The Countdown Begins

Today was good. Looked like a dork, but the day was good. Crazy Thursday as usual.

Stretched throughout the day, pain very minimal, more of a tightness that signals I need to stretch. Has to do a Costco run and stocked up on veggies for my pasta dish that I'll make Saturday for my carb loaded dinner.

The good news is that Steph and I walked alot tonight, an while I was a bit freaked to start running, after about three miles we ran the last mile and I had no pain and my endurance was good, I could have done more but we came to the end. I felt great and am not worried about Sunday, other than:

*oversleeping
*getting sick
*getting food poisoning
*stepping on something and spraining something
*getting the runs and/or throwing up

I'm sure there's more but I'm determined to think positive. I can't wait to get back to my normal emotional self. I came home tonight at 8:30 from the run and tore apart the kitchen -cleaned the fridge of all the science experiments, loaded and ran the dishwasher and ordered pizza. Simply could not handle dinner. Cassie had eaten at moms so I just had to worry about the boys who were at practice and me. Made a salad and am icing right now. It's almost 10:00 and I still haven't eaten and have to shower. Too much nervous energy going on.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. If there are typos in this it's because I did it with my new iPhone and I'm still getting the hang of it.

No one better ask me for any favors or to do something requiring any brain power because my head is going to explode.

Talked Off the Ledge.....Just a Bit

I've calmed down a bit. Just a bit.

The day started with a wonderful wake up email from my childhood friend who knows just what to say when I start to doubt myself.  Without going into details, she reminded me that this race "does not define me" so I need to trust my body, trust the universe and realize that my fitness goals go far beyond the San Jose Rock N Roll 1/2 Marathon. Determination is the key, keeping my head in the game is key and no matter what happens or doesn't happen this Sunday, I am still on a journey to a better me and this is just a bump in the road. I can decide to walk the entire thing, run/walk or not go at all, if my body is protesting. I cannot and will not ignore what my body is telling me. Thank you, my friend, for reminding me that I am so much more than this one event. (btw I haven't had a chance to respond to your email but look for it) :)

However, that said.........I am just competitive enough to be thoroughly bummed if this one event doesn't happen. I will get through this and over this if need be.

So today I saw my chiropractor, who assured me that my pain was not serious, just my body complaining. It's a tendon, and he gave me stretches with strict instructions to do them OFTEN in the next few days. I think part of the problem is that although I am stretching after my runs, I am not stretching enough. I get off the roller when the pain is too much. I control the pressure of the stick and back off when it is too much. So I really need to pay attention to the stretches, get more intimate with my foam roller and take better care of my body. I have been told this in the past, and Alex would smack me if he could, I'm sure. It's not that I haven't been doing them; just not enough. Point taken.

Dr. T thinks I will have no problem with this on Sunday, even if I have to walk. I will go on my run tomorrow, but walk longer and if it feels okay, see how the knee feels. We talked about stretching before and after, and about walking out any pain. I am only to ice after my run/walk, and use heat prior to stretching on the off days. Advil is my friend. I am also to wear either my running shoes or other athletic shoes every day till the event for more support, since the sandals aren't cutting it. Doesn't do much for my "look", haha. Got some strange looks today - capris and running shoes? Oh well.

I am relieved, I am hopeful, I am continuing to visualize myself finishing. I will ask for guidance and support and I will listen to my body.

Whatever happens, I am proud of what I have accomplished in my journey. I showed Dr. T the before pictures of me from 2 years ago and he told his office assistants how petite I am now. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Me, petite? Cracked me up.

Then I left and had a massage. She worked, per his instructions, on my quads, my hamstrings, gently on my knees and my shins. I walked out feeling good.

Still have some discomfort, more of the tightness that tells me to stretch. I am relieved and hopeful.

And off to bed. Last night, sleep evaded me and caused me to be late for work. So off to dream of my journey......

@%&**#@^*>@<#<$%<^<^&&**

I spewed every curse word in the book tonight. I SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE IT.....5 STUPID LOUSY DAYS BEFORE THE BIGGEST FITNESS EVENT I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE AND NOW THIS????!!!!!!

