Today Could Be Day One

It's been an exhausting couple of days. I don't think I can write about it all yet. Still too fresh, too many emotions swirling around.

Yesterday was the four year anniversary of my dad's death. It was overshadowed by the death of a close friend, our son's former coach, Franklin's mentor and friend, Salvador early yesterday. Strangely, his death from a heart attack has brought up similar feelings with me that I had after dad died - health related, life's too short, fears surrounding health choices being made by my family members.....and today I woke up and refocused my own diet and hopefully will be able to get a handle on it again.

I had a very vivid dream last night. I found some photos of me taken by my sister in law when we went to the beach the day after dad's death. Exactly 4 years ago today. I have some "before" pictures, but for some reason, these were a bit more shocking. Now, while I didn't have my epiphany that same day, I do now consider that day the day I began my journey. I say this because it was dad dying from complications of diabetes, along with lifelong poor health choices and inactivity that motivated me FINALLY to do something. To do something about my own lifelong poor habits, my own inactivity. I didn't walk into my first BodyPump class until about 6 months later, but from the time dad died until that point, my mind was thinking, planning, getting a grip on things that had never "stuck" before.

So my dream was that I printed this particular picture out and took it to my BodyPump class tonight to share with my participants. I've been feeling very reflective these last couple of days and I dreamt that I shared a brief portion of my story with my class. Today, I posted that picture on FaceBook and so many people were supportive. I decided to do what I dreamt about - I printed that picture, brought some tape and before class, shared it with a couple of people. Several members knew my story - either from Gold's or are my FB friends. But there are 30 more people in my class and I have this urge right now to inspire, maybe reach a few more people. Let people know that it's a journey, it's one day at a time, one class at a time. If I can do it, so can they.

I set up for class and before I started, I announced to them that I don't normally share personal info like this to the whole class but I was feeling reflective and told them about my dads anniversary yesterday, and how his death was due to poor health choices and how it inspired me to make my own changes. I began shaking as I spoke, then turned the picture around and showed them. I told them I walked into my first BP class about 6 months after that picture was taken, told them it was taken four years ago today, and when I did, the back row started applauding, which then made everyone clap and I and taped it up on the wall behind me. I almost started crying, but told them that BP changed my life, and it's been a process but worth every step. I then had them pick up their bars and told them that in light of what I just told them, I wanted them to challenge themselves a bit tonight - go a little heavier, squat a little deeper, go a little longer.

I guess I talked a bit too much because class went a bit late tonight. I also had several bloops but I think I was thinking so much about how much I just opened myself up. After class, so many people came up to look up close at my picture, ask me how much weight I had lost, did I diet, etc. Even after I finally got out of the Group X room, I had people asking me questions. I sincerely hope my story helps someone, inspires them to keep coming to class, to take that first step, pushes them to finish a track, makes them think twice about what they put in their mouths, to never give up.

This could be Day One. I got that off a Les Mills poster, but it is really fitting for me right now. I'm half the woman I was four years ago, and I'm farther along than Day One, but I'm feeling like I'm at Day One all over again. Salvador's death, my dad's anniversary, both bringing things back in perspective. Feeling like my eating, while not OUT of control, certainly is not in control. I'm proud of how far I've come, but I'm not there yet. I'm not done. I don't feel FAT but I don't feel like I'm at my goal. So the rest of the summer will be spent paying attention to my food, adding more cardio and drinking more water. I'd like to be a bit fitter/thinner before the Mega Q in Texas at the end of August.

I had a few people tell me today to send in that picture to Les Mills. I wouldn't even know how to do that. I feel weird doing it, because it's like I'm showing off. I just want to inspire. I don't need to brag. I love hearing from people that I've inspired them. That's why I do this, why I blog, why I teach. To give back, to help people like I've been helped and supported. If I can do that, I don't need anything else.

Oops I Did it AGAIN.......

My middle name is Oops. Or Dopey. Or any other number of names that can adequately portray the dip that I am. I swear tonight I felt, for a few moments, like I did my first two weeks of teaching BodyPump.

