Sick Sick Sick

Double ear infection. Sinus infection. On antibiotics again, plus a probiotic. UGH. Still can't breathe. I am thankful not to be teaching BP until Saturday and Sunday.

I didn't get any work done today, but I must return to work tomorrow. I have to decide whether or not to kick the videographer out of my classroom tomorrow because I can't imagine teaching a lesson on film sounding and looking like I do. I still have those forms due on Friday and I think there's a staff meeting tomorrow afternoon that I am going to do my best to get out of. Maybe sneak home and take a nap before Cassie's Open House at 6:00.

Gotta get something off my chest. I am not perfect. I have never said I was perfect. Sure, I strive to be. But I am new at this instructor thing. Yes, it feels at times like I have been doing this for a long long time. But in reality it's only been 4 months. I know I screwed up last week increasing my bicep weight and not being able to finish it in front of my class. I made a mistake and I learned my lesson. I do not think that means I should go back to the drawing board.  It's not like I forgot everything from training, it means I am human and I took a chance and it bit me in the butt. Does it make me a bad instructor? I hope not, although I feel like it. Does it make stop and think about my purpose in class and why I am doing this? Sure. I know I am doing this for my participants. I know I did not show, display and demonstrate competency, effectiveness, strength and safety. I know STOPPING IS NOT  OK.  I know I should not practice or improvise in class. But hell, I am still learning here and if I take what happened and do it again? Then no, I am not doing my job. If I take my mistake and learn from it? Then lesson learned.

Sigh.