MY FRIGGIN KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now whether or not this is race week stupid hormonal emotional drama messing with my head or real pain but I had been looking forward all day to running tonight, even in the heat. By 6:30 it had cooled to 94 with a breeze and felt pretty good. Steph and I walked our customary 1/4 mile to the stop light and then took off across the street.

Not 1/2 a mile later, I felt a twinge of pain in my left knee along the front (a new pain) and then we had to stop because we found an ID badge (the kind that you have to swipe to get into a building) so we ran over to the nearest building to see if we could drop it off with security so they could call the guy that dropped it. So by this time, the pain is getting worse, and by the time we began to run back to the street, I had to stop. CRAP!! I couldn't walk without limping. This is a new pain, one I don't understand because I didn't twist, feel a pop, or do anything to warrant the sharp pain I was feeling.

I was GREAT on Sunday. I ran over rocks, tree branches, leaves, roots.  I was FINE yesterday. My knees were not bothering me at all. Only my shins and ankles and heel, from the trail run. So WTH????!!!!

When I told Steph the only thing I could think of was that I wore my sandally flip flops to work today, she looked at me dumbstruck and said "I thought we were not going to wear shoes without support on run days!!!" Well, damn, it was too hot to wear closed toe shoes like I did yesterday, and I simply forgot. This is the only thing  I can think of. The last time I wore sandals, then put on my running shoes, I had some other pain, I can't remember what it was now.

The last time we ran on a Tuesday (2 weeks ago, since last week I was sick) I had the shooting pain in my butt and we had to walk. So is this ALL IN MY HEAD??? What is going on?? This CANNOT BE happening! I only have 5 days. I am SO freaking out right now. I kept my cool as I dropped Steph off at her house, but she made a comment like "It's like God is trying to tell you something because things keep coming up about this race" and I said "YOU STOP IT RIGHT THERE! Nothing is going to stop me from running this race! I have visualized this for too long, pictured myself crossing that finish line."

UGH I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff, or on a ledge somewhere and someone better come talk me off of it because this simply cannot happen. I feel the frustration bubbling up inside of me and I am afraid of what it's going to look like when it pops out of me. Is it my age? I can't be too old to run this. I know several people doing it that are older than me. My knees have gotten better since I started running.

I WILL run on Sunday. I will NOT have pain. I WILL FEEL GREAT and finish this event because I deserve it and I CAN do it. I have to keep telling myself this.

But right now I'm crying tears of frustration because I am so incredibly freaked out about not being able to do it. Why? Now?

Wow

Woke up late this morning, Cassie the Diva had an ABSOLUTE cow over putting on her new shoes (which were fine yesterday, and not okay today) and we left the house late. After I dumped her at mom's I went to Starbucks and as I was driving to school, I had a strange wave of happiness wash over me. Huh? After the morning I just had?

And all of a sudden, I was excited about the event on Sunday. It was a strange feeling. Just pure happiness. Excitement. Hmmm. Steph had asked me on Sunday if I was getting excited and I paused, then said I didn't know, I was still nervous about it. So to have this feeling was pretty unexpected.

My little crier/bolter/biter pulled her crap again today, but I was able to handle it better and she spent the better part of the day with the principal. So there.

 I found out from a fellow teacher (and marathon runner!) that she is planning to come to the event on Sunday, and then Janet told me she and Jeanett were also coming. I am floored that these people want to come out and support me. Really, because I just didn't expect it. I only figured Franklin and the kids. Now there will be several friends as well. Totally cool. This other teacher is also going to talk to me after school about race day tips that she has acquired over the years and help to prep me. Again, I am floored by the support.

Now if I could just get rid of this stupid cough. It's okay during the day but last night and tonight, I will get these bouts of uncontrollable coughing that make me want to hurl. I don't get it because it's just a dry cough but I can't control it. Oh well. If I have to hack out a lung and spit it across the finish line, so be it. People just better watch where they step.

There is a huge Expo the two days before the event, as well as free concerts the day of, so the people waiting there for the participants have all kinds of things to occupy themselves while they wait. Very cool.

