites. Some country tune that goes "Hey, good lookin. Whatcha got cookin? How's about cooking something up for me?" I had to chuckle at that one. At least it wasn't the one he would always sing to me. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. I would have started bawling in the store. Crap, now I'm tearing up as I write. Onto other things.
I've had several great BodyPump classes lately. Yesterday, though, was a first in a looooong time. NO MEN. Yep. Must have been the 49er game. Each class I have 6-7, even at PAC on saturday I had 7 which is a lot for that class, and 3 were new ones I had never seen. So to have an entire class full of estrogen yesterday was different and quite fun! They are beginning to step it up, adding weights, doing push ups on their toes. I had a brand new girl who came with another fairly new participant. I was able to work with them after class because the new girl had struggled with technique for squats. It was so rewarding to give her feedback and see her make adjustments to the correct positioning! I also had her friend tell me she goes to a BP class in San Jose but she likes mine and is going to start coming to the weekday classes as well.
I'm gearing up for AIM on Sunday. I'm excited and feel really ready to take my instruction to the next level. But I'll be honest. I'm also freaking out. What else is new? I know a bit of what will go on, but there's the intimidation factor. Not knowing who else will be there, how much more experience they will have, what track will I be assigned and how badly will I screw it up? I'm confident, as I listen to BP79 again tonight that I have the chorey nailed. I haven't done it since before Halloween but its all coming back. I actually am not hoping for one track over another, not like with initial training. Deb joked that I would get lunges. Meh. If I do, so be it. Of course, back is my favorite but I love this release so much that I could get triceps or lunges and still be happy. It is what it is. I just worry about challenges or whatevere else they throw our way. I have to bring a belt and a yardstick. My curiosity is peaked for sure!
I'm so thankful but really bummed that Alex is subbing for me on Sunday because I won't get to take the class from him! I have only told a couple of people he will be there but I will let the gang know. They will be excited to have him all to themselves!
One of the gang, a former Gold's participant, gave me the greatest compliment today. Yesterday in class, I called her name out a couple of times for different things. I'm not even sure what they were, one was during a track and she stopped so I might have used her name and pushed her to keep going, and the other time was I believe she was cleaning up at the start of abs or something. Well I got a sense from her at the end that made me want to connect with here after class to see if everything was okay but because I started talking to the new girl, I didn't get the chance. I sent her a FB message and reached out, apologizing if I was a bit to strong in calling her out and to make sure she wasn't mad. Her response made me feel so good inside. She told me that she could NEVER be mad at me, that I'm a true professional and motivator. She told me she would not be where she is physically if it weren't for me and that my classes and the women she's meeting keeps her going. She then thanked me for pushing her to do push ups on her toes because she has noticed a difference in her shoulders and back. We are getting together for coffee this weekend to chat and I feel honored that she wants to connect and that she holds my classes so highly. This is what makes it worth it. To give back the way others have given to me. It's paying it forward.
So the Distracted and Derailed part above comes from the fact that even though I read 7 chapters in my text yesterday, I'm still on chapter 16 out of 45. Even now, I should be reading but I haven't blogged in so long and I really did have the textbook open on my lap and just couldn't get into it tonight. Maybe I did too much reading yesterday! I'm gonna be in serious trouble if I don't buckle down. I don't know if I work better under pressure in this instance. Sigh.
At this point, nothing I read tonight will stick so I'm calling it a night and getting to sleep. This extra has done nothing for me except get me to wake up early this morning, fight getting up and still I made it to work at the same time. I should get a job working graveyard. I'm better at night anyway.
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