I spent the middle part of the day in SF at UCSF with Kimi taking CX-30 and BodyFlow. Damn these are hard! Flow has gotten harder, like Pump, I think, since the inception of the hard core "core" program, CX-30, we are feeling it across the board on all the programs. BP has fewer recoveries, more core work, and I went up to do Flow hoping to release some of this back tension I have been feeling. Um....uh.....NOPE. After 30 minutes of core work, then lots of balance, strength and MORE core work in Flow....then teaching BP tonight? My core is SORE. Which is the point, I suppose. Now if eventually some of this belly flab would go away...it will all be worth it!

After Kimi's classes, we had a bit of time to go for coffee again and enjoyed our girl selves as usual. I headed back to RWC and went on a marathon sprint with the kids - picked up Alex from the movies, dropped him off at his friend's for a haircut, ran to pick up Cassie from mom's, back to pick up Alex, stopped at home so he could change into soccer gear, dropped him off at practice and then to the gym to teach. Just call me the Taxi Driver.

Class was great as usual, but here is my OOPS: started squats, literally 1 full minute into the track and I realize something is off with the music. Yes, I did it again. It was the TRICEP track! Hullo?? The iPod wasn't even on shuffle! I have NO idea how it happened. Poor people....made them stop while I started the correct song because even though I had the counts down, and it seemed to be working......well, I just couldn't do it. They got about 7 minutes of squats. Sowwwwwy. And a few people noticed, cause I've taught this twice already, but did anyone stop me? Nope. DUH.Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Where's the Beautiful Monster? She was screwing up class again!

After, Cassie and I took a field trip to Jamba  Juice and Chipoltle and then off to San Mateo to meet Alex and drop off his microphone. Got home late, and now it's late, but we are up at 5:00am to head to Davis for a soccer tournament. 3 boys spending the night and they aren't even home yet. Too bad.

This tired, core challenged, brain cell deprived mama is off to bed.

Not Again!!!

It's day 12 of my vacation. What I have done that's productive? Not a whole heck of a lot. Sure, I cleaned the bathroom and washed a few loads of laundry. I also dusted and vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen floor. Big whoop. I've slept in a few times, but taken no naps. I've spent hours practicing BodyPump 78 choreograhy and taught several awesome classes. I've taken a few classes as a participant. Okay, vacation is looking up a bit. My children got me playing Angry Birds, which I swore I would not ever begin, and Words with Friends keeps me busy before bed. I'm enjoying my iPad immensely.

But have I really done what's on my to-do list? Big fat NOPE. Projects like going through Cassie's clothes and toys and donating them. Going through my own clothes, making Franklin go through his and getting rid of them. Purging some clutter that does not seem to happen during the school year. I feel my vacation slowly slipping away and I NEED to get cracking. I also have friends to get together with, dates to go on with my husband, pool dates with my kids.....relax, enjoy....why in the world do I always spend my summers off stressing about how much I need to do when what I really want to do is nothing? Sigh.

Okay, on to tonight. Class was packed, I lagged a bit and almost missed out on getting my weights, with the mad scramble. Jessica came to class, with her big beautiful belly and did a great job at BP for the first time in 6 months. Several regulars are still MIA but it's summer so I know people are busy.

I'm having so much fun with this release. After the mic issue yesterday, I was very conscious of the volume of my voice with the mic working, so while I had way to much fun, I was not as exuberant as I was on Sunday. I really love watching the looks of pain on people's faces. It shoes me they are working hard and changing their bodies, and reminds me of myself as a participant. There's a small part of me that misses that role, one of a participant who was focused only on myself. That said, I wouldn't trade what I'm doing for anything. I love what I do.

So.........during biceps, my mic started making funny noises. Sounded like I was farting, which I was not of course, but it started making these popping noises at different times and I could not figure out what was going on. Finally, at the end of biceps, the mic died. I looked down and noticed the red light on. Well, previous experience proved that it meant the battery was dead (I discovered this during the last launch when the mic didn't work and I thought the solid light meant the battery was working, not that it was dead!) at this point I knew there was no time to go change the battery because I was running a bit behind (talking too much I suppose) so I ripped the mic off, tossed it on the floor and went a cappella yet AGAIN. The show must go on!Did I mind? Heck no, unleash the beast again, just in time for lunges! Woo hoo!!