YAY! 6 more days...........................

Seven Days and Counting!!!!

Seven more days. Can't really believe it. It's a little anti-climatic, after what seems like MONTHS of training when in reality it's only been since July 29th. It's strange, in hindsight, how much has changed. My workouts, my fitness goals, the expectations of my body, what my body has actually been able to accomplish, my outlook. I know I will spend this week being a bit of a drama queen, but at this moment I am feeling strange, like I should be really examining what this whole experience has brought me, and taught me over the last 8 weeks.

I have not had one single person say that I cannot do this. Well, my mom is completely confused as to why I am even doing this, and I find it hard to even try to explain it to her. Today we went shopping for shoes for little Miss Diva and mom called my race a "walk-a-thon, or whatever it is". I didn't even correct her as I was driving. What's the point? Whenever I have come back after a run and mention how far I went or what body part is aching, she looks at me quizzically and says "Why are you doing this?" and it sounds nuts to say, "Because it's fun!!" Okay, I did do a walkathon when I was 20 years old or so. Really only walked. Never ran. I always thought it was 20 miles and it felt like it but I come to find out it was really like 12 miles or so. Huh.

But everyone else has been amazingly supportive. Seemingly way more people than when I was just going to the gym. Maybe because of the "event". I've been referring to the race as the "event" because one of my biggest supporters reminded me that for us, it's not really a race (except in our own minds) and it's true, I am not RACING, I am FINISHING. I have no doubt that I will finish. Not that I didn't have supporters when I was working out at the gym, I had a ton of them. Probably because I was so happy, the weight was coming off, and I was getting strong and fit. This experience is different. No weight loss (except for the 5 lbs last week, 2 actually came back after an In-n-Out impromptu dinner with Alex last night) but my clothes are looser and I feel slimmer so the muscles are all shifting. I realized when I got home last night that my shorts were so baggy and my t-shirt was too and that maybe I need to go shopping again. :) Now I see people running along the side of the road and it makes me want to join them. I see runners and look at their form. I meet people and mention the event and find that they are runners or former runners. Again, it's this club that I am now a member of, and maybe I feel like I have more support since I started running because it's a bigger club. Not as many people that I talk to have ever heard of Les  Mills, surprisingly, with how world wide the classes are. Oh I miss those classes.

Today's run was at Pulgas Ridge, an open space preserve right off of Edgewood Blvd. It actually has an open dog park in the middle so I saw a ton of people walking and running with their pooches (and the occasional pile of poop, which thankfully I never stepped in - people were pretty good about making sure they cleaned up). I have lived in this area my entire life but it's simply amazing the trails that are literally in my backyard that are fabulous. Now, this was a 5 mile loop, totally doable distance, but the first half was all uphill. All I could think of as I was walking up most of that was that it was WAY easier than the PG&E trail when I did 9 miles and that was BRUTAL. This was shadier, better views, a little iffy with the roots and rocks, but boy, once I got to the top and began the descent, I thought "I could totally see myself doing this on a regular basis", it was that peaceful, beautiful and fun to run.

But I don't know, trails and me (even with a map) don't seem to mix well when I am the last runner and left on my own. At Water Dog Park in Belmont, I took a wrong turn and cut my run short. Today, again I asked Coach James before we left if I would get lost and he said whenever I got to a fork, go left. Sooooooo, sure enough, at the top of the ridge, Marga and Stephanie were ahead as usual, and I get to the top, see a clear trail going to the left, slightly up, and another going right, going down. Well, here I thought I would be smart. First I yelled at the top of my lungs to the others to see which one they took. Did they answer? Naw. So I thought I would do the opposite of what I did the last time - go up instead of down. Plus, the up trail was on the left so I thought it was what I should be doing.

Well, 10 minutes into it the trail got more dense, the brush closer together, and more rustling in the brush made me think of snakes, and sure enough, I hit a fence and a dead end (through the fence was a cul-de-sac with huge houses so I knew in a pinch, there was civilization nearby so I wouldn't fry in the heat and die, but damn, I had to turn around and go back. I whip out my brand new iPhone 4 and post on FaceBook that I was lost, just in case something happened to me, people would know where I was last seen alive. I had forgotten to set the RunKeeper app or use the maps, gps, but I knew that I just needed to find that other trail going down and I would be okay.

Once I found the main trail, I began to run again, and at first it was steep downhill, but further along, it became more level, slightly up and down at times, but the trees and brush became so pretty and I found a pace that worked and ran the whole rest of the way down. That was when I thought that I would love to do this often, it was that peaceful. I saw maybe 4 total people on the way back down. I paused at the bottom where there was a paved road and about 1/2 a mile left to run to the end just to ask some dog walkers which way was the parking lot because another trail met the road and I didn't want to get lost again, but then I ran the whole way back to the start (about 30 minutes) where the whole team met me, cheering and high fiving me. I ran past them straight to the bathroom! Then I asked Coach James if he purposely picked this hilly trail to make us really appreciate the flatness of next week's route and he smiled and said he also wanted us to enjoy the down hill. THAT, I did. Very much.

Other than a little hip tightness, very slight, the only thing bothering me right now is my left heel. I guess 5 miles, even in the hills, is very doable for me now. I find that SO cool, to actually look forward to a 5 mile run as doable, easier (I will not say easy, because much of it was not), and enjoyable.

This makes me reflect on what I have become. Someone who enjoys running. Someone who looks forward to runs. Someone who will not give this up after next weeks event. Someone who could see herself choosing a couple of 1/2 marathons a year, and someone who can actually look forward to some fun runs, some 5k's and 10k's throughout the year. Jen and I were talking yesterday and want to do the Wharf to Wharf next July, as well as the Fun Run on 4th of July.

This all just cracks me up. Because I am not the same person I was 8 weeks ago, in terms of what I thought I could handle athletically. I got my second issue of Runner's World in the mail and again am looking forward to reading it. I think I will create a new vision board, this one devoted to running. I still remember the recurring dream I have had about running, running faster, running freely. I will most likely never be a fast runner and I am okay with that. I want to continue to build my endurance and be able to run long distance easier.

That all said, I simply cannot WAIT to get back to the gym, and my beloved Les Mills classes. I was supposed to cross train during all this and I didn't do enough of it because of the recovery time I needed between runs. I can see myself running twice a week and doing Body Pump 3 times a week and being just happy happy happy. Once 24hour Fitness really launches BP, I will get a pass, check it out, try a kick boxing class and a yoga class, we'll see. I miss my Combat class, but I know that whenever I need a fix, Alex and Kimi will hook me up.

Whew. All this and I didn't even mention the FUN I am having with my new iPhone 4. What did I ever do without it?! Except I took pictures today on my run and while I was able to upload them to FB, I cannot figure out how to get them from the phone to iTunes or on the computer. I just tried and I can't figure it out. So I can't post the pics here on the blog.

I had a great day yesterday, spent 3 hours at Starbucks in the morning chatting about running (!!) among other things with Jen while Jordan and Cassie played, then took the little girls to eat lunch, then to the movies to see Alpha and Omega, then to Hillsdale and while the girls played with the iPads, I got my iPhone!!! I am so excited and it is so much fun. I already said that, didn't I? Then Alex surprised me with a trip to RWC and we met and had dinner at In n Out (which I rarely eat even though Franklin and Alexander LOVE it) but it was SOO nice to see him in person, it's been a couple of months, plus he set up some apps for me on my phone and watched Cassie play with her new Rapunzel doll :) Then back to Jen's house because she had a cover for my new phone and we shared iPhone stuff, then home. I didn't get to bed till well after midnight because the darn thing kept calling me :)

Time to ice the heel again. Enough reflecting. It's making my brain hurt.

All alone

It's a girls weekend.