Tomorrow will be a good day. I'm getting together for coffee with Janet, to catch up on her retired lifestyle (all of 13 days!) and then in the afternoon off to SF to spend some girl time with Kimi and take CX-30 from her. Can't wait! We are traveling in August to Texas to another Les Mills Quarterly, a Super Mega Q, that will be bigger and better than the one I went to in March. So excited and Kimi and I have not spent any time together outside the gym since last November! Crazy busy we are so it will be good to see her. She's going to help me with some nutrition counseling and fitness stuff - need to balance my workouts and make some different food choices to begin seeing some pounds come off. I have not lost ANY weight for a year. How ridiculous is that? Sigh.

Off to bed. Oh, better have some tea and honey first. Vocal cords overworked the last few days! Hahahaha!

Another first

I taught my first BP class sans microphone yesterday. I was so excited to teach my second class of this release and there were even more participants than usual for my sunday class. Well, I go to strap on my mic and low and behold, it did not work. I changed the battery, wiggled the cords, tried everything and nada. So I let the class know that even though it was a new release, they would have to suffer through me with no mic.

And the funny thing? It was one of my best classes. I think that the energy I felt the day before after taking Alex's class and then teaching my own was still with me. Plus the fact that even though I had to lower the music a bit so I could project my voice, well, it unleashed something in me, my inner beast! I felt like Alex, exuberant, loud, energetic, positive, excited.....I didn't have to worry about me blasting everyone's ears out with the microphone. I had SO much FUN!!! I love this release but being uninhibited without the sound made it even better.

Now I know it was not ideal. I have to protect my vocal cords by using a mic. I've been hydrating, drinking water with lemon and honey and not yelling too much at my kids. It's all good.

After class, I stayed for another hour and a half to work with Deb and videotaped some tracks. I didn't have a camera so I used my iPhone and then had to upload them to my computer, but had issues emailing so I ended up burning each track to a DVD. Big pain so Amy is lending me her camera tomorrow so I can keep that and use it until we get a final taping down.

Well, in true Kristy form, this is what I discovered as Deb, Kristin and I were getting set up for Deb's run through. I went to fiddle with the mic again because I couldn't believe it didn't work as it was apparently working on Saturday. What did I discover? I had NOT TURNED ON THE POWER BUTTON on the stereo system. DUH. I cannot believe I taught an entire class without a mic and it was my own damned fault! Ugh! I felt like a total dip. At least the entire class didn't reload that, only Deb and Kristin. Sheesh.

Oh well. Lesson learned.....again!

Wired

I have no idea why I cannot sleep. I've had an exhausting few days. I've been frantically practicing the new BodyPump release to prepare for today's launch. Yesterday I drove a total of over five hours to and from a soccer tournament in Roseville. Today I drove, after two BodyPump classes, to Stockton and back (3+ hours)for my brother's birthday party. By all rights I should be sound asleep right now.

Instead it is 1:30am and I have to wake the boys up at 5:00 am so they can leave for the semi finals back in Roseville. I cannot go as I have my class to teach at 11:15.

I can only guess that I am still riding the high that came today from teaching an awesome release. I know I say that each time but les mills keeps topping themselves with amazing choreography and innovations and music. I have been listening to these tracks for weeks but for some strange reason, and maybe only another instructor can relate, teaching it today for the first time made it all brand new again, so fresh and exciting for me. I should be completely sick of the music with how much I have been listening to it but teaching the class - an unexplainable RUSH.

I began today by going to San Mateo to take the class that Alex was launching, selfishly as a practice run through for me in preparation for my own classes at PAC and 24. Good thing I did because doing it really solidified it for me and i was much more comfortable teaching. The best part? Being a student again with Alex, and taking in his energy and enthusiasm and expertise. So many people came up to him and went to the front desk asking for him to teach there. They loved him, as do I! Without realizing it, I took that energy from him and taught my best class at PAC an hour later. I had so many people come up and thank me, introduce themselves to me, chat with me, and some were even disappointed when I said I only teach there once a week. It was a very humbling experience, and one that makes me so happy, so thankful I have this program in my life, to be able to share that with others. Yes, I am already sore, even though for Alex's class I went very light on my weights overall.

I have more to write but this process has actually made me sleepy so I better take advantage. I'm sure after launching in my sunday class I will have more to share. Overall, though, a great but tiring day.