The boys are off with the team for the big tournament in Fresno...just dropped them off at the field and saw the caravan off. Had to explain over and over to all my other sons why I wasn't going, since I always do, and it was pretty funny to see their reactions when they heard that I was running 13 miles next week. They all said there was no way they could do that! They even started piling in my van until I stopped them and told them I wasn't going. I felt a bit sad and guilty because I rarely miss a tournament, but I've been to this one in Fresno. I declared last September as we sweltered in 108 degree temps on a SMELLY fairground that I would NOT be going if they ever had a tournament again in that stinky town. It just so happens that it falls on the last weekend before the event. So I had a good excuse not to go, can't and won't miss my last long(ish) training run.

There is always that feeling that I will miss something really good, and with Alexander playing more now since recovering from his injury, I miss watching him on the field. Yes, there will be others, but it seems like whenever I am not at a game, he does some amazing plays that just don't sound as good when you are describing them after the fact. Sigh. I also worry about them driving so far. Me the worrywart. I just send them off with good thoughts and prayers and make them call me when they arrive, which means I won't be able to sleep till after midnight tonight.

Then there is the prospect of not having anything to do this weekend. Yes, I have Cassie to hang with. And we are meeting my friend Jen and her daughter Jordan for coffee tomorrow morning, which will be really nice, and a birthday party that Cassie doesn't want to go to, and my run on Sunday, but other than that, again, it's just me and Cass. Gets kinda old, them being gone at soccer so much. I know I need to keep resting because I am still not feeling great, definitely better, but still coughing. I did tell Cassie I would take her to the movies, and to the park. I am so used to being overscheduled that not having lots of plans is hard for me to adjust to.

Franklin asked that if they made it to the finals Sunday at 3:30 would I drive out. Hmmm......run in the morning, then drive 3+ hours by myself, stay for the game, then drive 3+hours back, getting home at probably 9-10 pm or later on a school night. No. It would make me sick to my stomach to miss Alex playing in a championship game, and last year, we did win first place, but I don't think I can do it. With recovering from being sick, then a run, and needing to rest and ice after, I just don't think I am up for it. And so comes more guilt. Sigh.

The bright spot for the weekend is I have decided to GO BUY MY IPHONE!!!!YES!!!! I am not waiting till February, and yes, it will cost me double, but I planned for this purchase with my car accident settlement, and I have the $$ now. I may not have it in Feb to spend, so I am going to go for it. Now I have to decide do I do it through the ATT store or through the Apple store. Decisions, decisions. Reminds me of when both Franklin and Alex left for a week to Washington DC after 8th grade graduation, and I went and bought my Blackberry. Soooo......they boys leave me alone, and to cope, I go new phone shopping. I sense a pattern here :)

Oh, and imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale this morning to find I am down 5 pounds. After commenting that I haven't lost anything since I started running. Hmmm. This week, other than being sick and staying home for 2 days, the only difference I can think of  is the butt load of water and tea I have been drinking. I have known that I my water intake hasn't been great, so I have made a conscious effort lately to drink more. So that must be it. Cool.

So wiped out now. I want to go to bed but want to wait to make sure the guys make it to Fresno okay, so I can sleep in peace. Oh, Cassie just made me go to the bathroom with her to watch her put on lipstick. Great. Not even 5 and now I have to worry about makeup. She looks like a clown, got it all over her mouth. Good thing it's a lip shimmer, not a dark color. My little diva. Sigh.

It's gonna be a long weekend.

Get Ready, Get Set, BAWL!!

Good lord. I have 10 days until my race. My first ever 1/2 marathon. And I pick THIS week to get sick. Seems like the last two weeks I have trained less, and I am beginning to freak out.

First there was the week that Cassie was sick, my hip acted up, but I did 10-1/2 that Sunday. Okay, good.

Then I did 7 this past Sunday, beginning the taper. Was supposed to do 4 miles Tuesday and Thursday. Then I get sick, so no running either day. Crap.

Sunday the plan is 5 miles. Need to rest up, although, and this cracks me up to say it, 5 miles will be soooo easy. We are doing a new route in the hills again, looking forward to it although I have come to love Sawyer Camp Trail and its predictability.

Find out from Alex this week that the closer I get to the race, the more vulnerable my immune system is (hence the cold I am fighting), plus my hormones will get all wacko and I will be emotional. Now, that all is coming true so either he knows what he speaks of, or he just knows that I am an emotionally sensitive Pisces, like him. Either way, I have warned everyone (especially MY Alex, who is in rare teenage form this week) that they better be EXTRA nice to me. They have already seen me lose it over stupid things this week. I told Alexander that he has 10 more days to watch it. His response? "I know Mom, I will" actually really sincerely! This is on the drive back from his EX-girlfriend's house tonight, where I had to pick him and 4 others because the idiot parents (and their daughter) changed the plans AGAIN regarding this quincinera (15th bday) that these boys are dancing in. They were supposed to go get fitted for tuxes but ended up being driven to Union City for a dance practice my kid was not supposed to go to, because he has soccer tonight to prepare for this tournament in Fresno this weekend. So I ended up driving all the way there in commuter traffic to get all of them, and let me tell you I let them have it. Not their fault, but come on, this chick is so wishy-washy and keeps changing practice days, hell the date of her 15th party was originally June 12 and it's now October? Get it together. Okay, this has nothing to do with my race but I had to get it out because I am annoyed. Done.


I was able to sign up for this service during the race where people who want to track my progress can receive a few texts during the actual race to see how I am doing. I sent the invite out to a few family members and close friends and only 2 have accepted. So either people don't want to do it, which is fine, but I can offer the service to others if they want it. I just need to know. In my current state of mind, I may cry thinking people don't love me :) I signed Franklin up, so that he knows where I am as he is arriving to San Jose with the kids and making his way to the finish line.

So, 10 days till my race. Need to rest, eat well and get some training in. Hoping against hope that my remaining days are enough to prepare for this race. I think I am ready.

As long as I don't completely lose my mind before then.

I. CANNOT. MOVE. RIGHT. NOW.

Yikes. I was all geared up to do 12 miles today. Then this week threw me for a loop. Cassie got sick (well, her asthma kicked up and with her cough, I kept her home for 2 days for treatments) and I didn't run on Tuesday, or Wednesday. Thursday was Alex's Back to School night so I didn't run then. Friday, Steph and I met in Woodside hills, up near  Huddard Park, for what was to be a beautiful short 3 mile run. And as soon as I get out of the car, my stupid hip flexor starts nagging me, and so we started walking, and it just got worse. We had to turn around at a mile and go back because it started spasming. I was SO upset. Good thing Steph is a tall girl; I was prepared to just run through it and she wouldn't let me. I can't even express how pissed, and worried I was, that I wouldn't be able to do my 12 today.

at the 5 mile marker

just past the 5 mile marker - great view!

at the end...holding up 10 fingers but I really went 10-1/2 miles!

I rested, iced, took advil, stretched, rolled, etc. Took care of it and yesterday it was much better. So I figured, okay, why not try to do at least 10 and not push it to 12 so that I don't injure myself more.

Spent some time talking to my sister in law Olga, who walked the San Diego Rock n Roll full marathon this past June and got some advice regarding my nutrition. I think I was limiting my water/electrolyte drink intake because of the fear of being able to go to the bathroom, so that could have contributed to my extreme nausea after every run. I also wasn't eating anything after, since by the time I would finish, pick up the kids and get home, get dinner, it would sometimes be an hour or two by the time I got something in my stomach. I also was chewing the shot blocks but maybe not enough during the runs. So all this together, plus eating very little before. All I know is I have to figure this out SOON since the race is in 3 weeks!

So this morning, I ate a hard boiled egg white (even though I was told not to eat protein but I do every morning so I thought why not) and a small bowl of steel cut oatmeal. Made sure it was a full hour before my run. Made sure to drink some water before. Went to the bathroom at home, then at the beginning of the trail, then at the .75 mark, the 3.5 mile marker, and again at the 3.5 marker on the way back. Sheesh. Good thing there are port a potties along the race route. I brought a protein bar with me to eat in the car right after. I never finish both my 10 oz water bottles that I carry on my belt; today I made sure to finish them both. I also ate 4 shot blox over the whole run.

So the plan was to go as far I could go, paying attention to how my body was feeling. I felt great, no pain, so we ran, and walked, and ran, ran, ran.  Of course, had to walk but I am feeling stronger and able to run longer. My pace is slower, though, and at times I get so frustrated with my slow pace but I am finding I can go longer if I pay attention to my own pace rather than Steph's, and we run with our music and just find a groove. I still am not able to hold much of a conversation without getting winded.

I have never gone past the 3.5 marker; I was excited to do that today. I was breaking new ground! Immediately past it, the trail got very green and the scenery was beautiful, more hilly than the rest of the trail. We hit the 5 mile marker, and went up the hill past it and on one side, was the water; the other side, the hills and dry area. The rest of the way to the 6 mile mark was uphill. I just didn't think I could do it today, because at that point, my hips and lower back were starting to ache and I knew I had to make it all the way back. So we went another 1/4 mile until the point where it started to climb; turned around and went back.

By the time we got to the beginning, I was floored that I did 10.5 miles! We walked for a bit, talking, but ran to the end. I was sure feeling it then, physically.

And now, at 9:30 pm, I can hardly walk! I am so incredibly sore. I have pain in both shins, my heel, my knees, my hips, my lower back.......but even though I have never gone this far, I have been recovering faster after these long runs, so I am banking on that so I can walk tomorrow!

The day after the race (in 3 weeks, oh my god) Stephanie and I are planning a spa day in Santa Cruz.....1-1/2 hour hot tub, 1-1/2 hour massages, lunch.......a great reward for my first ever 1/2 marathon! I am hoping, since we did 10-1/2 miles in exactly 3 hours (with a lot of potty stops and walking) that I will finish the entire 13 in 3 hours. We shall see. Steph made me promise today that after this race is over, I will not stop running. I can see myself running twice a week, and FOR SURE getting back to my Body Pump classes, most likely at 24 hour fitness since they are going to be launching them in October. I sure do miss my Alex and Kimi, though, and will have to go crash their classes. I don't even know if I can keep up with them anymore (not that I ever did!!) but running is so different. Looking forward to truly cross training. I am even contemplating what races I can sign up for next - like maybe a couple of 5K's, and most likely for sure the 1/2 in Reno that my niece Amanda wants to run with me. Gives me plenty of time to train!

But right now - I. CANNOT. MOVE. or at least, not very fast, or very well......nighty night!

Gearing up for 12

Good lord. After a fairly easy 7 miles at Sawyer today (compared to the 9 miles of hill hell last week), Steph drops the bomb that next Sunday, we are going to do the full Sawyer trail, 12 miles. That gives us 3 weeks to taper off before the race on October 3rd. Now this week is going to be a test for me not to FREAK out at the thought of doing the entire trail. She says I can do it, I probably can, but what in the world am I gonna be like when I finish? I am a wreck after 7 and 9 miles. I decided I can't plan anything important on Sundays, because I spend hours after my runs feeling sick to my stomach, icing my shins, knees and heel, and limp my way through the rest of the day.

The good news is that today I ran farther and longer, found my pace and went with it while Steph went ahead. I am still playing with the nutrition, think I consumed too many Shot Blox and was nauseous during the run. I just want to KNOW the right thing for my body and am really tired of the trial and error. It sucks. I hate feeling sick to my stomach for hours after my long runs. This is going to make me not want to keep running after my 1/2. And the thing is, I can see myself continuing twice a week in addition to getting back to my Les Mills classes, once 24 hr fitness gets them and I switch gyms.

Before last Sunday's 9 mile run, I worked myself into a frenzy at the thought of 9, so much that I was sick to my stomach that morning. I am seriously going to need talking off the ledge from friends this week so that I can wrap my head around 12 miles. All I know is that if I can do that, then the 13 mile 1/2 will be a breeze (who am I kidding?) I need to pack a fold up scooter to take with me so I can ride in the last few miles. 12? 12? Crap.

I got nothing else. Tired, physically and emotionally, and need to vegetate and go to bed soon. Thank goodness I am off tomorrow. SIGH.